A psychologically abusive, "toxic" relationship can be hard to define. However its effects can be as devastating as physical abuse. Lower self esteem, a feeling of helplessness and being trapped, and depression can result from repeated exposure to this kind of relationship. Fortunately, there are strategies to help you detach from a toxic relationship:
1. Listen to your gut instinct. If you feel badly around your partner, and worse about yourself, be aware this is not normal and should be paid attention to. A healthy relationship has conflict, but it should not leave you feeling awful about yourself on a regular basis. Verbal put downs may be blatant or subtle, public or private, but they are always damaging.
2. Listen to your trusted friends and family. These are the people who love you and know you best. If they express concern about the way you are being treated, pay attention to what they are saying. Remember, if they are people you are happy and safe around, they do not have the agenda to control your life like your toxic partner does.
3. Make advance preparations. If you are considering leaving, be sure you have a plan in place that includes making copies of all important records and documents and getting a credit card and a bank account in your own name. It is important to remove as much of your practical dependency on your partner as you can.
4. Gather professional resources around you. Enlist the services of a reputable attorney, a good counselor, a naturopath, and other support persons who can help you transition from hopelessness to empowerment. This network will help you successfully navigate the emotional and practical hurdles ahead.
5. Keep plans to yourself. Other than your trusted inner circle, keep plans to leave private from your abusive partner. He or she will only try to talk you out of leaving and employ whatever tactic necessary to prevent you from leaving. Remember, the most dangerous and difficult time in an abusive relationship is when you are leaving. If you have any fear for your safety or the safety of your loved ones, please consult with a mental health professional or women's crisis line in your area before leaving.
Relationship problems often go hand-in-hand with depression. For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html
Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.
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