Thursday, February 3, 2011

Chapter 1: Preface of party &

I have a terrible confession to make.


I gave Stephenie Meyer my money. I feel very dirty about this, but it had to be done.


I was using a PDF file I downloaded off the intertubes to do my review of Twilight. There were two main problems with this: first, the page numbers were off (my PDF had about 290 pages while Twilight actually has 498) so I couldn’t properly cite anything; secondly, there were some utterly bizarre formatting and spelling mistakes that were probably the fault of the PDF and not the fault of Meyer… although I could be wrong. Nevertheless, I will feel more legitimate reviewing the rest of the series in its true form.


I almost couldn’t find the book, and I hated every moment of searching for it. The first bookstore I went to didn’t seem to have a Young Adult fiction section. After nervously charging around the store for about half an hour (as if I was going to ask somewhere where they keep the sparkling vampires), I gave up and walked a bit further down rue Ste-Cat to the Indigo. I found the YA section… but it was all in French. I live in MontrĂ©al, so things are mostly French here, but bookstores are still largely English. I was worried that maybe Indigo thought tweens couldn’t read English yet or something crazy like that (I am so jealous of kids in MontrĂ©al, growing up bilingual while I had to bleed through French Immersion).


So there I am, panicking in the bookstore, staring fretfully at “Tentation” and  wishing it would translate itself into New Moon. I mean, I am fluent in French, but I can’t review the book in French for my English blog!

Proof.


I walked through a few more rows and found the English YA section. Crisis averted. I didn’t want the cashier to judge me and think I have poor taste in fiction, so I grabbed George R.R. Martin’s A Clash of Kings which is the sequel to A Game of Thrones, so that I would have an actual kickass fantasy novel to prove that I don’t have bad taste because I am self-conscious.


Alright, enough stalling. Let’s crack open New Moon and see what my best friend in the world, Bella Swan is up to.


Preface & Chapter One: Party


New Moon opens with that Smeyer Vagueness™ we are used to, with a page of Bella running through what she thinks is a dream. It’ll probably show up in the end of the book somewhere.


Smeyer creatively moves onto another dream in Chapter One.



I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure I was dreaming. (pg.3)


Shut up, Bella, that is no way to start the first chapter in a published novel.


Smeyer is doing that annoying thing that authors do in sequel novels where she is recapping was happened in the last book, which involves Bella having a dream, as per usual. Bella thinks she is in heaven with her grandmother, but Edward is there for some reason, sparkling away, and Bella is all, “oh crap, I have to explain to Grandma that I am dating a sparkling douchebag who wants to eat me.”



I didn’t have to look to know who it was; this was a voice I would know anywhere — know, and respond to, whether I was awake or asleep… or even dead, I’d bet. The voice I’d walk through fire for — or, less dramatically, slosh every day through the cold and endless rain for. (pg.4)


THAT IS NOT HOW WE WRITE THINGS, MEYER. I don’t know where to begin with this one. The abuse of punctuation, those dangling prepositions, the dripping hyperbolized romance. Here, my friends, is proof that even a university degree IN ENGLISH LITERATURE does not make one smart. Who gave Smeyer that diploma? Was it the Mormons? It was the Mormons, wasn’t it?



After many wasted pages, Meyer reveals that it was a dream, and we find out that it was an old Bella in her dream, not her grandmother, because Bella is afraid of getting old.


Because today is Bella Swan’s birthday.


Happy birthday, Bella! YOU ARE FINALLY AT THE AGE OF CONSENT CONGRATULATIONS now go kiss your hundred-year-old boyfriend.


Bella’s birthday is the worst day of Bella’s life because she is eighteen but Edward will always be “seventeen.” Bella spends one sentence noting that she had the best summer of her life before running to the mirror to check for wrinkles and launching into her usual list of complaints and incessant whining. Oh Bella. It’s really you. You’re back.



I wasn’t entirely able to avoid my dad, and so I had to spend a few minutes acting cheerful. I honestly tried to be excited about the gifts I’d asked him not to get me, but every time I had to smile, it felt like I might start crying. (pg.7)


You’re lucky Charlie didn’t force you to become homeless after than stunt you pulled in the last book, you ungrateful bitch! You should be thankful he even speaks to you, let alone gives you presents.


Bella goes to school, where Alice and Edward are waiting for her. It seems like Alice and Bella are BFFs now. Edward is just as gushed over as ever.



Even after half a year with him, I still couldn’t believe that I deserved this degree of good fortune. (pg.7)


That is some nice self-esteem you are promoting there, Smeyer.



I looked into his liquid topaz eyes, and my heart gave a not-quite-so-gentle squeeze of its own. Hearing the stutter in my heartbeats, he smiled again. (pg.9)


Smeyer, there are two things I would really like from you. First, to take a fucking biology lesson. Or get your ears checked out. Can you actually hear peoples’ hearts beating from several feet away? As well, it’d be great if you stopped using the word topaz. I lost track of how many times you used it just in this chapter. Because it’s not a very good word to use to describe colour.



I couldn’t really see Edward’s point, to be honest. What was so great about mortality? Being a vampire didn’t look like such a terrible thing. (pg.10)


SHUT UP, BELLA



“I thought my birthday was about what I want.” (pg.11)


SHUT UP, BELLA, SHUT UP SHUT UP



We had almost every class together now — it was amazing the favors Edward could get the female administrators to do for him. (pg.12)


SERIOUSLY BELLA STOP PROMOTING MISOGYNY



Attention is never a good thing, as any other accident-prone klutz would agree. (pg.12)


BELLA I HATE YOU



College was Plan B. I was still hoping for Plan A, but Edward was just so stubborn about leaving me human… (pg.13)


SHUT UP BELLA YOU’RE BEING AN IDIOT



But how could I let him give me things when I had nothing to reciprocate with? He, for some unfathomable reason, wanted to be with me. Anything he gave me on top of that just threw us more out of balance. (pg.13)



At lunch, Bella “introduces” all her friends. What I mean to say is she lists their names and we will probably never hear about them again. There are even two names I don’t remember hearing before. It is heartwarming how much Bella values her friendships.


Bella and Edward go to Bella’s house where they watch Romeo and Juliet. Edward whispers Romeo’s lines in Bella’s ear which I find to be very creepy, but maybe that’s what most chicks are into these days.


Edward then talks about how he doesn’t plan on living without Bella, so when he thought James might have killed her in the last book, he was going to go to Italy to “provoke the Volturi.” The Volturi are apparently a group of very old and powerful vampires, so Edward was going to use them to kill himself if Bella died. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.


I can see how this was inspired by Romeo and Juliet. Did Shakespeare forget to remind Meyer that Romeo and Juliet was a cautionary tale?


Edward takes Bella to his house because his whole family has been preparing for Bella’s birthday party. They don’t get to celebrate birthdays, but Bella doesn’t care. Bella just wants to mope and complain that they are paying attention to her and whine about how she begged for them not to get her presents.


You know what sort of people say they don’t want presents?


People who fucking want presents.



Alice, I assumed, had covered every flat surface with pink candles and dozens of crystal bowls filled with hundreds of roses. There was a table with a white cloth draped over it next to Edward’s grand piano, holding a pink birthday cake, more roses, a stack of glass plates, and a small pile of silver-wrapped presents.


It was a hundred times worse than I’d imagined. (pg.25)


Maybe this is just a personal thing for me, but few things bother me more than people who hate their birthday and spend the entire week leading up to their birthday complaining about it and then their whole birthday complaining about it when all I want to do is make them a nice cake to show them I am glad they were born. I love my birthday, and I especially love my friends’ birthdays. When I was a teenager, I had a friend who shared my birthday, and she acted just like Bella on her birthday. I would wish my friend a happy birthday, and instead of saying happy birthday back to me, she would grunt and roll her eyes and storm off. She managed to ruin every single one of my birthdays being so self-centered and sour. So excuse me if I can’t stand Bella complaining about being showered with love and gifts.


SO THEN THIS HAPPENS


Bella is opening a gift from Edward & Alice. She gets a papercut from the wrapping paper and begins to bleed. Naturally, Jasper goes crazy and lunges at her, so Edward pushes her out of the way and Bella goes flying into the table, smashing the crystal plates and glasses. As Edward wrestles with Jasper, Bella gouges her arm open on the broken glass since we all know how much Smeyer loves goring Bella up. Now there is blood pooling everywhere in a room of six vampires.


I really hope they eat Bella.

Tags: abusive relationships, bad writing, bella swan, books, creepy, critique, edward cullen, fantasy, feminism, fiction, high school, meyer, mormon, mormonism, new moon, relationships, review, romance, sexism, stephenie meyer, stockholm syndrome, the cullens, twilight, twilight saga, vampires


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The gentlemen's Club, a story for all women

November 13, 2010 at 2. Books/novels for women, 1. Becky Due/Author Becky Due, 6. The gentlemen's Club: a story for all women | Tags: Becky Due, women's fiction, book reviews, modern romance read Online free balance of women, female force book Romance book clubs, book clubs news, women's fiction and romance, books

I was on the edge. I had the feeling that things were changing. I had slept in the same parking very often, but it was my favorite. Belonged to a company with employees, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Small hills surrounded my car blocking my way. I felt safe is just off the main road. The same traffic that made me my security risk are also created.

— Members of the Club, a story for all women

http://www.beckydue.com/


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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Healing Emotional Abuse - Signs, Symptoms & Help For Relationship Problems


It's the cycle of abuse. Abusers always have a history of childhood abuse. They don't mean to pass it on and they would do better if they knew how. Whether you are the abuse victim or perpetrator, you must make a decision to stop the cycle of dysfunction now. Yes, the spider web of abuse is huge, but it can be healed.

Signs of Emotional Abuse:

- Unrelenting criticism

- Yelling

- Intimidation

- Sulking

- Manipulation

- Refusal to be pleased, no matter what you do or say

- Neglect

- Abandonment

- Denies you outside friends or hobbies

- Insists on going everywhere with you

- Negates your opinion

- Won't support your success

It's easy to see if you have been affected by emotional abuse, because the effect of abuse warps personalities.

Symptoms You Have Been Emotionally Abused:

- You are afraid to state your opinion for fear of retaliation.

- You've slowly stopped doing things you enjoy.

- If you miss a phone call, text message or email, you hurry to respond, hoping to avoid a fight.

- You have been ignored or rejected as a "punishment" for your behavior.

- You agree to things just to avoid a fight.

- You report where you are, who you are with and what you are doing.

- You've never received an apology, even when you've been right.

- You take the blame & responsibility for other people's unhappiness or problems.

- You suffer from low self esteem.

- Believe jealousy is proof of love.

Many people think emotional abuse only happens in love relationships, like boyfriend to girlfriend or husband to wife. But domestic abuse is not the only hot bed of pain. Emotional abuse can be seen in child abuse, elder abuse, between friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors and just about any combination of two or more people.

Solutions to Emotional Abuse:

- If you are involved in an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind, get out now. And don't go back until professional help is sought and completed by both of you. Sharon is a woman whose health was severely compromised as a result of working in a department where her co-workers shunned her, made fun of her, lied about her and gossiped about her lack of success and brains. Several times she did report abuse, but her immediate supervisor, as well as the human resources department, did nothing to help her. No paycheck in the world is worth this kind of treatment. Sharon was so beaten down from years of this abuse that she finally gave up and quit her job, before she ended up in the hospital. So, get away from the abuse immediately.

- Stop the abuse by calling for help. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Let the cycle of abuse stop now and RUN for help. Not another day of abuse needs to be a part of your life.








Professional Psychic & Certified Behavioral Therapist, Kathi Calahan, helps lovers heal their relationship by identifying the underlying problem and providing workable solutions, even if they're thinking of throwing in the towel. Her free newsletter American Love Psychic - How to Grow Old Together is available at http://www.AmericanLovePsychic.com.


Quiz: are you in an abusive relationship?

Whether it's physical abuse or emotional abuse is still overuse and don't deserve.

This is the second part of a series of training do domestic violence and abusive relationships. People often forget that manipulation, emotional and verbal abuse are still forms of abuse and should not be tolerated in a relationship. Read the first part here.

Last week I shared a story about a friend who is in a relationship emotionally abuse, unhealthy, and my attempt to help the emergence of this. Also, it is recommended that information of the House of Laura about how to help a friend who is in an abusive relationship.

I have of my training as a crisis in favour of certified domestic violence, more information about domestic violence and abusive relationships that I share in the coming weeks.

Some people may not even realize that they are in an unhealthy relationship. Why your listing of this quiz from the House of Laura:

(Answer Yes or no to each question.)

Before you have met your partner, you have more friends than they are now (by you or saw do more than you do now) used to be more outgoing and engaging with your friends, family or business unless you often to crying or very sad if your partner calls or texts, you must call the back immediately he said that I loved your early in the relationship is jealous when you browse or casually with someone of the opposite sex talk. He accuses your behaviour that actually doesn't do is aggressive in other areas of life. For example, this will open up holes in walls or toilet or throw things like angry. behavior often rough-houses or reproduction-struggling with you he makes excuses. for bad behavior or says that it is your fault. "has a" dramatic "life at home. He was physically or verbally I think parents who are alcoholics or drug addicts is an alcoholic or drug abuse, he often gives tips on choosing your friends, clothing and other decisions your offensive names. requests, and then laughs and says that only your plate or that you are very sensitive you secretive or have started lying to your partner after you started dating your partner you are very sad. When you are out of your partner need to explain yourself to your partner or you often say that your colleague excuses. more decisions he makes people afraid. by threats, harassing looks or gestures. your partner does not seriously your concerns or opinions. your partner threatens to kill too, if you leave them.


If you answered Yes, any of these questions, it is possible in a violent relationship. Please seek professional help or advice. A source is to call the service national national domestic violence hotline 866-498-1511.

Remains

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Abusive Relationship - 8 Reasons You Haven't Left Your Abusive Relationship


You know from the core of your being that living in an abusive relationship is not good...not healthy...outright destructive. But you struggle with leaving. And those that know of your circumstances remain perplexed as to why you just don't go.

I understand and so do the millions of others who have walked in your shoes. The following 8 reasons why people remain in abusive relationships might give you some compassion toward yourself and some clarity with respect to your predicament.

1) You hope, wish and truly want your partner to change.

2) You consciously, and unconsciously, have shouldered fault for his/her battering behavior.

3) You have limited resources and question your ability to carry-on on your own.

4) There are children involved and you know it will be harder being his/her ex (the enemy) than it is being his/her partner and alleged "friend."

5) You think it is your "Job" to keep the family together till "death due us part."

6) Your family, and his/her family, wants you to keep the elephant under the carpet at all cost.

7) In your mind, you are not a "battered woman" or an "abused man"...the title is beyond your wildest dreams about yourself.

8) YET you know from the core of your being that the moment you leave the danger you currently know will escalate, significantly.

Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as one my think as an outsider looking in. So allow all of your misgivings about doing so come to the surface and sort them out one by one.

You are not alone. Your exit is not simple. But in the long run once out of an abusive relationship, you will breath a sigh of relief and glow from the core of your being.








If you want deeper understanding of what maintains and what prevents abusive relationships, experience the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen?. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals, families and healthcare professionals recognize and end domestic abuse.

? 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D. PreventAbusiveRelationships.com


Abusive Relationships - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Assuming Responsibility For the Battering Behavior


We hear it all the time: "You're not responsible for your abuser's battering behavior." Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it.

Often, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims of domestic abuse make in their abusive relationships.

3 deadly mistakes of shouldering the responsibility for battering behavior 

1) From others:  You inadvertently tell bystanders that you own all or part of the battering. You asked for it. You enjoy it...you deserve it. This is where the myth that "she deserves it" comes from.

2) From your partner:  When you join the dance and try to change your partner, you assume the responsibility to fix it. And if you're doing this, it must be your fault. This supports your abuser's belief that it is partly, or completely, your fault, which lends permission to continue to give you what you deserve...more battering.

3) From yourself:  Your efforts to change your partner prevent you from changing yourself, because no one is then available to tend to your own business. When you are in someone else's business being responsible for their behavior, how can you be in our own business? You can't.

Byron Katie says this so clearly. When you're not in your own business, you're disconnected from yourself. It is as though no one is home minding your affairs. And your connection to your authentic self is severed. This is the greatest death domestic abuse survivors endure.

If you are a victim of domestic abuse and you find yourself giving excuses for your batterer's behavior, halt and remember these three deadly mistakes. Recognize how your efforts to change your abusive partner result in the continuation of your abusive relationship and your loss of your authentic self.








For a deeper understanding of the dynamics of abusive relationships, see Domestic Abuse Dynamics: Identify Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com

?2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention