Abusive men come in all forms. Some abusive men only verbally abuse, other abusive men only physically abuse. There are abusive men who verbally, physically, mentally, sexually and financially abuse their partner. They need to feel in control and because of feelings of inadequacy inside themselves, they abuse their partner to feel powerful and in control. They ensure they gain these feelings of power and control by abusing their partner in any way which works for them.
Abusive men are nice at the start of the relationship but work fast to gain control of you. They will subtly isolate you from your friends and family and lower your self esteem. Never give up any of your friends or family. These men isolate you from them because it is easier to control you. Abusive men cannot handle others getting attention from you. They feel jealous, insecure and powerless if they do not have every minute of your time. These men cannot handle these feelings. They do not know how to express this in an acceptable manner so they lash out. By hurting you, the abuser will gain control of the situation and feel good about himself. He does not care how you feel or how much he hurt you in order to feel good. Any sign of remorse is because he is afraid you will leave him, not because he feels bad about hurting you.
Abusive relationship signs are sometimes overlooked because we are not made aware of what the meaning of an abusive relationship truly is. Some of us believe that it is only physical abuse which would indicate an abusive relationship. There are five main abusive relationship signs. These fall into the categories of verbal, physical, mental, sexual and financial.
Abusive men will lightly verbally abuse their partner first. They will make out as though they are joking. If you laugh at or overlook any name calling or put downs which come out of his mouth, you are only making him believe that it is ok to call you names. Making fun of your beliefs, habits or attitude is part of mental abuse. You are entitled to your own beliefs regardless if others share them or not. Abusive men constantly pick on the littlest things because it is making them feel good about themselves.
Physical abuse is an obvious abusive relationship sign. Physical abuse can come in the form of pushing and/or being hit or kicked. Disrespect of your body or your property in any form is how abusive men try to control you. Sexual abuse is being forced to have sex against your will. Just because he is your boyfriend or husband does not give him the right to your body if you do not feel responsive. Gentlemen do not force their partner to do anything that they do not want to do or make them feel bad for refusing sexual advances.
Some abusive men will limit their partner's access to money. This is financial control. Abusive men only give their partner enough money to ensure that they stay close. If they give out too much money then that gives the opportunity for their partner to leave them. So, they limit their partners allowance to ensure they cannot be abandoned.
The abusive relationship signs are easy to spot once you know what you are looking for. Never make excuses the first time you see any of the abusive relationship signs. Making excuses such as he did not mean it or he has been drinking only encourage him to continue and to escalate the abuse because you stayed the first time he showed abusive behavior. There is no excuse for abusive behaviour and being the victim of abuse is not because you did anything wrong even though abusive men would make you believe that. They are the one with the problem and the only way to deal with an abusive man is to not have him in your life. Abusive men do not change. They have abused the women before you and they will abuse the women after you.
Christina Glass (Bachelor of Arts (Psychology & Women's Studies) & (Diploma Professional Counseling)) is a Professional Counselor, specializing in the personality type's of men which women should avoid at all costs!! For help, tips and advice on Abusive Men please visit http://www.dontcallthatguy.com for a greater peace of mind.
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