Thursday, August 12, 2010

How to Recognize the Signs of an Abusive Relationship


It isn't always easy to recognize an abusive relationship until it has come to a stage where the abuse turns physical and then the signs are quite obvious. Constantly bruised and blackened eyes, red and blue scars all over the body and especially on the arms, swollen or split lips are just a few of the more visible signs of someone is being physically abused. Most women however tend to make excuses and explain the scars away by insisting that they slipped in the bathroom or fell down the stairs for the simple reason that they somehow feel ashamed to disclose what is going on inside the house.

There are different types of abusive relationships such as emotional abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse. Unfortunately, by the time abuse has reached a physical level, there is very little anyone can do apart from breaking away from that abusive relationship completely. An abusive relationship mostly starts with one party withdrawing himself thereby making the other person feel that he or she has done something wrong. He will stop discussing the events of the day or talk and laugh the way he used to or start coming home late everyday or look and act irritated whenever a question is asked until the other party will start feeling lonely and uncared for.

If no one takes steps to remedy this initial situation, the abuser will start shouting at his partner or belittle her by criticizing her relatives or friends, or the food she cooks, telling her she's good for nothing and making fun of her accomplishments and even worse, making fun of her in public or cracking crude jokes or insulting her in front of friends.

Unfortunately the partner, will feel that it's her fault that all these things are happening and start to lose whatever confidence she has in herself resulting in her becoming depressed and afraid of her husband.

Although it's mostly women who are the main victims of an abusive relationship, that's not to say men are not victims of abuse. There are many men who suffer at the hands of a domineering, abusive woman and its worse in the case of a man because society does not accept the fact that a man can be abused to such an extent and therefore the man feels too ashamed to come forward and talk about it.

An abusive relationship is mostly due to insecurity and lack of emotional strength. If the parties involved in an abusive relationship were to look back at their life styles, they might see a pattern emerging where they themselves were abused as children or were children of parents who were in an abusive relationship or had drug or alcohol problems. Children who are sexually abused by their own parents have a lot of trauma in their lives and while they bury their dark secrets in their subconscious, the past comes out to haunt them one way or other resulting in a vicious circle that keeps on repeating.

Surprisingly however, the abused and the abuser will not take any steps to put an end to all this and breakaway. It seems as if one cannot do without the other. You could say that the abused has become a glutton for punishment for she will keep on forgiving her tormentor who will promise to change and things will be alright for a while until something triggers the abuser to start it all over again.

Ideally, it would be best if both parties can recognize the problem right at the start and get the help of a counselor or family friend to sort things for them. Unfortunately however, by the time they realize that things have gone too far, it's too late for change or reconciliation and the only alternative left is to make a complete break and part ways.








Christine Crotts is sick of having to run to the store and buy an expensive roll of wrapping paper for every gift that she has to give. Christine has written a site containing reviews on wrapping paper storage, as well as the photo storage boxes.


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