Showing posts with label Warning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Warning. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - Be Very Quiet


You don't get the full gist of it in the beginning of the relationship. And as far as your significant other is concerned you are not supposed to. If you did than the chances of you still being in the relationship would drop considerably.

So they went about sweeping you off of your feet and did their best to hide their true nature. It worked because you fell in love with them and decided to make a go of things.

But you cannot shake the thought that everything is not what it appears and that includes your significant other. At times you can feel the tension but you are hard pressed to explain why it hangs in the air.

Are you in an abusive relationship but just don't know it yet? There are signs that may be pointing in that direction.

1. Their Rage

We all get angry but when you significant other loses it they really lose it. There are periods during their ranting and raving where they seem totally out of control. Besides what they wind up getting angry about is so trivial in nature that you have a hard time comprehending why something like that would them off.

2. Post Rage

Your significant other has cooled off. Everything appears to be back to normal but you can tell from their body language they are still peeved. Hours or even days later they still have not gotten over it. You make an effort to talk about it but that just sets them off again. There also does not seem to be any self reflection or remorse. In their opinion, they are right and anybody who cannot see that is blind or just plain ignorant. As time goes on their feelings toward whatever set them off start to harden even more.

3. Waiting For the Storm Again

How does their rage make you feel? Do you brush it off as one of those things that you are prepared to handle if it happens again or do you feel yourself whether intentional or not walking on egg shells? If it makes you afraid to the point that you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself openly then there is a problem out there which could get a lot worse.




For more information on abusive relationships please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.




Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - How to Find Out Before Its Too Late


Lynne Gold-Bikin is the founder of Family Law's Commission on Domestic Violence. She tells the New York Daily News, "A victim is often alienated from friends and family by the abuser, and if someone says something to her about the abuse, she may not listen."

It could be any number of reasons why they refuse to listen. It can be anything from love to just complete and effective manipulation by the abuser. If the abuse victim does finally realize what is going on trying can prove to be very dangerous.

The relationship may start off as love and romance personified but it is crucial that you be aware from the beginning of any potential signs of an abusive relationship.

1 Where Did You Go?

It was never really a problem in any relationship you had. It was understood that both parties from time to time need their space. Not this time. Your significant other wants to know your whereabouts at all times. And they are very insistent about it.

2. Who Were You Talking To And Why?

They see you talking to someone they do not know and now here comes the cross examination. What were the two of you taking about? Your significant other's body language and tone of voice lets you know they are very upset.

It can even be someone they know but they are angry because they did not "authorize" you to carry on a conversation.

3 They Decide and That's Final

In certain matters you have no problem with your significant other taking the lead and making a decision. They seem to enjoy it and its no sweat off your brow.

However on those rare occasions when you do make a suggestion about what to do and where to go they do not take it well. Either they sit there stewing and adamantly refuse to do what you suggest. Or they fly into a rage and explain in very strong terms that the two of you are going to do exactly what they want and they need no advice from you or anyone else when it comes to making decisions.








For more information on abusive relationships please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Warning Signs of Your Abusive Boyfriend - Are You a Victim?


"Gosh...!! Look at him, how charming and considerate he is! He is the only one that I have ever desired." This is what we usually think when we come across someone who is charismatic and thoughtful. And we end up falling head over heels in love with him knowing very little of the demon that he has inside him.

We would overlook his jealousy and possessiveness thinking to be his way of expressing, how much he wants me and loves me, feeling on top of the world, until the day all hell breaks lose and we get to see the other side of him. We come in touch with someone, whom we have never known, a complete contrast of the person we had deeply fallen in love with. And standing right, there we see our world, which we have weaved with utmost love and care falling apart.

Thus, we begin to doubt about our safety and security in the company of that person, in whose embrace, we once found warmth and comfort. So, before taking the extreme step, knowing the person and his character traits is important, so that we don't end up spending our lives with an abuser in an abusive relationship.

Here are a set of questions which would help you to identify the personality and character of your boyfriend, whether he is likely to become an abuser or not :

1) Does your boyfriend often get jealous of you, your friends, your career and your success? Does he get jealous whenever you talk to your male friends? Does your boyfriend often accuse you of having an affair with others?

2) Does he try to dominate you to the extent of controlling on deciding what you wear and how your hair style should be? Does he treat you as if you are inferior to him? Does he force you to consider him to be the top priority of your life and obey him?

3) Has he ever abused you verbally in front of his friends and family? Does he go to the extent of hitting you for no fault of yours? Does he often threaten you with death?

4) Has your boyfriend ever committed violent crimes against others which may prove fatal? Has he ever thrown or strike or hit objects at you? Is he violent towards children and animals?

5) Does he isolate you from your friends and families? Does he always blame you for his faults and bad luck? Does he always make you feel that you are at fault? he might try to make you feel guilty for no fault of yours.

6) Is he addicted to drugs or alcohols? Sometimes a person becomes violent when he is under the influence of drugs and began to hurt others.

7) An abusive person often has a dual character. He might pretend to be very soothing and understanding than he really is in front of others.

8) His mood fluctuates every now and then. And he gets angry very fast and is generally very aggressive.

9) At one moment he will make you feel on top of the world and in the next minute he would demoralize you and throw you in a trash can.

10) He may forcibly let you do something which you do not want to do. For example he might use his physical strength to prevent you from leaving the room or may even force you to have sexual intercourse.

If you see these traits in your boyfriend's behavior then most likely your relationship is heading towards an abusive relationship. And you need to seek help and guidance from Professional counselor. You need to pay attention to the warning signs however whether you want to continue staying in the relationship or end it abruptly is going to be your own decision.








Now, after going through all the warning signs that your boyfriend is abusing you, what you need is the guidance on how to tackle with such a situation. So, here are the tips on, how to end an abusive relationship.

For more on relationship problems and their improvement, visit my website www.top54u.com


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Facts About Abusive Relationships - Recognize the Warning Signs Before It's to Late


Abusive relationships are a very difficult situation for any person to find themselves in. The facts about abusive relationships are not as well known to people as they should be. Abusive relationships can be verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and/or physically abusive. Victims of abuse are typically women, but men are increasingly reporting abuse. All forms of abuse occur in all ethnic or socio-economic groups.

Warning Signs

Some of the warning signs of a person who can become abusive are people who feel wronged by world, feel that everything is everyone else's fault, have a history of physical aggression, who have significant issues of anger management, have a history of drug or alcohol abuse, or feel special entitlement to preferential treatment from others.

Escalation of Abuse

Typically, the abuser begins by controlling the victim's time, relationships, and money. The abuser will complain about the time and attention that the victim's children, extended family, friends, or job receives. The abuser will complain, pout, and find ways to emotionally punish the victim. Some examples of these punishments can be hiding the victim's car keys to prevent the victim from going out with friends, or backing out at the last minute on agreeing to watch the children so that the victim cannot work. Abusers will also start to control money in the relationship and demand receipts for all purchases. The abuser will also put down the physical appearance of the victim, and tell the victim that he or she is fat or ugly. The abuser will often belittle the abilities of the victim, tell him or her that they do not measure up, or are incapable of doing everyday tasks, such as cooking or shopping.

Other abusers will become convinced that their partner is cheating on them and will insist that the victim account for every moment of time. The abuser may spy on the victim, follow the victim, or check the victim's cell phone bills. Physical abuse often begins with these emotional tactics, and then the abuser will perform small acts of physical domination, such as shoving or pushing. Oftentimes, before the victim is really aware of it, these acts escalate into major physical abuse.

Breaking Away

One of the most important facts about abusive relationships is how hard is is to leave one. The abuser will often go through cycles of abuse that are followed by remorse and apology so that the victim starts to feel that the abuser really will change. The victim beings to trust the abuser, and then something happens to trigger the abuse again. The victim also tends to blame himself or herself for making the abuser angry. Abusers also tend to be so emotionally manipulative that he or she is very good at convincing the victim that the abuser has changed. It takes a good deal of support and intervention for the victim to leave permanently. Knowing the facts about abusive relationships can make it easier to avoid them, and to leave before it is too late.








Wendy Pan is an accomplished niche website developer and author.

To learn more about abusive relationships [http://abusiverelationshipstoday.info/facts-about-abusive-relationships-recognize-the-warning-signs-before-its-to-late], please visit Abusive Relationships Today [http://abusiverelationshipstoday.info] for current articles and discussions.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship


A newfound love is always exhilarating. This exhilaration always causes one to be blinded to the very obvious indicators and should be flashing red lights, warning a person of a potentially catastrophic relationship. Often, if the abuse has been inflicted during dating, it is always possible to continue well after the marriage and escalate over time. Any couple in a relationship cannot change each other's behaviour. One can only change oneself, so, staying in a relationship out of fear, or hoping that the other person will eventually change is not necessary. Abusers usually show signs of similar behavioural patterns. Being able to spot these patterns and signals can help a person from entering any abusive relationship before it even begins.

Identifying an abuser can be easy if one is familiar with the clues. A common behaviour seen in this relationship is jealousy. An abusive person will often refer to jealousy as a sign of love, especially at the early stages of the relationship. Unfortunately, jealousy has nothing to do with love. It is simply an indication of possessiveness and lack of trust. The jealous partner is often inquisitive about who his/her partner talks to, accuses him/her of flirting and is jealous even of one's family and friends. Strange behaviours like checking your car's mileage or asking friends to watch you are also common.

A controlling behaviour is also prominent-the abuser will assert that this is because of his/her concern for your safety, or simply wants to guide you to use time wisely. There will be bursts of anger if one is late coming back from an appointment, and will question the partner closely about his/her whereabouts. Often, the abuser will prevent the other person from making personal decisions, even those regarding one's clothing, hairstyle and appearance as this behaviour gets worse. A whirlwind romance may seem romantic, although it doesn't always end that way. A lot of people involved in an abusive relationship dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months or so before they got married, engaged or moved in together.

One is always pressured to commit to the relationship in a way that makes the other person feel guilty because of the slowing down of involvement or breakup in the relationship. Unrealistic expectations from his/her partner are a common characteristic of an abusive partner. They want their significant other to be able to meet their every need. There is always a demand for the other person to be perfect in just about everything and take care of all his/her emotional needs. This person is likewise constantly unemployed, and somebody is always out to get him/her. An abuser will may make mistakes, and will surely blame you for upsetting him/her.

As a matter of fact, you will be at fault for almost every single thing that goes wrong in an abusive relationship. Saying things that are cruel and hurtful is almost second nature to an abuser. He/she will degrade, curse, or subject you to name-calling and will even make fun of your accomplishments. This person may even wake you up in the middle of the night to verbally abuse you or will not allow you to sleep until you talk out an argument. To make matters worse, there will be threats of violence meant to control a partner. And, it won't be surprising at all if he/she displays breaking or striking objects.

Often, the abuser also has a history of being physically abusive to a past bf/gf or husband/wife.








The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationship Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.