Time To Leave Your Toxic Relationship - Abusive Boyfriend

If you have been with your long time boyfriend who is abusive towards you, then it is time to leave your toxic relationship and stop putting yourself through undeserved torture. You are human, and you have feelings and self-worth. Being with some who is abusive towards you will only kill your self-esteem. You can only put up with the behavior for a certain limit but if it takes place constantly, you are only letting the abuse to break you down bit by bit without you realizing it. A relationship is suppose to be healthy, happy and bring out the best in you.

Time will not change him

One thing you cannot do is to change your boyfriend. Nobody can change anybody and if you try, it will only result to a fight or just a temporary result. However, you can change your reaction towards your boyfriend's abusive attitude towards you. Instead of giving in and letting him walk all over you until he is contented, you can change your attitude and stop him from having control when he starts to abuse you.

Give him a chance

You may think it is brutal to walk out on him just because he yells at you or just hit you. That is still unacceptable and you should find a time to talk to him when he is in a good mood. Talk through about what you can and cannot tolerate and why is he hurting you. If he didn't realize his actions, he will take note of what you say and try to control his behavior. If he threatens you, give you excuses like it was just a small deal and continue to behave like that, then you should remind yourself that he's got his chance and he blew it. You have every right to walk out on him.

Be firm

Maybe you are his object of gaining his confidence. If you have given him another chance but he blew it and is begging you to go back to him, don't soften your heart. In fact, to avoid such a dilemma, you should cut off all contacts from him and don't allow you to pester you and make you unsure of your decision.

A relationship is a two way thing. Besides trust and honesty, respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. It is common for people to lose self confidence, developed self-hatred and have distorted view of their self-worth if they had been affected by an abusive relationship. If your boyfriend is taking you for granted and is hurting you, then it is time to leave your abusive relationship.

Lea Anne helps her girlfriends by playing the role of Aunt Agony to help them by giving out her insights on relationship problems.For more of her write ups on dating and relationship advice, check out Healing From Your Break Up and the list of best guides.

Trapped in a Toxic Relationship? - 4 Signs it Might Be Time to Let Go

Relationships require effort, commitment, and love to be successful. With two emotionally balanced individuals who are motivated, a happy, fulfilling relationship is well within reach. However, there are instances where the relationship has an unbalanced and damaging dynamic in place that causes harm to one or both partners. It might feel as if no amount of effort improves things. Certain actions and behaviors on the part of one or both partners can render a relationship a destructive and damaging thing. Here are 4 signs it might be time to let go of the relationship:

1. Abuse. Any kind of abuse is damaging, whether it be physical or emotional. Physical abuse, of course, is extremely dangerous, and if you are in this situation please contact a domestic violence shelter and get professional help to determine the best plan of action for you. If you are being emotionally abused, be aware that the scars may not be visible, the psychological damage is significant. Being constantly told you are inferior, incompetent, or crazy lowers self esteem and can even lead to depression.

2. Infidelity on a serial or ongoing basis. An affair can end up resulting in a stronger marriage if both partners recommit, and much better communication and accountability is put into place. But repeated and serial infidelity takes on almost a compulsive nature and is a different scenario. There is no foundation for a relationship without trust, and you may actually be risking your physical health staying in a non-monogamous relationship.

3. Personality disorders are present. This "hard wiring" of the personality can cause may problems in a relationship. Disorders such as narcissism and sociopathy/psychopathy leave the individual unable to sustain emotional depth and connection with another, prevents lasting change, and contributes to harmful and destructive behaviors.

4. Addiction is present and your partner is unwilling to accept or seek any help for the problem. An addict who is actively using is going to be most preoccupied with getting the next fix and will not be able to prioritize the relationship. The consequences of the addict's behavior may negatively impact you as well, in legal of financial matters (DUI's, accidents, etc). it may be very tempting for you to lose yourself in the relationship, and constantly be on crisis management duty.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Are You in a Toxic Relationship? - 3 Signs the Answer is Yes

Relationships require effort and commitment on the part of both partners to succeed. If both partners are emotionally healthy and balanced, this work goes far in ensuring a mutually fulfilling, supportive relationship. However, there are some relationships in which one or both partners are not balanced or healthy, and in which there is a very unhealthy dynamic. If the relationship becomes emotionally damaging and costly, it can turn toxic. Here are 3 signs that your relationship has reached the point of toxicity:

1. There is any kind of abuse in the relationship. Physical abuse often escalates over time and is extremely dangerous. Please contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor who specializes in domestic violence issues to make a plan to get out of your particular situation. The most dangerous time for women who is with an abuser is at the time of leaving. If there is emotional and psychological abuse, this too can be very toxic and damaging. This kind of abuse, filled with blatant or subtle criticisms, can leave you feeling worthless, inferior, incompetent, depressed, and even crazy. If you feel controlled by your partner, dependent, or as if you can't win your partner's approval, you may a victim of emotional abuse.

2. Your partner is in the throes of untreated addiction. If your partner is not being treated for his or her addiction, you are constantly placed in a position behind their drug of choice. Along with siphoning a great deal of your emotional energy off in dealing with their various substance induced crises, chances are your addicted partner is not fully present in the relationship. On a practical level, you may be setting yourself up for legal and financial troubles from their behavior (DUI's, personal injury, or even murder charges against your partner for killing someone while drinking or drugging).

3. Your partner commits serial infidelity. This act continually destroys all trust between you and leaves you nothing upon which to build a relationship. If you stay in this situation, you are setting yourself up for betrayal and torment. Your mind and energy will constantly revolve around what your partner is doing, who he or she is with, etc. In addition, you are risking your very health staying with someone in a non-monogamous relationship.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Can You Tell If You Are in a Toxic Relationship?

If you are in a loving, healthy relationship you do what you can to help and support your partner. In a healthy relationship you are equal partners and you both have an equal responsibility for making the relationship work. In a healthy relationship you spend quality time together, but you also have your own personal space where you can go of and pursue you interests. Unfortunately not all relationships are healthy, some a highly toxic, so how can you tell if your are in a toxic relationship.

Abusers target the vulnerable. At the start they come across as all loving and caring, the victim often falls in love with them which makes it difficult for them to perceive the abuse because they think that their partner loves them.

There are two ways which pretty much define a toxic relationship and they are emotional abuse, and I suppose you could call it spoiled brat syndrome. Those exponents of spoiled brat syndrome are weak characters, probably low in self esteem, but very selfish and expert manipulators. The whole focus of the relationship has to be centred on them, your needs are immaterial, they require all of your time and energy. If you allow yourself to continue in such a relationship you will lose all sense of who you are. Then of course is the emotional abuse, this kind of abuse is probably even worse than physical abuse because the abuse breaks the victims spirit, their sense of who they are, and leaving them totally dependent on them.

Some abusers will verbally abuse their partners in public and when they are with friends. Some up them come up with the time worn lie that the put down was for their partners own good, yeah right. In a healthy relationship if one partner is unhappy with the other they deal with it in private, not in public. If your partner verbally abuses you in public it shows that they have no respect for you, it also shows that they hold you in contempt. The abuser will probably go on about how much they love their victim, but they need to be able to match their words with actions, if they cannot do that then they do not love you. How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? If your partner controls you and shows you no respect.

The abuser has a whole arsenal of psychological weapons at their disposal to keep the victim under control. They can withhold the love and intimacy that the victim so desperately needs. They put the blame for everything on the victim saying that they do not care or love them, or worse they can have the gall to place themselves as the victim and the victim the one who mistreats and disrespects them. The worst is probably the incessant flow of sarcastic comments designed to break the victim by creating a feeling of hopeless inadequacy in them. Everything is designed to undermine their victims sense of who they are and all that matters is the abusers wants and needs.

The abuser will gradually break the victims contact with friends and family, people who could notice that something is wrong and step in and ruin the abusers fun. The sad thing is, is that unless the victim is prepared to take action there is nothing that can be done, they could even find themselves defending the abuser.

How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship? Have you reached the stage where you no longer know who you are, where your identity is wasting away? What are you like when your partner is around, are you less confident, are your afraid? Have you started to believe all the sarcasm that your partner targets at you, all the put downs all the criticism? When concerned people ask if all is well have you found yourself lying to them and yourself that all is fine? If that is the case then you are in a toxic relationship and you need to leave it!!!

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? If you do not have a life, freedom, a mind of your own, then you need to break free. It does not have to be like this, you are entitled to a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship. No one has the right to decide what you can do or what you can think. It is possible that you could deal with your situation with counselling but the abuser has to agree to it and be prepared to change. If you have children you have to consider the affect that it is having on them. Many abusers witnessed abuse as children, you have to break the cycle and give them a chance to lead normal lives. The difficult thing for the victim is to break free, say enough is enough and I need help, until that happens they will remain a victim. If you are not happy with something or the life that you are leading then it does not have to be like that, you can change it.

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further help and guidance in dealing with relationship problems then my site might be able to help. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.

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