You may have noticed I was absent for some time. Most likely, nobody is really interested, because I believe that the only people who read this are children who know IRL. But anyway, I would like to return to blogging and I feel like a striking gap in my positions must be interpreted. I also believe that it is important to discuss, and if you don't very much care for this conversation.
This is probably where we should have a TRIGGER warning for rape.
I think that no one will be surprised that were interpersonal drama that ate in my life and I loved this blog. This is for me a lot. I'm pretty used to this by now, but it tries to emerge from the cycle is mind-numbingly difficult. I understand the procedure now? how my own emotional contribute to this. I am very desperate for love and confirmation, make people easier and more tightly than is healthy. I am also very socially inefficient, which means that I have a tendency to accidentally hell relations, and that I know of recognizing when partnerships with the South will begin. I don't have a very good model for what a healthy, healthy relationship.
Even unconsciously, it helped me to see what happens and happens. I'm still trying the bit.
In this case, however, I stumbled into a new kind of badness: sexual coercion.
A person who participated in sexual, who remain unnamed, had firmly places more pressure for me to get off. It is interesting, and grim, clearly had no idea. Many of my friends have noticed that, looking for dialogue as spectators, but it took me some time to note, and it never did. Even when I tried to tell him this, couldn't he just accept.
In my case I contribute to the force. My my uncertainty, emotional dependency, passivity and a whole slew of problems that I got all tangled up in each other, have kept me from the claim itself, say the top that I didn't want to have sex with her anymore. Indeed, even if you couldn't get myself to say so explicitly, but this was not my attachment disorders and for all these reasons, I would probably not have succumbed all. one. the time.
The biggest things went, the less I could say no, or much of anything to say. Certainly could not such. I wound up tying passive aggressive without even this. He did, however, and instead of asking what was going on, he performed like everything was normal. It is not possible to hold that against him, because that is exactly what I do under stress. But I'm a little worried about the fact that he believed that it would mean and terrible to him, but was still quite willing to get drunk her blowjobs by me.
This is another thing. Nearly every time we fucked, I was drunk. It was not. That should be a red flag for me, but I haven't noticed until much later.
It got to where I was so nervous about the fact was that around, you get drunk almost every year. Then, leading to more sex, which leads to more nervousness.
Apparently also, I found very annoying when drunk. But not annoying enough that he didn't want to fuck me.
So, this was months of mainly dubcon. In my opinion, both of us errors. While this was that I was abusing me, avoids what allows abuse by actively know him of something that they can do to stop the abuse.
It is not very healthy, too.
Finally, things came to the actual rape. I will now turn to the section on revocable consent.
Behold, our culture has some serious problems with how we deal with rape. Ypopsei those in particular, how do you keep everything else. When we think we will have a big strong man robbing a woman of the street, holding a gun to her head and forcing himself on her, while she screams and House raping. We can even frat boy slipped a sleezy roofie in coed a drink at a party. However, there are many, many things we do not believe it.
That night, he was drunk. Very drunk. I've been drunker than it should have, I got some Klonopin, and drank more. And then everyone went to sleep.
I was drunk enough that I things started. Proposal for an activity that we had not yet dealt with. However, that we are talking about things first, because I had tried to talk about some important things for a long time. He spoke to me. Then he told me that he had to wear a condom. He spoke to me. Then I tried to undo the last moment. And that he ignored.
And while he did, just put it there. I didn't say or do anything until I asked if felt good and autopilot. I had to tell him that he wanted to hear. Not able to overthrow him.
I said yes.
This is the part that I find most repellent.
This and the fact that when I tried to say it later, he saw that as rape. We reached agreement on all aspects of how it happened, not only about the findings. I find that worrying. And then he said I was wrong, and a monster.
I fear that supposedly enlightened and modern society, most people assume permission somewhat irreversible. Even before the night, I think that the coercion was because I saw a previous consensus to leave it open. If you suck the Cock agree, because I don't want to do it again? When I?
Even if he doesn't keep, it was rape. Even if you don't fight back, it was rape. Although things started, it was rape. Although I said that I felt good, it was rape. Even if they had felt good, even rape.
It is important to talk about it. It is important for the story to be there, for anyone who has experienced this, to know that they are not alone. It could be argued that is in danger, to know what can happen, and we know them. And for anyone who might have committed rape, that is all, be aware that this is not good. If you do this, rape is.
You've seen those information movies that saying "rape is the question of man"? It is a mistake. Rape is everyone's problem. Anyone can be raped, and who can commit rape. And the only way to fight this is to inform, to talk about and debunk myths.
~ from onetiddlyridley on June 24, 2011. Posted in rant, sexualityTags: abuse, abusive relationships, communication, codependency, authorisation, date rape, love addiction, rape culture, revocable consent, sex addiction, sex and love, drug addiction, sexual coercion, vicious circle, victim blaming
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