Saturday, August 28, 2010

Verbally Abusive Relationships - Is A Relationship Abusive Even If They Don't Hit?


"I can't be in an abusive relationship - they've never raised a hand to me."

Does this sound familiar to you? Maybe this statement or something similar has been said to you by a friend, or a relative - or maybe even yourself. It's easy to try to justify a destructive relationship as "not actually abusive" simply because the person has never resorted to physical violence, but does that really exclude it from the category of "abusive" relationships?

The answer is "No."

Relationships can fall into a number of categories without ever involving physical violence - for instance, verbally abusive relationships.

Verbally abusive relationships occur when one of the partners is constantly berating and belittling the other partner. This can involve insults, name calling, yelling, or sarcasm. In many instances, the relationships are mutually verbally abusive, meaning, both partners are verbally abusive to one another.

Even if a relationship is "merely" verbally abusive (as opposed to physically), it can take a tremendous toll on a person's spirit and be incredibly destructive to be a part of. Day after day of listening to derogatory comments about yourself, expressed in the most hostile and vitriolic tones possible, eats away at a person's self image. Then when that turns to year upon year of listening to a constant barrage of verbal abuse, there can be damage done to a person's self-concept that could be irreversible.

If you have a loved one (including yourself) who is involved in a damaging, destructive relationship with someone who constantly degrades them or yells at them, encourage them to seek help before it escalates. They may believe that it will never escalate to physical violence, and the truth is that it might or might not.

The point is, that it doesn't matter if it escalates or not. The damage is being done right now, one hateful word at a time.








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