Friday, April 1, 2011

Learn now!

So, when everything will be there and say that I really don't like to men too. In fact, I'm pretty comfortable in saying that I hate them. Now there are all essential. If you knew me, you will not be blamed for feeling that way (see your account if you are seriously). But here's the problem. I would really love to find another day. And I would really be a satisfactory, long term relationship. So, how the past behind them and all the pain and learn to leave to just to look ahead.

I'm good at pretending that I'm curious. Your smile, laugh, and I know that your work really nobody know what happens. Pain, anger, fear ... I have anger? I think it may be the most important thing to let the anger go. ... And I'm not necessarily angry what happened to me in the past, or the lost time I spent with men who are not only not really me, but I treated as shit. Because I think that I am who I am today, I am just because experience in the past have had. And I think my wish. Myself I love me so much better in my 40 with's 20 with me. But ultimately, I think that's not really say much because I don't have my back than wanted.

Here is what angersThelw me … the bad men from the past can hurt as much as I did. My head, I have created this image they get along just fine. That their life so hunky dory (love that Word) and which are not older pain or any remorse for their deeds and so just feel both their lives contently. Now, reality check …I know that this is not the case. Get the first hand, I know that Mr Douchebag # 5 by means of an important legal issues now will be. So his life cannot be large, right? But that does not satisfy me. I wish to hurt. I want to go to jail. I read every word on the matter of minutes for the following process and makes me angry. As I just read that they are more likely to give you a call. And that me furious. I want to in prison. For a long time. This is a very big boy … that kids will love it. But actually I feel better? Why can't you just leave now it came to pass? Why even thinking? Why monitor event (one of these days, we will share what is on trial, a very scary)? I know that you will find it more satisfying to me as I am about forgetting it when I hear that you go to jail for 20 years. So why can't I do myself?

I haven't blogged for a while and I'm not sure what you want to another on this issue tonight. Rather because I went on another date. The doctor (the same weekend). It is amazing. In one, as amazing as it may be a good guy, what concerns me, kind of way. And I feel like it has potential. For the first time four years (by Mr. # 5) I feel like a man potential. But I'm afraid it will hurt. Because you just can't let the past go.

How do I start healing? How do I start my life again? I suppose I never really have lived my adult life by some kind of abuse is physical or produced ... so how do you even know how I can have a normal life? How can I learn like décède ... and most importantly, how do I know if I get enough to get myself to be loved and cared for, by a man. I do not know how to do it. But I really want to learn!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged abusive relationships, anxiety and panic attacks, dating, domestic violence, dysfunctional relationships, healing after abuse, relationships, single mothers | Leave a CommentBe the first I get this message.

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