You know from the core of your being that living in an abusive relationship is not good...not healthy...outright destructive. But you struggle with leaving. And those that know of your circumstances remain perplexed as to why you just don't go.
I understand and so do the millions of others who have walked in your shoes. The following 8 reasons why people remain in abusive relationships might give you some compassion toward yourself and some clarity with respect to your predicament.
1) You hope, wish and truly want your partner to change.
2) You consciously, and unconsciously, have shouldered fault for his/her battering behavior.
3) You have limited resources and question your ability to carry-on on your own.
4) There are children involved and you know it will be harder being his/her ex (the enemy) than it is being his/her partner and alleged "friend."
5) You think it is your "Job" to keep the family together till "death due us part."
6) Your family, and his/her family, wants you to keep the elephant under the carpet at all cost.
7) In your mind, you are not a "battered woman" or an "abused man"...the title is beyond your wildest dreams about yourself.
8) YET you know from the core of your being that the moment you leave the danger you currently know will escalate, significantly.
Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as one my think as an outsider looking in. So allow all of your misgivings about doing so come to the surface and sort them out one by one.
You are not alone. Your exit is not simple. But in the long run once out of an abusive relationship, you will breath a sigh of relief and glow from the core of your being.
If you want deeper understanding of what maintains and what prevents abusive relationships, experience the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen?. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals, families and healthcare professionals recognize and end domestic abuse.
? 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D. PreventAbusiveRelationships.com
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