The relationship seemed so nice at first. You were a happy couple. You were two friends for life. Then things slowly changed. Or you grew up in the relationship and it has always been this way. Either way you know that it is not quite a healthy relationship.
Are your other relationships disappearing?
If the only relationship you have is with just one person then something is not healthy. Perhaps your friend or partner tells you what is wrong with other people until slowly it becomes only the two of you. This results in you slowly being cut off from your friends, family and others. This way when there are problems you have no one to turn to for support.
Do you trust each other?
While a little jealousy may be harmless, constant jealousy is damaging. This results in one person attacking and accusing the other of things when they are not together. There is no trust because at some level the unhealthy emotionally abusive relationship is known, and one or both of you may fear that realization.
Are demands unrealistic?
By setting demands high they become unreachable. This allows for failure so the blame game can start. The insults, belittling and remarks of being stupid, incapable and other remarks fly. Slowly confidence and ego are destroyed allowing for greater control by the abuser.
Do you do anything to keep the peace?
If a conflict terrifies you, then your relationship is far from healthy. While many people dislike conflict, if it means hours of fighting the something is not right. A healthy relationship means sharing and compromise. This is a person who wants ultimate control.
Are you allowed to be an individual?
Just because you are in a relationship with someone it does not mean you should like all the same things. You may not like the same food, you may have separate hobbies. You should not have to pretend to like something or do something you do not want to keep the peace.
Are there threats, violence or force used?
Just because you have never been hit does not mean it is a healthy relationship. Abusing animals can escalate to you. Threats, acting like they are going to hit you, and forcing control over you are all signs that things will are not good. The forced control may be emotional, mental, physical, or sexual.
How do I get out of the unhealthy relationship?
Getting out of the relationship can be hard. This type of relationship is full of super highs and super lows which can become addictive and obsessive. It can also be terrifying getting away from that person. If your support structure was destroyed in the relationship you may not feel like you can turn to anyone. True family and friends will be there. Look for support groups. You deserve to be loved for who you are. You deserve a healthy relationship.
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