Can You Tell If You Are in a Toxic Relationship?

If you are in a loving, healthy relationship you do what you can to help and support your partner. In a healthy relationship you are equal partners and you both have an equal responsibility for making the relationship work. In a healthy relationship you spend quality time together, but you also have your own personal space where you can go of and pursue you interests. Unfortunately not all relationships are healthy, some a highly toxic, so how can you tell if your are in a toxic relationship.

Abusers target the vulnerable. At the start they come across as all loving and caring, the victim often falls in love with them which makes it difficult for them to perceive the abuse because they think that their partner loves them.

There are two ways which pretty much define a toxic relationship and they are emotional abuse, and I suppose you could call it spoiled brat syndrome. Those exponents of spoiled brat syndrome are weak characters, probably low in self esteem, but very selfish and expert manipulators. The whole focus of the relationship has to be centred on them, your needs are immaterial, they require all of your time and energy. If you allow yourself to continue in such a relationship you will lose all sense of who you are. Then of course is the emotional abuse, this kind of abuse is probably even worse than physical abuse because the abuse breaks the victims spirit, their sense of who they are, and leaving them totally dependent on them.

Some abusers will verbally abuse their partners in public and when they are with friends. Some up them come up with the time worn lie that the put down was for their partners own good, yeah right. In a healthy relationship if one partner is unhappy with the other they deal with it in private, not in public. If your partner verbally abuses you in public it shows that they have no respect for you, it also shows that they hold you in contempt. The abuser will probably go on about how much they love their victim, but they need to be able to match their words with actions, if they cannot do that then they do not love you. How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? If your partner controls you and shows you no respect.

The abuser has a whole arsenal of psychological weapons at their disposal to keep the victim under control. They can withhold the love and intimacy that the victim so desperately needs. They put the blame for everything on the victim saying that they do not care or love them, or worse they can have the gall to place themselves as the victim and the victim the one who mistreats and disrespects them. The worst is probably the incessant flow of sarcastic comments designed to break the victim by creating a feeling of hopeless inadequacy in them. Everything is designed to undermine their victims sense of who they are and all that matters is the abusers wants and needs.

The abuser will gradually break the victims contact with friends and family, people who could notice that something is wrong and step in and ruin the abusers fun. The sad thing is, is that unless the victim is prepared to take action there is nothing that can be done, they could even find themselves defending the abuser.

How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship? Have you reached the stage where you no longer know who you are, where your identity is wasting away? What are you like when your partner is around, are you less confident, are your afraid? Have you started to believe all the sarcasm that your partner targets at you, all the put downs all the criticism? When concerned people ask if all is well have you found yourself lying to them and yourself that all is fine? If that is the case then you are in a toxic relationship and you need to leave it!!!

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? If you do not have a life, freedom, a mind of your own, then you need to break free. It does not have to be like this, you are entitled to a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship. No one has the right to decide what you can do or what you can think. It is possible that you could deal with your situation with counselling but the abuser has to agree to it and be prepared to change. If you have children you have to consider the affect that it is having on them. Many abusers witnessed abuse as children, you have to break the cycle and give them a chance to lead normal lives. The difficult thing for the victim is to break free, say enough is enough and I need help, until that happens they will remain a victim. If you are not happy with something or the life that you are leading then it does not have to be like that, you can change it.

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further help and guidance in dealing with relationship problems then my site might be able to help. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.

http://www.reviewthemagicofmakingup.com