Drawn Back to an Emotional Abuser? 2 Tips For Getting Out and Staying Out - Part 1

Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship can be very difficult. Because your partner has pursued an agenda of controlling your behavior, insulting you, and criticizing you, you are likely to be questioning your self worth, competence, and value. You may even be questioning your sanity. Unfortunately, the nature of emotional abuse is that it offers you a skewed perspective on yourself and your value, which it is common to assimilate. It makes sense - if the person who supposedly loves you most thinks so lowly of you, isn't it likely to be true? Fortunately, we know that it isn't. By making some changes and putting some support mechanisms in place, you are more likely to maintain the strength to stay away from your emotional abuser. Here are the first 2 of 4 tips for getting out and staying out of a relationship with an emotional abuser:

1.       Stop all contact with your abuser.   This is very important for your recovery period. Your abuser will continue to use the same tactics that have worked all along - trying to control and put you down. If you have to speak because of children, etc, make sure to stay with the business at hand. If the conversation veers into criticism or the personal, simply disengage, say you need to go, and hang up or leave.

2.      Begin recultivating the "red flag" system you have inside you. We are all born with an innate instinct for survival - yet when we are in a situation where there is chronic emotional, physical, or spiritual danger, we can begin to tune out from the fight or flight response. This can result in physical ills from unreleased stress hormones, and can cause us to stay is harmful situations like emotionally abusive relationships. Spend some time becoming conscious of how your body reacts to certain people and situations - note when you become anxious, fearful, shamed, and tense. Note also when you are around individuals who energize you and cause you to feel comfort and peace and relaxation.   Begin to move closer to the positive experience and away from the negatives.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.