Damaging Relationships - 3 Signs the Relationship Should Be Over

Relationships are challenging even when both parties are healthy and well balanced. A successful relationship in this case can be achieved through effort and commitment on the part of both parties. There are relationships, however, where no amount of effort on your part will prevent the damaging effects of staying with your partner. There are toxic scenarios where the best thing truly is to end the relationship. Here are 3 signs that your relationship should end:

1. There is abuse in the relationship. If you are being physically abused, please contact a domestic violence shelter or a counselor who specializes in that issue to get advice. Physical abuse typically escalates, and the most dangerous time is generally at the time of leaving the relationship. You will need guidance on the safest plan for exiting your particular situation successfully. If you are being put down, made to feel inferior, incompetent, or crazy, there is a good chance you are being emotionally or psychologically abused. In this case, the effects may not be as outwardly noticeable, but they are extremely damaging. Loss of self worth and depression frequently results.

2. There is untreated, active addiction in your partner. Your partner, if actively using drugs and/or alcohol, is not fully present in the relationship. The substance will always win out over you, and you are likely to end up in a cycle of crisis management with your partner that may leave little mental energy for you to focus on your own life, dreams, and ambitions. You may be impacted by legal and financial trouble if your partner ends up prosecuted or sued for behavior while intoxicated (like a DUI). You may even be in physical danger if, for example, you get in a car with your partner who has been using, and you have an accident.

3. Your partner commits serial infidelity. It is possible for a relationship to become stronger after an affair, if both parties are willing to work hard, open lines of communication, and be accountable to one another. However, if there is a pattern of unfaithfulness, there is no opportunity for trust to be rebuilt, and there is no foundation for a relationship. In addition, you place your health at risk by staying in a non-monogamous relationship.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship

You'd think it would be simple enough to know if you are in an abusive relationship. Everyone has a clear idea of what domestic violence looks like. Most of the time, they would be right in their assessment - except, perhaps, when assessing relationships that are exclusively mentally, and emotionally, abusive.

Most of the time you would be right in your assessment or whether or not a relationship is abusive except...

When it comes to your own.

There is a widespread, dangerous, tendency to underestimate the importance of mental and emotional abuse. Because a degree of verbal abusiveness is commonplace in our society, it is interpreted as "normal".

In reality, being common doesn't make something normal, or acceptable. Being common doesn't make it any less deplorable. But, on the interpersonal level, we all tend to minimize the importance of bullying, hurtful, or destructive words and behavior.

How does that pan out in intimate abusive relationships?

It means the abused party in the relationship takes the longest time to realize the true nature of their relationship.

Nobody ever wants to believe that "it" has happened to them. The first law of abusive relationships is this: "abusive relationships happen to other people, less fortunate than me, a long, long way from here."

Sign 1

That brings us to the first sign. You spend a fair amount of your time justifying your partner's behaviour to other people, and telling yourself that things really aren't all that bad. Perhaps it's not that bad because at least he doesn't hit you; or, perhaps, he only hits you when he's drunk, or really angry; or, maybe, he only treats you like dirt every once in a while.

And that makes it almost okay... doesn't it?

And almost okay is almost good enough...

Or, at least, that's what you try to tell yourself.

That line of argument is correctly called "minimizing". It requires you to ignore, deny, or underplay the seriousness of your partner's ill treatment. At the same time, you exaggerate his charms, his qualities, and the love you share - allegedly.

(As a general principle, when someone treats you like their worst enemy, it suggests that whatever love there was has become pretty threadbare.)

Sign 2

You feel as if you are walking on eggshells a lot of the time.

Your partner's mood can change, in the blink of an eye. When it does, things get ugly, emotionally and/or physically. Of course, when that happens, it's all your fault. You provoked your abusive partner by overstepping the mark. You know that because he told you so.

In fact, he tells you that every time he explodes. That's why you're walking on eggshells. Somehow, you never manage to get it right for terribly long. If only you could, you would earn his love and appreciation - allegedly.

Sign 3

You've put your own life on hold.

In an abusive relationship, you spend your life trying to please your partner - or, at least, trying not to displease him. The net result is that his feelings, wishes, and responses become much more important than your own.

This is the deal: your abusive partner expects you to fit your life around his. If that means you don't have much of a life, then so be it. As a woman, your most important role is to service your partner. That's his belief, and you tend to agree with it. All you would like is a little acknowledgement, and the occasional sign of affection.

You expect to sacrifice yourself for your children. You see that as normal. It becomes difficult when you have to juggle his needs and the children's.

He has to feel that he is the priority, at all times - which leaves you with no time, or energy, to look after yourself.

Sign 4

You really don't believe you could ever manage without him.

In an abusive relationship, your partner tells you how inadequate you are, over and over again - that's what makes you so incredibly lucky to have him.

That's what he tells you; and that's what you come to believe.

So, you end up disliking yourself as much as he dislikes you. And you end up believing you are as inadequate as he says you are. Which means you end up relying on your abusive relationship for your very survival.

That's why you feel stuck, with no room for manoeuvre, between a rock and a hard place.

Sign 5

You've become a shadow of the woman you once were.

You don't laugh any more. You don't have friends you let close to you - because you wouldn't want them to know what really goes on. Besides, you have probably forgotten how to let someone get close to you.

You're anxious the whole time. Perhaps you abuse food, or alcohol, or feel depressed most of the time. Certainly, you feel drained and empty.

The worst thing is you've stopped dreaming. You've stopped envisioning a future in which your dreams, hopes, and ambitions will ever come true.

You've stopped hoping for pretty much everything - apart from him turning back into the man you fell in love with.

Your life has become an emotional desert. But still you might be asking yourself: "Is this emotional abuse?"

If you recognise the signs, you're in an abusive relationship

If you recognise the 5 signs, rest assured not only are you in an abusive relationship, but it's taken a severe toll on your emotional health. Your abusive relationship has left you feeling weak, worthless, and unlovable. That's exactly what an abusive relationship is designed to do. An abusive relationship exists to satisfy the craving for power and control of the abusive partner. That's bad news, certainly, but it's not hopeless.

Let the 5 signs of an abusive relationship, finally, sound the alarm for you. However bad it's been, and however long it's gone on, you're not too late to get out, get over it, and create a joyful life for yourself.

If you've been stuck in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship, leading Emotional Abuse Recovery Expert, Dr Annie Kaszina, can help.

Annie has given many hundreds of women, worldwide, the courage to make changes in their life, believe in their own value, trust their own judgements, and create healthy relationships for themselves. Find out more and sign up for your free 7 day e-course: "7 Things You Need To Know To Truly Heal" at: http://www.RecoverFromEmotionalAbuse.com

Trapped in a Toxic Relationship? - 4 Signs it Might Be Time to Let Go

Relationships require effort, commitment, and love to be successful. With two emotionally balanced individuals who are motivated, a happy, fulfilling relationship is well within reach. However, there are instances where the relationship has an unbalanced and damaging dynamic in place that causes harm to one or both partners. It might feel as if no amount of effort improves things. Certain actions and behaviors on the part of one or both partners can render a relationship a destructive and damaging thing. Here are 4 signs it might be time to let go of the relationship:

1. Abuse. Any kind of abuse is damaging, whether it be physical or emotional. Physical abuse, of course, is extremely dangerous, and if you are in this situation please contact a domestic violence shelter and get professional help to determine the best plan of action for you. If you are being emotionally abused, be aware that the scars may not be visible, the psychological damage is significant. Being constantly told you are inferior, incompetent, or crazy lowers self esteem and can even lead to depression.

2. Infidelity on a serial or ongoing basis. An affair can end up resulting in a stronger marriage if both partners recommit, and much better communication and accountability is put into place. But repeated and serial infidelity takes on almost a compulsive nature and is a different scenario. There is no foundation for a relationship without trust, and you may actually be risking your physical health staying in a non-monogamous relationship.

3. Personality disorders are present. This "hard wiring" of the personality can cause may problems in a relationship. Disorders such as narcissism and sociopathy/psychopathy leave the individual unable to sustain emotional depth and connection with another, prevents lasting change, and contributes to harmful and destructive behaviors.

4. Addiction is present and your partner is unwilling to accept or seek any help for the problem. An addict who is actively using is going to be most preoccupied with getting the next fix and will not be able to prioritize the relationship. The consequences of the addict's behavior may negatively impact you as well, in legal of financial matters (DUI's, accidents, etc). it may be very tempting for you to lose yourself in the relationship, and constantly be on crisis management duty.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - Be Very Quiet

You don't get the full gist of it in the beginning of the relationship. And as far as your significant other is concerned you are not supposed to. If you did than the chances of you still being in the relationship would drop considerably.

So they went about sweeping you off of your feet and did their best to hide their true nature. It worked because you fell in love with them and decided to make a go of things.

But you cannot shake the thought that everything is not what it appears and that includes your significant other. At times you can feel the tension but you are hard pressed to explain why it hangs in the air.

Are you in an abusive relationship but just don't know it yet? There are signs that may be pointing in that direction.

1. Their Rage

We all get angry but when you significant other loses it they really lose it. There are periods during their ranting and raving where they seem totally out of control. Besides what they wind up getting angry about is so trivial in nature that you have a hard time comprehending why something like that would them off.

2. Post Rage

Your significant other has cooled off. Everything appears to be back to normal but you can tell from their body language they are still peeved. Hours or even days later they still have not gotten over it. You make an effort to talk about it but that just sets them off again. There also does not seem to be any self reflection or remorse. In their opinion, they are right and anybody who cannot see that is blind or just plain ignorant. As time goes on their feelings toward whatever set them off start to harden even more.

3. Waiting For the Storm Again

How does their rage make you feel? Do you brush it off as one of those things that you are prepared to handle if it happens again or do you feel yourself whether intentional or not walking on egg shells? If it makes you afraid to the point that you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself openly then there is a problem out there which could get a lot worse.

For more information on abusive relationships please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.

Abusive Relationship Signs - Endlessly Inadequate in the Presence of Your Abusive Spouse

"When you walk through that door, my time becomes your time." Sound familiar?

The question I have is, "Is it good or is this bad?" That could go either way depending on how you experience yourself when you are with him...when you give to him...when he wants from you...when he gives to you.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may notice that you step out when your abusive spouse steps in. It may be that you believe you need to be "all about him" when he shows up, because being about you could come with punitive consequences.

Being a Bad Person in the Presence of Your Abusive Spouse

He may only be content with your catering to him. And moreover, he may have demonstrated that no matter how much you give, it will never be enough...because he can always find something that is wrong.

He actually finds some pleasure in showing you that you are deficient...defective...inadequate. You are the absolute furthest thing from perfect being just as you are.

So, you find yourself jumping through the hoops of what you think he will want you to be, until you tire and wish deep inside that he would just go away.

Being a Good Person in the Absence of Your Abusive Spouse

Then, you observe yourself basking in ease when in his absence. You catch yourself enjoying not having to live up to his endless demands, judgments and expectations.

You stumble upon your rightness for simply being you. You discover the good person that you are. And from here, you seek to protect this good soul from him.

So when he walks through that door, you set her aside and your time becomes his time...but for the wrong reasons. This makes you resent his being there and inspires your desire for him to stay away.

Being That Good Person in the Presence of Your Abusive Spouse

What would it take for you to be that good person in his presence? What would you need from him? And, what would you need from yourself?

If you are asking these questions, you could be a candidate for an abusive relationship therapy overhaul. You and your abusive spouse could both benefit from finding the way to have you be that good person in his presence. Invariably this will open the door for you and your partner to break the cycle of intimate partner abuse.

For more information about abusive relationship therapy, visit www.DomesticAbuseCounseling.org and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from spousal abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

Does Love Have to Hurt? - 3 Signs it May Be Time to Let Go of the Relationship

We all enter a romantic relationship hoping it will be an addition to our lives, something that will help us grow and be more successful, an experience that will be loving and supportive. Unfortunately, not all relationships serve this function in our lives. With effort, good communication, and commitment, many well balanced and healthy individuals so go on to forge these kinds of relationships with another - but there are certain behaviors that make a satisfying union nearly impossible. While change can be possible for motivated individuals, for partners of people who engage in destructive behaviors as a pattern, the safest and healthiest course of action may be to remove yourself from the relationship. Here are 3 signs it may be time to let go:

1. There is abuse in your relationship. If you are being physically abused, this is very dangerous and is likely to escalate. Please contact a counselor that specializes in domestic violence issues, or a domestic violence shelter to help you come up with a safe plan to exit the relationship. The time of leaving a physically abusive relationship is a very risky time and you need professional guidance. If you are being emotionally abused, this is also very serious and damaging. If your partner seeks to demean and control you as a pattern of behavior, leaving you feeling inferior or even crazy, you may be a victim of emotional abuse.

2. Your partner is actively engaged in an addiction, such as drugs or alcohol. If your partner is actively using, you will be on the back burner as your partner seeks to feed the addiction. There are likely to be repeated crises related to your partner's addiction, and frequently your partner will simply not be fully available in the relationship. You can be impacted by legal and financial fallout, such as DUI's, personal injury, and even charges related to a death if it is caused by poor judgment while your partner is using. You may be endangered if, for example, you get in a car with your partner after he or she has been using, and you have an accident.

3. There is repeated infidelity in the relationship. While a relationship can survive infidelity if both partners are recommitted and improve communication and accountability, if your partner continues to destroy trust and cheat, there is no foundation upon which to build a healthy relationship. You are likely to be consumed by the emotional damage that continues to accumulate. In addition, you are risking your own life and health by continuing to be sexually intimate with someone who is acting out sexually with others.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Are You in a Toxic Relationship? - 3 Signs the Answer is Yes

Relationships require effort and commitment on the part of both partners to succeed. If both partners are emotionally healthy and balanced, this work goes far in ensuring a mutually fulfilling, supportive relationship. However, there are some relationships in which one or both partners are not balanced or healthy, and in which there is a very unhealthy dynamic. If the relationship becomes emotionally damaging and costly, it can turn toxic. Here are 3 signs that your relationship has reached the point of toxicity:

1. There is any kind of abuse in the relationship. Physical abuse often escalates over time and is extremely dangerous. Please contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor who specializes in domestic violence issues to make a plan to get out of your particular situation. The most dangerous time for women who is with an abuser is at the time of leaving. If there is emotional and psychological abuse, this too can be very toxic and damaging. This kind of abuse, filled with blatant or subtle criticisms, can leave you feeling worthless, inferior, incompetent, depressed, and even crazy. If you feel controlled by your partner, dependent, or as if you can't win your partner's approval, you may a victim of emotional abuse.

2. Your partner is in the throes of untreated addiction. If your partner is not being treated for his or her addiction, you are constantly placed in a position behind their drug of choice. Along with siphoning a great deal of your emotional energy off in dealing with their various substance induced crises, chances are your addicted partner is not fully present in the relationship. On a practical level, you may be setting yourself up for legal and financial troubles from their behavior (DUI's, personal injury, or even murder charges against your partner for killing someone while drinking or drugging).

3. Your partner commits serial infidelity. This act continually destroys all trust between you and leaves you nothing upon which to build a relationship. If you stay in this situation, you are setting yourself up for betrayal and torment. Your mind and energy will constantly revolve around what your partner is doing, who he or she is with, etc. In addition, you are risking your very health staying with someone in a non-monogamous relationship.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

The 10 Tell-Tale Signs That Your Daughter is in an Abusive Relationship

How do you know if your daughter or son is in an abusive relationship? Deep down inside you know your relationship with her has changed. What puzzles you is how and why...

Here are some tell-tale signs that she is in an abusive relationship.

1) You feel her pulling back for no apparent reason.

2) You are given excuses rather than contact.

3) The door to her home and her life is closed to you more often than not.

4) You see her awkwardness when she delivers directives that appear to be the wishes of her partner.

5) You observe her to be less of herself in her partner's presence.

6) She projects a presence of "being enlisted" rather than being herself.

7) Her happiness is very much tied to her being and doing as her partner wishes.

8) You notice she makes excuses for his behavior.

9) It's apparent that her interest in protecting her newly found shrine exceeds her desire to be your family.

10) Your grandchildren are protected parties, rather than your flesh and blood.

Your adult child's marriage was expected to enhance your family, not diminish it. You wonder what you can do and how you can penetrate the barriers put before you.

If you are the parent of a daughter or son that appears to be involved in an abusive relationship, don't throw the baby out with the bath. And don't become a bull in a china shop.

By this, I mean don't give up hope of having her in your life and you in hers. And don't boldly confront your suspicion, as this will strengthen the wall between you. Seek professional help to guide you into and through what challenges both of you.

For information about helping your daughter or son in an abusive relationship, see Stop Abuse before it spirals out of control. Dr. Jeanne helps individuals and families recognize and end intimate partner abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/helping_stop_abuse.php

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

10 signs of an abusive partner

Tell someone: 10 surprising draw an offensive Guy Dating

Posted: 05/7/11 11: 16 AM ET

I must be crazy to hook up with an abuser, right? This is what I thought, but after our relationship work history violence for six months, was shocked by how smart and cool women who received the victims. The thing is, these guys are super charmers, Oscar-worthy performance of Mr. dream Dude — at least they while your wooing. And then, when your madly in love, they got together, ka-bang their true colors, violent initiation.

The good news: there is clear risk had a man is a abuser before a fist ever — and start with your only with a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach. Because the possessiveness and control are significant red flags, Cindy Southworth, a Deputy in the national network against domestic violence, this little test: "breaking down a date at the top, where it is all hot and heavy, and tell him your girlfriend needs. If it says, "I'm disappointed, but I understand, ' great. But if it is, ' I can't wear apart ", or makes you feel guilty, put your friend or angry, it's not a good omen!"

Here are some other red flags from the Southworth and all of the Group of experts on the national network against domestic violence, both for you and — in case you're worried about a friend — to:

Note If your man:

Both are crazy for you who wants to settle in once you meet. Creepy, is really jealous. (This should be uncomfortable if you go away for the weekend with your ex-boyfriend, but if your flirting denounces is a red flag). Attention so much that sometimes texts, your outside. I do not believe that friends and family that enough, or even altogether.
Also watch out if: are tired you always because your keep night. I always explain to the people "not gonna." your concern if you have a few soars minutes late – you know how angry he is. Things is always your own fault. You can find many apology emails or makeup gifts from him. You won't find anything without him or without him for approval.

Run as:

!! You can find out who had a violent relationship with an ex-girlfriend. !! This mischoys — at work, online, with GPS in your car. !! He defeats a friend or a punch-out in a row. !! Was never cruel with animals. !!! It is, of course, never violent.

And if you're worried about a friend? Could the problem as:

Started by saying that it doesn't come on things that you invite can (because it must be with her boyfriend). When you're with her, always on edge about returning messages immediately or leave to meet him. Have bruises or scratches can not explain this or tells the result of an accident. This stops doing things that she loved before the appointment of guy — hobbies, shopping, school and even work. Just the feeling of your loss.

You or a friend ever experienced any of these warning signs?

***** Liz Brody is editor at large glamour. More information about the relationship between violence and join the glamour said someone campaign to safely keep women now.

View the original article here

Healing Emotional Abuse - Signs, Symptoms & Help For Relationship Problems

It's the cycle of abuse. Abusers always have a history of childhood abuse. They don't mean to pass it on and they would do better if they knew how. Whether you are the abuse victim or perpetrator, you must make a decision to stop the cycle of dysfunction now. Yes, the spider web of abuse is huge, but it can be healed.

Signs of Emotional Abuse:

- Unrelenting criticism

- Yelling

- Intimidation

- Sulking

- Manipulation

- Refusal to be pleased, no matter what you do or say

- Neglect

- Abandonment

- Denies you outside friends or hobbies

- Insists on going everywhere with you

- Negates your opinion

- Won't support your success

It's easy to see if you have been affected by emotional abuse, because the effect of abuse warps personalities.

Symptoms You Have Been Emotionally Abused:

- You are afraid to state your opinion for fear of retaliation.

- You've slowly stopped doing things you enjoy.

- If you miss a phone call, text message or email, you hurry to respond, hoping to avoid a fight.

- You have been ignored or rejected as a "punishment" for your behavior.

- You agree to things just to avoid a fight.

- You report where you are, who you are with and what you are doing.

- You've never received an apology, even when you've been right.

- You take the blame & responsibility for other people's unhappiness or problems.

- You suffer from low self esteem.

- Believe jealousy is proof of love.

Many people think emotional abuse only happens in love relationships, like boyfriend to girlfriend or husband to wife. But domestic abuse is not the only hot bed of pain. Emotional abuse can be seen in child abuse, elder abuse, between friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors and just about any combination of two or more people.

Solutions to Emotional Abuse:

- If you are involved in an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind, get out now. And don't go back until professional help is sought and completed by both of you. Sharon is a woman whose health was severely compromised as a result of working in a department where her co-workers shunned her, made fun of her, lied about her and gossiped about her lack of success and brains. Several times she did report abuse, but her immediate supervisor, as well as the human resources department, did nothing to help her. No paycheck in the world is worth this kind of treatment. Sharon was so beaten down from years of this abuse that she finally gave up and quit her job, before she ended up in the hospital. So, get away from the abuse immediately.

- Stop the abuse by calling for help. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Let the cycle of abuse stop now and RUN for help. Not another day of abuse needs to be a part of your life.

Professional Psychic & Certified Behavioral Therapist, Kathi Calahan, helps lovers heal their relationship by identifying the underlying problem and providing workable solutions, even if they're thinking of throwing in the towel. Her free newsletter American Love Psychic - How to Grow Old Together is available at http://www.AmericanLovePsychic.com.

Recognize the Signs of a Male Relationship Abuser

Relationships all start beautifully - two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children. Especially for women, they always think that being with the one who sweeps her off her feet or who makes her heart flutter is always The One. However, this is not always true for all. Yes, some have succeeded, and yet there are still those many couples who do not succeed in keeping the love alive. Most often, after the "honeymoon" stage in a relationship, some people change - for the worse.

Sometimes, you might be inclined to say that these relationship abuses happen only in women who lack the necessary education. Truth is, even highly educated and well-accomplished women undergo the same thing as well.

Men who abuse women in whatever way are often thought of as sexist - probably thinking that males are better than females. A study conducted by experts show that most men who abuse women were themselves abused in their younger years. Thus, there is always the question about trust. These men may have confidence in their partners, but when they believe that their trust has been violated, in their mind, they think they have no other option but to resort to violence and abuse (whether physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual).

Since it is strongly believed that childhood experiences may have played a role in turning these men into abusers, it is possible that in their younger years, they have seen that in order to make women follow their whims, women should be subjected to physical pain. In some cases, abuse is also a reaction or a form of rebellion against females especially when the male had a negative experience with his mother. Unconsciously, he rebels against his mother through his partner especially when he sees some similarities between the mother and his partner's attitudes.

What are the signs that would tell you your partner is an abuser?

Some men initially show charm and care that women's hearts melt and inevitably, fall into the trap. Following are some indications that would tell you your man could be an abuser.

- He tells you sob stories about how a previous relationship ended and how his girlfriend broke his trust. Watch out if he has had several failed relationships.

- He is overly jealous and possessive of you that even the time you spend with your family and friends become an issue for him.

- He has a pompous attitude towards you - thinking that you are incapable of making your own decisions. This is due to his desire to control you and your actions and to make you feel dependent on him.

- He has a haughty outlook about women and believes that women are brainless.

- He has mood swings such that one time he is so sweet towards you, and abusive the next minute.

- He has unrealistic expectations of you and when he thinks you have "failed", he becomes very disillusioned about you for not meeting his expectations.

- He thinks that there is nothing wrong with the way he is treating you.

Bear in mind that men who are abusive by nature hardly ever change how they view things. You can try to slowly introduce him to the concept of him undergoing therapy, but get ready as well with the tirades that will be coming from him. If you see it's not going to change ever, then consider taking charge of your life and move on.

Amy Marie Chan also writes articles on baby boys shoes. See her most recent write-up about squeak shoes here.

Signs of an abusive relationship: every woman needs

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? Have a great relationship suddenly seemed to sour? How to tell if your risk for abuse? If you prevent you becoming one of the millions of women who are verbal, emotional, and physical abuse each day, there are some signs that you should look for.

Excessive control

It is common for men to women in relationships. Fortunately, modern people learned that women have the same rights as men, and that no person has the right to determine what another person says or does. One of the first signs of an abusive relationship is tight in the hand.

If you feel you are now blocked by the see family and friends, and if her husband or friend Act jealous and possessive about your personal relationships are isolated and checked. This is a very damaging form of emotional abuse, and often gets worse over time.
If you account for every penny you spend, and his wife asks you to do so or refuses, you can shop for things that you need, you are potentially financially controlled. A budget is agreed on one thing-but control is one of the entries in the realization of an abusive relationship.

Anger and guilt

Additional indications of an abusive relationship is absurd anger and constant error. If your spouse or friend tend to irrationally angry with you, especially about the things that are completely outside of your control, are you in danger. If you are to blame for things that don't go as planned, you need to understand that your situation worse could be very quickly and easily.

An explosive temper, is not normal. People who love each other kind and forgiving. All other treats as good friends and have respect for the limits. If anger and blame your relationship poisoning, got you've to do something about it.

Threats

Threats of physical violence is showing some signs of an abusive relationship. People form relationships and more. If the spouse or a friend threatens to hurt you, your children or pets, or if he threatens to destroy your belongings, it's time to take action to stop him.

Physical violence

Every form of violence or physical manifestation of anger are signs of an abusive relationship. If your spouse or friend things bumping things abuse of animals or abusing you breaks, then find a way out.

How to stop an abusive relationship

Living in an abusive relationship is difficult and painful. All the signs of an abusive relationship filled with negativity and hate. Although often feel terrible for things that the abuse of, and although often driven by a lifetime of abuse patterns, are not entitled to exploit other people or animals.

Immediately getting Help-make sure that you and other members of the family, pets, including a angry abuser is safe. Looking for students for marriage-is a good place to start is with online marriage counseling, especially since it is often quicker and easier to talk to someone right away. If your relationship is worth saving can be difficult, but a therapist is trained to help you cut through the muddy waters of emotional upset and make a rational decision that will help you make the most of your future and win happiness in your life to help you decide.

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This article has been contributed by Tina Jones of the unforgettable Team publishing woman. This works in conjunction with founder Alexandra Fox and writes articles dating/relationship to women. You can find more information about unforgettable woman visiting the publish Web site.

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Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship? What are some signs of emotional abuse? Look for these suspicious behaviors which may be symptoms of a dysfunctional relationship, perhaps destined to become abusive.

Your partner ridicules you when you express yourself.
Your partner isolates you from friends and family.
Your partner limits your access to work, hobbies or money.
Your partner criticizes you, humiliates you and undermines your self worth.
Your partner has destroyed or threatened your property.
Your partner seems hot and cold in personality; very close then very distant.
Your partner steals from you or runs up a lot of debt.
Your partner makes you feel trapped in the relationships and afraid.
You feel as if you can't discuss anything with your partner.

There are also codependency symptoms to look for including:

Partner tends to be over-giving.
Partner must be in control at all times.
Partner finds needy people to care for.
Partner has an overactive sense of responsibility.
Partner feels victimized by the selfishness of others.
Partner tries to be all things to all people and has a problem setting boundaries.
Partner feels restless or bored when not involved in a crisis.
Partner looks for drama and chaos in life and then complains about it.
Partner gets angry when someone refuses help or ignores advice.
Partner is easy offended.
Partner tends to become self-righteous and a perfectionist.

It may be fairly obvious now that you are involved in either a codependent relationship, which may be fairly tolerable, or an abusive relationship, which is nearly impossible to live with. Your first reaction may be one of fear and anguish.

"But I love her!"

"But I can't live without him!"

These are common responses from partners accustomed to living with an abusive mate. These are not healthy responses, however. You have to treat abusive behavior like a mental illness, because it frequently is motivated by a partner's personality disorder. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean they are entitled to hurt you physically or jerk you around emotionally. You must work on your own self-esteem and improve your self-image before you can break this vicious cycle of behavior. Why? Because people with low self-esteem tend to tolerate abuse. They may subconsciously feel that they do not deserve a stable relationship. So they seek out doomed relationships in order to confirm their suspicions: that they're just going to screw up again.

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Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - How to Find Out Before Its Too Late

Lynne Gold-Bikin is the founder of Family Law's Commission on Domestic Violence. She tells the New York Daily News, "A victim is often alienated from friends and family by the abuser, and if someone says something to her about the abuse, she may not listen."

It could be any number of reasons why they refuse to listen. It can be anything from love to just complete and effective manipulation by the abuser. If the abuse victim does finally realize what is going on trying can prove to be very dangerous.

The relationship may start off as love and romance personified but it is crucial that you be aware from the beginning of any potential signs of an abusive relationship.

1 Where Did You Go?

It was never really a problem in any relationship you had. It was understood that both parties from time to time need their space. Not this time. Your significant other wants to know your whereabouts at all times. And they are very insistent about it.

2. Who Were You Talking To And Why?

They see you talking to someone they do not know and now here comes the cross examination. What were the two of you taking about? Your significant other's body language and tone of voice lets you know they are very upset.

It can even be someone they know but they are angry because they did not "authorize" you to carry on a conversation.

3 They Decide and That's Final

In certain matters you have no problem with your significant other taking the lead and making a decision. They seem to enjoy it and its no sweat off your brow.

However on those rare occasions when you do make a suggestion about what to do and where to go they do not take it well. Either they sit there stewing and adamantly refuse to do what you suggest. Or they fly into a rage and explain in very strong terms that the two of you are going to do exactly what they want and they need no advice from you or anyone else when it comes to making decisions.

For more information on abusive relationships please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.

Warning Signs of Your Abusive Boyfriend - Are You a Victim?

"Gosh...!! Look at him, how charming and considerate he is! He is the only one that I have ever desired." This is what we usually think when we come across someone who is charismatic and thoughtful. And we end up falling head over heels in love with him knowing very little of the demon that he has inside him.

We would overlook his jealousy and possessiveness thinking to be his way of expressing, how much he wants me and loves me, feeling on top of the world, until the day all hell breaks lose and we get to see the other side of him. We come in touch with someone, whom we have never known, a complete contrast of the person we had deeply fallen in love with. And standing right, there we see our world, which we have weaved with utmost love and care falling apart.

Thus, we begin to doubt about our safety and security in the company of that person, in whose embrace, we once found warmth and comfort. So, before taking the extreme step, knowing the person and his character traits is important, so that we don't end up spending our lives with an abuser in an abusive relationship.

Here are a set of questions which would help you to identify the personality and character of your boyfriend, whether he is likely to become an abuser or not :

1) Does your boyfriend often get jealous of you, your friends, your career and your success? Does he get jealous whenever you talk to your male friends? Does your boyfriend often accuse you of having an affair with others?

2) Does he try to dominate you to the extent of controlling on deciding what you wear and how your hair style should be? Does he treat you as if you are inferior to him? Does he force you to consider him to be the top priority of your life and obey him?

3) Has he ever abused you verbally in front of his friends and family? Does he go to the extent of hitting you for no fault of yours? Does he often threaten you with death?

4) Has your boyfriend ever committed violent crimes against others which may prove fatal? Has he ever thrown or strike or hit objects at you? Is he violent towards children and animals?

5) Does he isolate you from your friends and families? Does he always blame you for his faults and bad luck? Does he always make you feel that you are at fault? he might try to make you feel guilty for no fault of yours.

6) Is he addicted to drugs or alcohols? Sometimes a person becomes violent when he is under the influence of drugs and began to hurt others.

7) An abusive person often has a dual character. He might pretend to be very soothing and understanding than he really is in front of others.

8) His mood fluctuates every now and then. And he gets angry very fast and is generally very aggressive.

9) At one moment he will make you feel on top of the world and in the next minute he would demoralize you and throw you in a trash can.

10) He may forcibly let you do something which you do not want to do. For example he might use his physical strength to prevent you from leaving the room or may even force you to have sexual intercourse.

If you see these traits in your boyfriend's behavior then most likely your relationship is heading towards an abusive relationship. And you need to seek help and guidance from Professional counselor. You need to pay attention to the warning signs however whether you want to continue staying in the relationship or end it abruptly is going to be your own decision.

Now, after going through all the warning signs that your boyfriend is abusing you, what you need is the guidance on how to tackle with such a situation. So, here are the tips on, how to end an abusive relationship.

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Signs of an Abusive Relationship - Can Be Difficult to Analyze Or Describe Because of Confusion

There are many signs of an abusive relationship I will be highlighting here.

Before I go into the signs of an abusive relationship I want to make a point I think is very important.

Often these days we hear that abuse in relationships is just as likely to be perpetrated by women as much as men. As such some think it is unfair to focus on men as the perpetrators.

To put this in perspective let us look at some of the abusive relationship statistics that are well known.

Firstly, we know that at least 1 in 3 women throughout the world is in an abusive relationship.

Secondly, 3 women are killed every day in the States by a partner/ex-partner/cohabiting male. In Australia 1 woman is killed every 5 days. Only yesterday a woman and her daughter were found dead at the bottom of a cliff near Sydney having been thrown there by her husband.

At least 5000 women and girls are killed each year in so called 'honor killings', often after having been raped by a member of their own family.

Countless numbers of women are terrorized by partners/ex-partners every day.

Women are raped regularly by husbands/partners/boyfriends. It is often not seen as being rape but this is what it amounts to as many women are afraid of what might happen if they don't 'come across' as it were.

These abusive relationship statistics highlight the reality that men are more likely to be the perpetrators and women the victims.

To suggest that women are just as likely to be abusive in a relationship as men is not accurate. It is what I would call a 'red herring', that is to say it takes us away from dealing with the real problem and arriving at a solution.

That is not to deny that there may be occasions when women are the perpetrators in an abusive relationship.

I find, when you start looking at relationships, there are so many signs of an abusive relationship as there is such a wide range of abuse.

In this section I want to focus on the signs of an abusive relationship that do not include the physical abuse. My purpose for doing this is that when discussing abusive relationships it is the physical abuse that gets focused on more often than not to the exclusion of other abusive behavior.

Often the person on the receiving end does not detect the abuse as it can be difficult to analyze or describe. This can be especially so when they have been told repeatedly they are the one at fault.

This can lead to confusion and lack of confidence and believing that the one being abused is somehow responsible.

I recall seeing a woman as a client at one stage whose husband was an ogre in the home. He was not physically violent but he treated her and their two children appallingly. Early on in the session I said to her "it has nothing to do with you."

From that point on she was transfixed, and even though we talked of other things, she came back to me several times during the session and said "you mean it has nothing to do with me?"

She had been convinced by him that she was at fault and that is why he treated her and the children so badly.

Other signs of an abusive relationship are when women are put down in all sorts of ways. They are told they are no good in bed, no good as cooks, no good as mothers etc.,etc.

They are told they are sluts, whores, bitches, nymphomaniacs.

When men demonstrate they think they can do whatever they want with no regard for their partners, these are signs of an abusive relationship.

I believe not sharing in domestic and parenting responsibilities is unfair and constitutes signs of an abusive relationship.

I was speaking with a woman recently, who teaches at an elite school, and she told me her highly paid professional ex husband who abused her in a range of ways, never cooked once during their eleven year marriage.

Men who are aggressive by means of tempers, anger or moodiness, demonstrate signs of an abusive relationship. Also when all sorts of threats are made. Such as threats to kill the woman or kill himself if she were to leave.

Throwing objects, slamming doors very forcefully, punching holes in walls etc., are signs of an abusive relationship.

There are so many signs, I could go on and on. Another one is where women are isolated and cut off from their family and friends. Their whereabouts is questioned all the time.

The question often asked is, "why are so many men like this?" In my view the answers given a lot of the time, are not very helpful.

Signs of an abusive relationship are a manifestation about the belief that males are superior to females and can treat them any way they want. Any other explanation is totally inadequate.

Leo has been a counselor for twenty years dealing with a range of issues with clients. During that time he has dealt with relationships primarily. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on relationships to a broad cross section of people in the community, including other counselors, doctors, nurses, police, politicians, church groups, to name a few. He has also been interviewed by all sectors of the media about aspects of his work. He is the author of "How To Have An Extraordinary Relationship." His website is http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com

10 Signs of Emotionally Abusive Relationships

The signs of a physically abusive relationship are usually pretty easy to see. The actions that define an emotionally abusive relationship, however, are far less clear. How does a man or woman in an emotionally abusive relationship quantify actions that don't leave physical marks? How does someone in a relationship that leaves them uneasy and uncomfortable justify that feeling to themselves or to another? The sad truth is that many times, a man or woman in a relationship with someone who is emotionally abusive may not even understand that she is being abused. There are, however, signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. If three or more of these signs describe your relationship, you may want to learn more about emotional abuse and how it can affect you, your children and your life.

Note: Emotionally abusive relationships come in all shapes. While the word "partner" is used in these signs, it could just as easily be "parent", "child" or "friend". While women and girls are more often the victims of emotional abuse in partner relationships, boys and men are also often victims of emotional abuse. Gender pronouns are used simply as a convenience.

1. Do you find yourself "tiptoeing on eggshells" to avoid making your partner angry?

2. Does your partner frequently ridicule you in front of others and accuse you of having no sense of humor if you object?

3. Does your partner criticize everything you do? Has he ever told you that you're "lucky to have him" or made you feel that no one else could love you?

4. Has your circle of friends and acquaintances seemed to dry up since the two of you have been together? Do you have no friends outside the relationship?

5. Do you have to account for every moment you spend away from the house? Does he or she constantly accuse you of flirting with others when you weren't?

6. Does your partner blame you for his angry outbursts? Is it "always your fault" when something goes wrong?

7. Does your partner control all the finances? Does he control your access to money, work, friends or transportation?

8. Has your partner threatened to hurt herself if you leave, or if you don't do what she wants?

9. Has your partner ever threatened or implied that he would hurt you or your children? Has he threatened to "take your children away" or made comments like "you'll be sorry" or "you don't know what I'm capable of doing"?

10. Do you feel afraid, helpless or angry most of the time?

Though there are no physical bruises visible in emotionally abusive relationship, however the scares left from such abuse lingers for years in some cases. And the worse of all, it can sometimes lead to psychological and mental health issues.

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Emeka Ezidiegwu is an author of several romance and relationship publishing. If this article informed you, please feel free to visit us at: http://www.cupidmaster.com/emotionally-abusive-relationships.php for more related and interesting articles.

11 Signs of Verbally Abusive Relationship

Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can scar you forever. While some forms of verbal abuse are easy to recognize, others are more subtle. It isn't always easy to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, but knowing the different masks that verbal abuse wears can help.

1. Withholding is one of the most subtle forms of emotional and verbal abuse. A withholder avoids discussing his thoughts, feelings, opinions and other parts of his life with a partner. The partner may feel lonely and rebuffed without understanding why.

2. Trivializing is a way for abusers to gain superiority. By trivializing their partners' accomplishment, abusers belittle their partners in a way that leaves the partner feeling that somehow it was her own failure of communication rather than a deliberate act.

3. Discounting a partner's reality is another way that abusers belittle partners. An example of discounting is the partner who responds to "I'm cold" with "No, you're not. It's 70 degrees in here."

4. "Jokes" that belittle or make fun of a partner are another subtle form of aggression. This includes "funny" insults, telling embarrassing stories or any other way of making a partner the butt of a joke. If anyone protests, the abuser passes it off as "just a joke. Where's your sense of humor?"

5. Criticizing and nitpicking is designed to make the partner feel as if he or she can't ever do anything right. Even "compliments" are backhanded, as in "Well, at least you didn't use too much salt this time."

6. Accusations are potent ammunition for verbal abusers. When the abuser puts his partner on the defensive by making accusations, he holds the upper hand in the conversation and relationship.

7. Diversion allows the abuser to shift the subject away from any conversation and turn it into an argument. When an abuser responds to "Are there any cookies left?" with "Are you saying I eat too much?" she is diverting the conversation.

8. Name calling is one of the most overt symptoms of a verbally abusive relationship. Affectionate pet names are one thing, but hurtful names like "Tugboat Annie" or "Hey, dummy" are always verbally abusive.

9. Undermining is a way of detracting a partner from a goal or activity. A verbally abusive partner may respond to their partner talking about a new diet with "Why bother starting when you know you'll just cheat anyway?"

10. Ordering a partner to do things is often a sign of an abusive relationship. In equal relationships, a partner says, "Would you get me a glass of water?" rather than "Bring me a glass of water."

11. Threatening is another verbally abusive behavior that is designed to control a partner. The threats may be explicit, as in "If you don't do this, I'll leave you" or implied, as in "There are a lot of other women out there, you know."

Verbal abuse comes in many different forms, times and places, but the worse part of abuse is when people are abused by those who claim to love them. Don't encourage abusive behavior in your relationship, because if do, you could become a victim of something more serious than abuse.

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Emeka Ezidiegwu is an author of several romance and relationship publishing. If this article informed you, please feel free to visit us at: http://www.cupidmaster.com for more related and interesting articles.

7 Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Let's be very clear about this: most people who are victims of domestic violence think that domestic violence happens to other people, not to them.

There are many reasons why people, more commonly women, stay in a toxic relationship way too long. Mostly, they stay as long as they do because they aren't even aware that what they are experiencing is domestic violence. They tell themselves it isn't domestic violence because of any, or all, of the following:

a) They are middle or high income - and they know that domestic violence is something that only affects the people at the very bottom of the social heap.

b) Their partner doesn't hit them.

c) Their partner only hits them when he has been drinking.

d) He is a well regarded member of the community, or church.

e) That was what they witnessed in the home, when they were growing up.

f) Their partner repeatedly tells them that something they did, triggered his behaviour.

g) He may apologise, seem sincerely sorry, and vow that it won't happen again - although it always does.

h) Their partner tells them that they are 'too sensitive' and are exaggerating the importance of their fights.

These are only some of the reasons why victims of an abusive relationship tend to doubt their own feelings.

In reality, domestic violence affects people of all races, religions, and social and economic groups.

Nor does the violence have to be physical to qualify as domestic violence. Any relationship in which one partner is consistently hurt - emotionally and/or physically - by the other is a relationship of domestic violence. A relationship in which humiliation, criticism, superiority, contempt and fear are consistently visited on a partner is a relationship of domestic violence.

Never underestimate the power of words to inflict damage. I have heard many, many mentally, emotionally abused women say: "Ah, but it can't be domestic violence, because he doesn't hit me". What they don't realize is that their fear of receiving a tongue lashing from their partner is every bit as effective a weapon of control as is the threat of physical violence. Their partner may choose not to hit, for his own reasons, but he has no qualms about using words to intimidate and brutalize.

Brutal words cause as much enduring damage to the mind as physical violence ever causes to the body.

But, you may still be wondering if this information applies to you. If you are like most abused women, you will be saying: "Yes, but, my partner is really not that bad. He loves me really..." Maybe he does still tell you that he loves you from time to time, to keep you on side. An abusive partner will declare their love occasionally, especially when they feel that they may have pushed you too far.

The real clues to whether or not you are in an abusive relationship lie with you and your feelings. So let's take a quick look at some of the key indications that you are in an abusive relationship.

Walking on eggshells. Most of the time, you feel like you are walking on eggshells. You know that it doesn't take very much for your partner to become angry and pick a fight with you. You spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep him happy, yet he can find fault with you about absolutely anything. You can never guarantee getting through any situation whatsoever without him finding fault with you.


You constantly obsess about him. An abused woman tends to lose sight of herself: she spends her whole life worrying about her partner's mood, his behaviour, and whether or not he loves her. In their mind everything is about him, not about you.


You are generally unhappy. If you are in an abusive relationship, you will laugh rarely, because you have a very heavy heart. You view your life as a difficult, painful affair that you feel powerless to change, much as you try. Misery has become your default state.


You feel bad about yourself. You spend your time either blaming yourself, or wondering if everything that happens is your fault - and therefore you should blame yourself. Your partner has trained you in this pattern by blaming you for anything and everything that goes wrong in his life. You end up disliking yourself as heartily as he dislikes you.


You shoulder the responsibility for the entire relationship. It takes two people to make a relationship work. It takes two people to do the work in a relationship. A functional relationship is all about reciprocity, or mutuality, if you prefer. It is about two people caring for each other, supporting each other, actively, and sharing. One key indication of an abusive relationship is that one partner spends time desperately trying to make the relationship work, while the other spends the time taking it apart.


You are constantly minimizing, denying and excusing. You manage to find a number of "reasons" to explain and excuse his behaviour: stresses at work, a difficult childhood, bad past relationships... You also tell yourself that things are not really that bad. In fact, you have become so good at denial (that is, lying to yourself) that you can manage to overlook his contempt, his affairs, his meanness, his ill treatment of the children, his bad behaviour with other people. Even when you find yourself actually apologizing for him, you still tell yourself: "It's not that bad."


You give up on your own life. You give up on yourself, and your own right to happiness, fulfillment and even your own interests. You tell yourself that "it is all over for you", and that staying is the best thing for the children. You put yourself a very poor second to him in everything. You come to believe that you have nothing to look forward to, and that you would be lost without him. In reality, you have lost sight of yourself with him.
Does any of this sound like you? If it does, you are in an abusive relationship. You may still be hoping that if you just pour enough love into your abusive partner, then one day, he will finally return that love. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. The reasons why your partner stays with you, and treats you the way he does, have little, or nothing, to do with love.

The good news is that it is not too late for you to get out, build a more rewarding life for yourself, and provide a better role model for your children - if you have children.

If you would like to walk away from the skewed, wretched world of abuse, hold this thought: a much, much better life awaits you. Only take action, take that first step, and you can grow your self-esteem, create a happy life for yourself, and find the fulfillment you deserve.

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship? Annie Kaszina is a leading expert on Accelerated Healing From Emotional Abuse, who has created some of the top books and materials in the market. Her compassionate, supportive has helped many hundreds of women to find a way out of their abusive relationship. Can you imagine yourself moving beyond the pain and the hurt and starting to feel like the valuable person that you are again? Find out how to by starting with Annie's FREE REPORT on how to break out of your abused mind-set and heal the trauma, once and for all.

You can get Annie's Free Report "The Seven Things You Need To Know" and sign up to Annie's free bi-monthly ezine by visiting http://www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com. You can email Annie at: annie@EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com.

Facts About Abusive Relationships - Recognize the Warning Signs Before It's to Late

Abusive relationships are a very difficult situation for any person to find themselves in. The facts about abusive relationships are not as well known to people as they should be. Abusive relationships can be verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and/or physically abusive. Victims of abuse are typically women, but men are increasingly reporting abuse. All forms of abuse occur in all ethnic or socio-economic groups.

Warning Signs

Some of the warning signs of a person who can become abusive are people who feel wronged by world, feel that everything is everyone else's fault, have a history of physical aggression, who have significant issues of anger management, have a history of drug or alcohol abuse, or feel special entitlement to preferential treatment from others.

Escalation of Abuse

Typically, the abuser begins by controlling the victim's time, relationships, and money. The abuser will complain about the time and attention that the victim's children, extended family, friends, or job receives. The abuser will complain, pout, and find ways to emotionally punish the victim. Some examples of these punishments can be hiding the victim's car keys to prevent the victim from going out with friends, or backing out at the last minute on agreeing to watch the children so that the victim cannot work. Abusers will also start to control money in the relationship and demand receipts for all purchases. The abuser will also put down the physical appearance of the victim, and tell the victim that he or she is fat or ugly. The abuser will often belittle the abilities of the victim, tell him or her that they do not measure up, or are incapable of doing everyday tasks, such as cooking or shopping.

Other abusers will become convinced that their partner is cheating on them and will insist that the victim account for every moment of time. The abuser may spy on the victim, follow the victim, or check the victim's cell phone bills. Physical abuse often begins with these emotional tactics, and then the abuser will perform small acts of physical domination, such as shoving or pushing. Oftentimes, before the victim is really aware of it, these acts escalate into major physical abuse.

Breaking Away

One of the most important facts about abusive relationships is how hard is is to leave one. The abuser will often go through cycles of abuse that are followed by remorse and apology so that the victim starts to feel that the abuser really will change. The victim beings to trust the abuser, and then something happens to trigger the abuse again. The victim also tends to blame himself or herself for making the abuser angry. Abusers also tend to be so emotionally manipulative that he or she is very good at convincing the victim that the abuser has changed. It takes a good deal of support and intervention for the victim to leave permanently. Knowing the facts about abusive relationships can make it easier to avoid them, and to leave before it is too late.

Wendy Pan is an accomplished niche website developer and author.

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