Understanding Your Troubled Relationship - 2 Ways You Can Save It

If you are in a relationship where you feel confused and lost, you probably need to learn ways of understanding your troubled relationship so that you can decide to save it or abandon it. Sometimes when we are too caught up in the events of our lives and relationship, we tend to lose sight on what is important to us and what are bad for us. So here I will help you understand your troubled relationship and explore if there is a way to save it.

#1: You are in an abusive relationship

I am not being biased here but usually when people are in an abusive, physical or emotional, relationship my advice to them is to get out of it if they have not or abandon it if they are already out. Because if your partner is abusive, it is very difficult for him or her to change in the short term. These abusive behaviours are imprinted in them every since childhood so for them to change for the better, the both of you will need a huge amount of time, effort and perseverance to make things work out.

However, if your choice is to stay with the man or woman of your dreams. It isn't impossible for things to work out well. And like I said, you need to have plenty of patience, tolerance and perseverance during this process because it is likely that you may still get abused during this period of time.

How you can save it is to let your partner know that if this relationship is ever going to work out, he or she has to promise that he or she will change. (In words and in actions) Let your partner know that changing and taking away their abusive self is the only way you will make peace with the past and carry on living happily together. With that said, do not simply rush back into the relationship. Take things a day at a time and let your partner show you that he or she is really repentant about his or her ways before getting back together with your ex. This could take months or years for you to feel their sincerity but since they are the ones who hurt you, it is their duty to constantly assure you (in words and in action) that they have changed for the better.

When you feel ready to accept them again, it is time to accept them. However, I must let you know that there is a possibility of their abusive nature to suffer a relapse and you have to be prepared for it.

#2: Your partner is not that into you

If your partner is not that into you, it is a rather tricky situation to handle. Because you cannot control how your partner feels and to get back that special feeling with him or her will be difficult. The symptoms when your partner is not that into you is when your partner is always busy with 'work' but is still able to make time for his or her friends. Or when your partner is always tired and puts in less effort when talking to you or when the both of you are having sex.

What you can do to save the relationship is to be the one that is just continue being yourself and appreciating every moment you have with the person. Because as I've mentioned earlier, you cannot control his or her feelings and the best you can do is to appreciate any little sweetness in the relationship.

With that said, it is not the end of your relationship! Even if your partner decides to or is thinking about a breakup with you there are additional ways you can save it.

Did you know there are proven techniques for stopping a break up?

Don't make the mistake of relying solely on what you already know to guide you. If you love your partner, do your best to make your partner stay. Start by watching an informative video - that tells you the exact things you need to say and do to win your love back - by CLICKING HERE NOW: http://winningloveback.info

Abusive Relationship - The Power of a Diagnosis in Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse

The value of the diagnostic label has more to do with the way it impacts the person with the condition than anything else.

Can you remember a time in your life when you had a medical condition and you received a diagnosis that immediately lifted the weight off your shoulders and sent you to remedy your condition. My sense is the "propelling one into remedy" can happen no matter what the diagnosis. This is what I call the power of the label.

Before we give a specific condition a name, it is a vague cluster of symptoms that may or may not seem related. In the medical world, one may either self-diagnose or seek professional care to receive or substantiate a diagnosis, and from here obtain a definitive treatment plan.

The confusion in self-diagnosis when psychological denial is involved

When it comes to psychosocial conditions, diagnosis becomes even more clarifying and ultimately remedy starting, especially for conditions in which the defensive mechanism of denial plays such a large part. Here's why.

The mechanism that supports the condition is not part of the determination of the condition. Consequently, the process of identification is not as likely to be sabotaged.

For example, as a domestic abuse survivor, we all know the power of rationalization. So let's say we are looking at a laundry list of symptoms characterizing intimate partner violence. What happens?

We may say, oh yeah this is going on in my relationship and mentally check that item. Then go to the next and again see the second item alive in our relationship. And as each item looks familiar, a little light starts to go off saying I'm in an abusive relationship!

But quickly to the rescue is our psyche defense ready to serve and protect our ego. And it says, well he/she called me a "whore" because he was jealous of my receiving attention at the party last night.

And compounding his jealousy, making it express itself in this way, was his inward vulnerability in the moment...as I know he has been hurting over losing his job. (Look at the exquisite analysis, rationalization and justification in play here.)

The value in diagnosing psychosocial conditions objectively

This is a common response to filling out a checklist or reading a laundry list of domestic abuse symptoms. Our defensive mechanisms that serve to protect us and our loved ones will more often than not keep us blind and confused. And of course with this, leaving us without direction for a remedy nor motivation to repair our circumstances.

I can't stress the importance of putting the natural self-serving defenses to rest when you are seeking to know if you're in an abusive relationship. Getting a definitive, objective diagnosis can put you in the "stop-guessing" mode and into the "start-treating" mode in moments.

For more information on how to diagnose an abusive relationship, visit http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com. Dr. Jeanne king, Ph.D. helps people properly identify intimate partner violence, and end and heal from domestic abuse. ?2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Understanding Abusive Relationships - 5 Benefits of Learning to Identify Intimate Partner Abuse

If you have read my writing, you may know me as someone who encourages people to recognize intimate partner violence. But, I wonder if you know why I'm so steadfast about this.

Learn to Meditate Is Like Learn to Mate

I'm reminded of the days when I taught biofeedback and meditation to individuals in my psychotherapy practice. It seemed like no matter who walked through that door, whether they had high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, migraines, insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks or depression, I always opened the door for a discussion that ultimately led to three little words: Learn to Meditate!

People came into my practice wanting symptom reduction and walked out of my practice with life enhancement on top of symptom reduction. I'm telling you this little story because it's the same with my pervasive message of: Learn to Identify Intimate Partner Violence.

The Benefits of Learning to Identify Intimate Partner Abuse

Let me elaborate. You see, it's not only that you will be better able to recognize a bully or identify your circumstances as fulfilling the criteria of intimate partner violence or not. Oh no, it's much more than that.

When you learn to identify intimate partner violence, here's what also happens over time.

1) You know how to prevent an abusive relationship from developing

2) You know how to arrest an abusive relationship in the moment

3) You know how to avoid abusive relationships before they begin

4) You bring into focus the flip-side of partner abuse, and from here you can clearly pursue it

5) Ultimately for most people that's exactly what they want...a loving intimate relationship characterized by mutual honor, respect and support.

If you have the occasion to understand this dynamic and plan to have an intimate relationship, you owe it to your self to understand the silent insidious syndrome of intimate partner abuse before it sneaks up out of nowhere and catches you by surprise.

For more insights and information about identifying domestic abuse visit http://www.IsThisAbuse.com and claim your free Survivor Success Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. ?2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.