If you have a loved one in an abusive relationship, the worry and often guilt can be almost overwhelming. Why would they choose this person? Should I have said something earlier? Why didn't I sense what their partner was really like when I first met them? What should I be doing now?
The questions will eat you alive if you let them.
However, the important thing to focus on is what you can do now to help them get out of the situation and what you can do in the future to help them not get into a situation like that again.
As far as what you can do now, the main thing is just to let the person know that you are there to support them. Don't pressure them to make the decision you want them to. Also, don't pressure them to be in touch with you, to follow through on plans, or anything else that they may have become unreliable at doing. They are under constant pressure from their abusive partner, as well as probably other people in their life. You want them to think of you as the one person they can always turn to, no matter what. In this way, they will be much more likely to turn to you for help if and when they do make the difficult decision to leave their abusive relationship.
A sad reality is that people tend to repeat unhealthy patterns in their life. Therefore, a scary possibility is that you might again find yourself watching your friend begin a relationship with a dangerous partner.
Hopefully, though, you will find yourself better prepared to spot the danger signs having been through it before. Also hopefully, your friend might be more likely to trust you after you have helped them once before.
The important thing to remember is to value your friend and let them know you are there for them.
To find out more about why women stay in abusive relationships and how you can help, visit http://squidoo.com/abusiverelationships
No comments:
Post a Comment