Another new year-you can make a difference here, now

The Prosecutor Carolyn s. Hennecy-

There Is an increase in the Sun this morning on this first day of 2011, and will now be set. Is a new year. This will keep? Change? Innumerable resolutions? Restored relations? Better economy? A closer spiritual walk? There will be no change in the blog of Carolyn here. This is a security.

I have done some introspection on and some inventory of what is happening in this blog and who may have to refresh or change. The decision to put this blog to fully in domestic/intimate partner violence, child abuse, sexual abuse and emotional well-being. There are more links in the list of topics in various magazines, to other websites and I will be a whole page short inspirational statements. It is my strong desire that others will take to check on this page for a little encouragement, incentives or a hand reached to lift you up to a higher position, place of hope, confidence, faith-what you might have even now by the days, that brings you a challenge. In the meantime, look for the upcoming changes! Many will be based on your suggestions and ideas. What would you like to see here? What do you feel helped more in the past?

While you're here, I encourage you to please rate each station that you can read and even if there is only one word, please leave a comment?! More input you can give, the more action is registered and that others may find this blog useful information you might have about violence or his/her spouse abuse, child molestation, etc.

Here is my commitment to those who visit here – will during 2011 a deep desire to reach the masses of the victims and survivors, help them to come out of the miry pit can be buried in, share information that could be their path to recovery emancipation, freedom, and a decent life.

I will also work after the completion of my next book. It contains stories of the survivors and other victims of child molestation, domestic violence, spousal/intimate partner violence, sexual abuse ... the list goes on. You have a life story to share? There is a time in the past that you would be willing to say in an effort to help those by what you did?

However, I can't without ESAs. You can do your part? Give me a shout, your thoughts and questions you recommend the book for the victims fighting the horrific problem making a decision to speak out, to break free.

View the original article here

Workplace Bullies and Intimate Partner Abusers - What's the Difference?

What is the difference between an intimate partner abuser and a workplace bully? Some people think they are the same. But all bullies do not fulfill the criteria for intimate partner abusers, even though they indulge in and enjoy relationship abuse. 

How Are Bullies and Abusers Alike? 

In my work with bullies and abusers, I've recognized that they both use battering to establish and maintain a relationship atmosphere of unequal power. Now this battering can be psychological, emotional or verbal abuse. And, as you know, it can escalate into physical and/or sexual abuse. 

Both bullies and abusers will fail to show authentic empathy toward the object of their abuse. They both will seek to control at all cost, and they will externalize blame to accomplish their end. 

How Are Bullies and Abusers Different? 

Where they differ is in the dimensions of possessiveness and isolation. Abusers are known for their need to posses their partner as though she/he was their property. They will exhibit excessive jealously, bordering on an inappropriate obsession. 

And lastly, the partner abuser will seek to isolate the victim from all sources of support outside of his/her control. This may be financial, physical, emotional, spiritual... 

The bully, on the other hand, doesn't seek to isolate his/her victim in the same fashion or to the extent that the intimate partner abuser isolates their partner. And clearly, the bully will be less likely to cling with possessiveness. To the contrary, the bully doesn't need to own the other person to experience their empowerment. 

A Final Distinction between Bullies and Intimate Partner Abusers 

Intimate partner abusers will bully their abuse partner and may not bully outside of "love" relationships. Whereas, a bully is a bully is a bully in relationships unilaterally. 

If you encounter a bully or an intimate partner abuser, proceed with caution. Seek to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships, so as to avoid becoming an abuse victim or a causality of bullying.

For more information about abuse dynamics, see Domestic Abuse Dynamics. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal for domestic abuse and bullying. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/identify_domestic_abuse.php

Abusive Relationships - What is the Difference Between Being Abusive and Being an Abuser?

What is the difference between "being abusive" and "being an abuser?" I hear this question by people trying to determine if they are entangled in intimate partner violence, even when they don't know this term. What they want to know is: Am I in a dangerously abusive relationship?

I think being abusive is a rather general way of describing behavior that violates you as a person; your rights, your space, your choices, yourself. It can come out of frustration, stress, lowered inhibitions, insecurity, fear, vulnerability, or any combination of the above.

What is an Abuser?

Being an abuser on the other hand, in the classical sense, refers to a person that fulfills a specific criteria. And when engaged in an intimate relationship with this person, a specific criteria of defining characteristics exist which are intimate partner violence.

The criteria for intimate partner violence as it's defined by the literate consists of: possessiveness, controlling behavior, lack of empathy, externalization of blame, isolation of victimized partner, and the use of battering to create and maintain a relationship of unequal power.

How to Know if Intimate Partner Violence Is, or Is Not, in Your Relationship

Many people know this cluster of symptoms, but fail to recognize how they actually manifest in their lives. I have found in working with people over the years that when I bring attention to the subtle relationship interaction patterns in their daily lives, the light goes off for them in a way far more compelling than their simply trying to match the primary characteristics defining intimate partner violence to their relationship.

Further and equally valuable is the fact that people can discover if their relationship fulfills the criteria for intimate partner violence and if it does not. Often people will say they are dealing with an abuser, when the fact is their partner is abusive at times but doesn't actually fulfill the criteria for an intimate partner abuser.

The Value of Knowing Your Truth about Intimate Partner Abuse

Knowing this distinction can set you on a more productive road to remedying your relationship conflict. Without this understanding, you could be pursuing interventions inappropriate to your circumstances and even worse potentially hazardous to your safety.

If you are asking the question, "Am I in a dangerously abusive relationship?" then you deserve to have the answer...if not for yourself for the children that may be a twinkle in your eye today.

For more information about the dynamics of abusive relationships, visit http://www.IsThisAbuse.com. If you want a personal assessment of an abusive relationship, see the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen at http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. ?2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.