Too often people think of abuse as physical or sexual. However abuse can happen emotionally, mentally, and verbally. No matter what the form abuse is not something that should be accepted, however sometimes the signs are hard to see.
Why is it hard to see abuse?
Often abuse in relationships start with minor comments. The comments get bigger working into the self esteem of the victim. Abusers twist emotions around to blame the victim, verbally berate the victim or attack the victim's mental health and ideas.
What do abusers use?
Abusers may use several forms abuse to wear down their victims. Sometimes they use the emotional, mental and verbal abuse to start with and work their way up. Relationship abusers who never hit their victims, yet the damage can be as bad if not worse.
How can it be worse?
Maybe you sang on the playground, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." How nice it would be were that true. Unfortunately words can leave scars that will never be seen and never heal. The victim can take years if not a lifetime working to heal the damage of being told "You are worthless."
Why does someone accept abuse?
Abusers start small. They will apologize profusely for abuse that crosses a line. Unfortunately the victim typically accepts the apology and with it the line gets a moves a little in the abusers favor. This gives the abuser a little bit more room for abuse.
Molesters do not wear an ugly mask. They wear a shield of Trust. Patty Rase Hopson
What happens that people accept it?
Abuse in relationships has a way of whittling away at self-confidence and esteem until very little if any is left. The victim may become a hollow shell of the person they were. Each day they go through the motions of living, but joy of living slowly evaporates.
What are the signs of abuse in relationships?
While physical abuse may have bruises and cuts, other forms do not. Abused people seem afraid to upset their partner or overly eager to please. Abusers may try to isolate the victim, this helps further diminish self-esteem. A major change in personality, a once social butterfly becomes withdrawn or a bubbly person becomes aloof is another sign.
What can I do?
If you are in a relationship where you are constantly being insulted then you should end the relationship. A friend of yours has started apologizing over everything large and small, then they may be in an abusive relationship. Be supportive of someone who is or was in a abusive relationship, the scars that exist you may never see, but they take a long time to heal.
How can you recover from abusive relationships?
The answer is not simple. The most important is to realize if you are abused, it is not your fault. The abuser made a choice to be abusive. You do not deserve being abused. If you know someone abused help them remember these two points. Finding someone to talk to can be very beneficial. Everyone has a different way of dealing with pain and abuse. People have different ways of working through problems.
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