What's an Unhealthy Relationship? Part 1

While many people desire a meaningful romantic relationship in their lives, not all such relationships are created equal. A healthy relationship is mutually loving, respectful, and fulfilling for both partners. When both partners are emotionally well balanced and committed to each other, with good communication a happy relationship can be achieved. However, sometimes individuals bring personal issues into the relationship that can prove destructive to the other partner and the relationship. When damaging behaviors in a relationship interfere with the emotional, spiritual, or physical well being of either partner, the relationship becomes unhealthy and toxic.

Most people recognize that physical abuse, rampant drug or alcohol abuse, or affairs can cause significant damage and harm the traumatized partner in such a relationship. However, there are more subtle forms of emotional abuse (which can escalate to physical abuse). If you are feeling inferior, incapable, worthless, or crazy with your partner, this merits a closer examination into the true relationship dynamic. Sometimes emotional abuse is characterized by name calling, but it can also occur with repeated "suggestions" about how to do all manner of regular daily tasks "right."

One common aspect of emotional abuse is that it is designed to control the other party. You might be discouraged or prohibited from seeing certain people, dissuaded from pursuing new job or employment opportunities, coerced into sex (or denied affection), or "required" to give an account of your daily activities. In all cases, your partner is motivated by a desire to control your behavior and keep you dependent in the relationship.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Unhealthy or abusive men techniques for solving

A new article is posted on Shrink4Men. com.

Guilt and anger: what abuse women calls solve explores maladaptive new mechanisms by abusive men used to resolve conflicts and to compare with those of children emotionally immature and unstable.

by Dr. Tara j. Pal Matt Irishman, PsyD

View the original article here

Unhealthy Relationships - How to Recognize If You Or Someone You Love is in One

The relationship seemed so nice at first. You were a happy couple. You were two friends for life. Then things slowly changed. Or you grew up in the relationship and it has always been this way. Either way you know that it is not quite a healthy relationship.

Are your other relationships disappearing?

If the only relationship you have is with just one person then something is not healthy. Perhaps your friend or partner tells you what is wrong with other people until slowly it becomes only the two of you. This results in you slowly being cut off from your friends, family and others. This way when there are problems you have no one to turn to for support.

Do you trust each other?

While a little jealousy may be harmless, constant jealousy is damaging. This results in one person attacking and accusing the other of things when they are not together. There is no trust because at some level the unhealthy emotionally abusive relationship is known, and one or both of you may fear that realization.

Are demands unrealistic?

By setting demands high they become unreachable. This allows for failure so the blame game can start. The insults, belittling and remarks of being stupid, incapable and other remarks fly. Slowly confidence and ego are destroyed allowing for greater control by the abuser.

Do you do anything to keep the peace?

If a conflict terrifies you, then your relationship is far from healthy. While many people dislike conflict, if it means hours of fighting the something is not right. A healthy relationship means sharing and compromise. This is a person who wants ultimate control.

Are you allowed to be an individual?

Just because you are in a relationship with someone it does not mean you should like all the same things. You may not like the same food, you may have separate hobbies. You should not have to pretend to like something or do something you do not want to keep the peace.

Are there threats, violence or force used?

Just because you have never been hit does not mean it is a healthy relationship. Abusing animals can escalate to you. Threats, acting like they are going to hit you, and forcing control over you are all signs that things will are not good. The forced control may be emotional, mental, physical, or sexual.

How do I get out of the unhealthy relationship?

Getting out of the relationship can be hard. This type of relationship is full of super highs and super lows which can become addictive and obsessive. It can also be terrifying getting away from that person. If your support structure was destroyed in the relationship you may not feel like you can turn to anyone. True family and friends will be there. Look for support groups. You deserve to be loved for who you are. You deserve a healthy relationship.

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