I'm not sure what happened in the past two weeks, unless it is "only" a natural fallout of Xmas, which is always a bad time of year for me.
Imagine floating in a bottle with barely enough air to breathe above. Everything is fine, as long as you still remain. But sometimes you become aware of the limitations of the bottle, the world apart from the bottle, the influences and the bottle with you in this starts to rock. water sloshes you air Chase with growing constantly feeling panic you actually drowning.
Breathe. Trust. Be calm. -Fight, fight and rage against the restrictions? Don't talk about me a guru of peace unless you have spent a night in my bottle, I also wonder, because if the "peace" that only forever trapped in the prison of glass means. If I'm calm and accept, if I can stop fighting and raging (however are harmful for me at times) then surely I will never break bonds, grow or is it free?
The way that I'm on the outside world, the profane respond, is a State of mind. The practice is easy to go from the tragedy in hilarity with only a thought. There are reasons for my irreverent humor.
I think the worst is that I'm guilty of recent incidents outside my bottle of observation, and thought I could control them-something I can affect another thinks or their development path, or correction. I accused of focused too much on other needs to focus and neglect of my own. That makes me sounds very "Christian", "global" – feels very debilitating illness who live in me, because my focus abroad, ignore the rules, the reduction of the other, I deny my self-phrase or dies with no hope of regeneration.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe the aqueous bottle as a matrix that you float up, watching and impatient. A megalomaniac baby (like all babies, convinced the world revolves around them and by them are observed), in the belief that this could be our friends in trouble help when they are not yet born.
And the fight? The fight? As an array, after fighting with my mother, relaxation and walls and protesting nomination my womb? I think I probably: less willing and more hateful to this limited world, Anima Mundi.
A contradictory desire the rest forever in the silent darkness of dreams of the matrix of light, and an instinctive need to continue to try to beat the symplegades my mind.
© StarofSeshat 2011
Posted in abusive relationships, consciousness, healing, illness, depression, know yourself, relationships, meditation, spirituality, paganism, witch, witchcraft | Tagged meditation, spirituality, paganism, magic, Seshat | Leave a CommentBe the first I get this message.
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