About the importance of revocable consent

You may have noticed I was absent for some time. Most likely, nobody is really interested, because I believe that the only people who read this are children who know IRL. But anyway, I would like to return to blogging and I feel like a striking gap in my positions must be interpreted. I also believe that it is important to discuss, and if you don't very much care for this conversation.

This is probably where we should have a TRIGGER warning for rape.

I think that no one will be surprised that were interpersonal drama that ate in my life and I loved this blog. This is for me a lot. I'm pretty used to this by now, but it tries to emerge from the cycle is mind-numbingly difficult. I understand the procedure now? how my own emotional contribute to this. I am very desperate for love and confirmation, make people easier and more tightly than is healthy. I am also very socially inefficient, which means that I have a tendency to accidentally hell relations, and that I know of recognizing when partnerships with the South will begin. I don't have a very good model for what a healthy, healthy relationship.

Even unconsciously, it helped me to see what happens and happens. I'm still trying the bit.

In this case, however, I stumbled into a new kind of badness: sexual coercion.

A person who participated in sexual, who remain unnamed, had firmly places more pressure for me to get off. It is interesting, and grim, clearly had no idea. Many of my friends have noticed that, looking for dialogue as spectators, but it took me some time to note, and it never did. Even when I tried to tell him this, couldn't he just accept.

In my case I contribute to the force. My my uncertainty, emotional dependency, passivity and a whole slew of problems that I got all tangled up in each other, have kept me from the claim itself, say the top that I didn't want to have sex with her anymore. Indeed, even if you couldn't get myself to say so explicitly, but this was not my attachment disorders and for all these reasons, I would probably not have succumbed all. one. the time.

The biggest things went, the less I could say no, or much of anything to say. Certainly could not such. I wound up tying passive aggressive without even this. He did, however, and instead of asking what was going on, he performed like everything was normal. It is not possible to hold that against him, because that is exactly what I do under stress. But I'm a little worried about the fact that he believed that it would mean and terrible to him, but was still quite willing to get drunk her blowjobs by me.

This is another thing. Nearly every time we fucked, I was drunk. It was not. That should be a red flag for me, but I haven't noticed until much later.

It got to where I was so nervous about the fact was that around, you get drunk almost every year. Then, leading to more sex, which leads to more nervousness.

Apparently also, I found very annoying when drunk. But not annoying enough that he didn't want to fuck me.

So, this was months of mainly dubcon. In my opinion, both of us errors. While this was that I was abusing me, avoids what allows abuse by actively know him of something that they can do to stop the abuse.

It is not very healthy, too.

Finally, things came to the actual rape. I will now turn to the section on revocable consent.

Behold, our culture has some serious problems with how we deal with rape. Ypopsei those in particular, how do you keep everything else. When we think we will have a big strong man robbing a woman of the street, holding a gun to her head and forcing himself on her, while she screams and House raping. We can even frat boy slipped a sleezy roofie in coed a drink at a party. However, there are many, many things we do not believe it.

That night, he was drunk. Very drunk. I've been drunker than it should have, I got some Klonopin, and drank more. And then everyone went to sleep.

I was drunk enough that I things started. Proposal for an activity that we had not yet dealt with. However, that we are talking about things first, because I had tried to talk about some important things for a long time. He spoke to me. Then he told me that he had to wear a condom. He spoke to me. Then I tried to undo the last moment. And that he ignored.

And while he did, just put it there. I didn't say or do anything until I asked if felt good and autopilot. I had to tell him that he wanted to hear. Not able to overthrow him.

I said yes.

This is the part that I find most repellent.

This and the fact that when I tried to say it later, he saw that as rape. We reached agreement on all aspects of how it happened, not only about the findings. I find that worrying. And then he said I was wrong, and a monster.

I fear that supposedly enlightened and modern society, most people assume permission somewhat irreversible. Even before the night, I think that the coercion was because I saw a previous consensus to leave it open. If you suck the Cock agree, because I don't want to do it again? When I?

Even if he doesn't keep, it was rape. Even if you don't fight back, it was rape. Although things started, it was rape. Although I said that I felt good, it was rape. Even if they had felt good, even rape.

It is important to talk about it. It is important for the story to be there, for anyone who has experienced this, to know that they are not alone. It could be argued that is in danger, to know what can happen, and we know them. And for anyone who might have committed rape, that is all, be aware that this is not good. If you do this, rape is.

You've seen those information movies that saying "rape is the question of man"? It is a mistake. Rape is everyone's problem. Anyone can be raped, and who can commit rape. And the only way to fight this is to inform, to talk about and debunk myths.

~ from onetiddlyridley on June 24, 2011. Posted in rant, sexuality
Tags: abuse, abusive relationships, communication, codependency, authorisation, date rape, love addiction, rape culture, revocable consent, sex addiction, sex and love, drug addiction, sexual coercion, vicious circle, victim blaming

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Can the divorce lawyer to ask about sexual activity in a deposition.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Divorce lawyer to ask for anything in a deposition and the opposing lawyer has just to sit and find answers to the client.

Lawyers cannot advise clients not to answer questions deposition unless so-called, in the form of the query or to accuse the lawyer of harassment.  In these cases, the question can be identified by the court reporter taking testimony and asks the judge to interrogate a lawyer on the case to decide whether or not the depository identity has to answer the question.  In the County of Palm Beach, Florida, this usually takes place over the phone on the right for a decision, or if the judge is not available, of the proposal and the hearing.  If a hearing is required, the deposition will be continued at another time.

Deposition testimony is often used in the kremala to verify or refute kremala testimony.  They are an integral part of each test.  For more information about these or other matters of divorce call family law offices, ROBIN ROSHKIND, p.a. 561 835 9091 or click from the company website at www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

Deposition questions of divorce is usually about finance, business, relationships, drug or alcohol use, that probative to the issues in the case of divorce.  Behavior, financial records, all sworn come into question.

It is the first I would like to take this post.

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Let's talk about friendship

I recently hit friendship author on Examiner.com. Check out my page here.

I exchanged views on certain topics for friendship and something that I would like to do an article somewhere/funniest/most egregious/standard/daily/wonderful stories of how my friends and readers meet their best friends. Please comment below with your story or email me at marzipanjoy@yahoo.com with your story. And if you have other suggestions for articles, I can change my friendship, I would really like to hear them!

So far I've written about the letter writing, what to do if your friend in a insulting or otherwise unhealthy relationship and ideas is a gift for friends to graduate. If you want articles, let me know and comment on articles.

It is the first I would like to take this post.

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Verbal Abuse in Relationships - What Is It and What Can You Do About It?

The definition of verbal abuse is spoken words used with the intent to cause harm. Verbally abusive statements are directed at another person, causing emotional suffering and leading to depression, low self esteem and even thoughts of suicide. In addition to the psychological effects, verbal abuse can lead to physical ailments resulting from stress and a depressed immune system.

What is Verbal Abuse?

- is hurtful and frequently attacks the character and/or abilities of the victim. Over time, the victim may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or their abilities. The victim may come to feel that they are the problem, rather than their partner.

- is judging and criticizing. The abuser may judge the victim and then express that judgment in a critical way.

- may be overt or covert. Overt abuse usually involves blame and accusations. Covert verbal abuse involves hidden aggression, and is even more confusing to the victim.

- is about control and manipulation. Even reproachful comments may be voiced in an extremely sincere and concerned way.

- is often subtle. The victim's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without them realizing it. They may consciously or unconsciously try to change their behavior so as not to upset the abuser.

- is unpredictable.

- is not a side issue; it is the issue in the relationship. When a couple is having an argument about a real issue, the issue can be resolved. In a verbally abusive relationship, there is no specific conflict. The issue is the abuse, and this is not resolved. There is no closure.

- may escalate, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. It may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes and evolve later into other forms. Sometimes it can escalate into physical abuse.

- is also know as trivializing, which is a form of verbal abuse. It is an attempt to take something that is said or done and make it insignificant.

- is blocking and diverting. The abuser refuses to communicate, decides what can and can't be discussed, or withholds information.

- may also include undermining, threatening, name-calling, forgetting the abuse ever happened and/or giving orders.

Currently, it is thought that verbal abuse may be the worst of the three principle abuse categories (physical, emotional and verbal) because memories of physical or emotional abuse may fade, but insults can often be remembered word for word, indefinitely. Abuse is about control. To escape it, you can take control of your own feelings and the way you communicate without trying to control the other person. Love should not hurt.

The first step in ending verbal abuse is recognizing that you are in a verbally abusive relationship. If your partner often makes malicious comments that hurt you emotionally, seek outside help in putting a stop to it. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," is clearly untrue - words can cause damage. And that damage may stick with you throughout your entire life. Some relationships are much more abusive than others. If you generally have a good relationship but it deteriorates into pointless arguing, you can probably fix it. Even a more abusive relationship may be worth working on if you can see improvements over time. If you seem to be moving in the right direction, don't ask why, just keep moving. Consider leaving if the abuser will not listen, is inflexible, will not consider counseling, tells everyone that you are crazy or that you are the abuser, wears two masks (a nice one for the world and the abusive one for you) or insists that everything be done their way or the highway.

Nancy Travers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializes in all types of relationships; dating, existing relationships, family relationships, and relationships with friends and business relationships. She also helps her clients overcome anxiety and depression through talk therapy as well as through hypnosis. What sets her apart from many other counselors is that she has counseled in the gay/lesbian community for over 10 years. She also has experience counseling families with elder care issues. Nancy has been in practice for over 15 years and can provide you with the tools you need to approach dating and relationships with confidence. Visit her website at http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com.

Verbal violence in relationships and what to do about the

Staying in relation to any type of abuse is the same as maintaining your pink in a pot of boiling water. You think just because this is your little finger will not destroy your hand? No. LATE. Abuse Burns-it hurts, and the only way you can "do more" is when you take your fingers out of the pot of ZeSEWS WATER. Just get from your abuser will be much more than "survive" is going to THROW and thrive! (I can promise you a day, because there was too much.)

Verbal violence in relationships and what to do about the
By Barbara Rose, Ph. d.

I decided to record from this chapter about the abuse, because most women feel "less than," more women who do not feel as a whole, be appropriated radiant, or very sure.

Are you? I'm going to describe the most common forms of abuse, and then assign to you to write how this might relate to your questions. The written will be largely help you see what you might not come to wholeness. The insults and the functions of another can undermine your more than knowledge.

Maybe they don't come to you now, but you have in the past. Maybe abuse inflicted on you every day, and you accept it because you think that's exactly how the imposer, maintaining the status quo out of a deep fear of being alone, without a partner, material comfort or convenience, do you get of the imposer. But abuse in all forms of your self-esteem and confidence into disrepute. Is the ultimate confidence for appearance, toxic for the wholeness and deadly poison.

Here are the signs of abuse. If they are about you, but one thing to know: this is your chance to spot the signs and learn how to arrive from the abuse.

Verbal, psychological and emotional abuse

Guides you step by step so you can see how all forms of abuse can only undermine the wholeness, radiance and Supreme confidence you really want to feel. It is my deepest hope that not only your embrace what I'm about to tell, but you will also find the courage to take personal responsibility for your well-being at all levels.

Verbal abuse

For example, suppose you have captured in a few pounds, or even 20 or 30, and your partner a snide comment: "put on some extra weight, Hon; It is better to gym. "I think comment verbal abuse. I feel sick. Feels humiliating. When a comment is pejorative, is humiliating. And this is verbal abuse.

Make no excuses for comments. What you love "eight" that get greyer, more toned, less wrinkled. The list could go on.

It is a question that you deserve to have someone in your life who loves and accepts you as you weight, gray hair, wrinkles and everyone.

Now, suppose that you say, "Boy, I really gain weight and your colleague responds," brilliant!, but we all do sometimes. I love you for who you are, not the number of scale. "This is an unconditional love partner.

See the difference? An entire book about the abuses could write, but I want to get to the point to observe is what abuse.

Verbal harassment consists of comments that lead to you feeling that "less than" caused to have that sinking feeling in your stomach, a sense of betrayal, pain, sadness, depression and sadness.

When you notice that your verbally abused – or otherwise – you, my dear sister, you have two options: (1) you can keep giving this to happen, giving you even less than I ever felt before. or (2) you can request the wrong person to stop completely. If he or she stopped, this is fantastic. If he or she does not stop, then you all your inner truth, all your true feelings about verbal abuse you receive each day, and walk through the life of that person.

If you have the wrong person to stop many times asked and nothing has changed, nothing will change. The wrong person won't stop just because you can ask again. People who understand the abuser and remain in the abusive situation seriously say should reconsider their statements. Will never misuse or to tolerate, nor even for a few minutes.

Verbal abuse comes in the form of snide remarks, put-downs, name-calling, humiliating comments, convincing requesting control of tons and harsh words.

If a woman who wants to feel increasingly shows full inside to your inner glow abroad, leave the abusive situation. There is no other way.

© Copyright by Barbara Rose, PhD-all rights reserved. Chapter excerpt reprinted with permission from the book know Yourself: a woman's Guide to "complete" Radiance & Supreme confidence. (Group Rose, January 2006) ISBN: 0974145734

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What to say about a teenager who has an abusive boyfriend

By Barbara Rose, Ph. d.

When I was eighteen years old had an abusive boyfriend, and I was sad. My mother would sit down and tell me how bad I allow myself to be addressed. When I remember hearing words and know deep in my heart that correct about what 100 percent was telling me. I felt that I was filled, and low self-esteem. I felt ashamed to admit that it was right. I want to display. I didn't want to look like a failure, and I wanted to be sure not to admit that it was right. Although everything she said hit home, and knew this was what I really support, understanding, and could someone guide me a way in love so break this abuse boyfriend.

Must be a real friend, not a daily reading.

Of course my mom pointing out the obvious and making this the best way knew how. All parents do better to know how. Now, this book is in your hands can get from a different perspective, so that you can draw positive insight that you will help with your teen. It is the only thing that with the link to your teen can help, asset-backed by your decision to learn what you can do to make you a better position to care for your teen to drive the best place at all levels of its working life, to help.

If you see that your teen dating someone feel and know it is not in the interest of or better, here's an approach that you can try that works wonders. Try to let your teen know that you really believe in European and that the current selection may just be a mistake, in which he or she is not at the beginning of the relationship.

It is not true for all those who have ended relationships? We Usually do not see that the relationship would not be in our interest, when it started. Everyone is doing it by hand. It is so important for you to get your teen know that anyone was ever in a relationship that proven embarrassing that I really do not see listed at the beginning, and it doesn't make your teen a failure.

Try this approach as well. Try saying: "I believe in you and I know that you are very slim. I know this is a difficult time and I know it will come from this brilliant. Relationship mistakes are filled with great lessons. So even if you feel sad, you never feel like a failure because you never failed! Is OK and even positive step away from a relationship that leads to pain. I have, and I know that many other people have. The most important thing to know and keep in mind is that a relationship has never been a reflection of how good it is deep inside. You were born. Once your learning through experience, how everyone learns and in my life, learned the most painful time me so much. I know I'm going to make the best choices that lead to will feel happy again, and I fully agree with you. "

Now, I think the above point, bring honesty, unconditional love, support, honesty, humility and wisdom. I also believe that by about your teenager and positively supporting emotional place sermon about this, probably you can help make a rapid departure of a negative relationship feel sad.

Here is the alternative, and be honest with yourself what dialogue will probably sound of your mother if you're a teenager.

Alternative dialogue

"How can you allow yourself to be treated like dirt? Where is the backbone? Your acting like an absolute WIMP. He uses, garbage, and treats you like a doormat. Why don't you just break up with him? What's wrong with you? You don't have a brain in your head? I can't stand him not leave this way of seeing. You are sad. I've never seen anything like this before. An attitude that indicate a spine. "

Your choice

The examples that you think your teen actually achieved? One feels supportive? What do you think that your teen will be faster answer? You should be able to respond faster and more honest if it was you?

I think I prefer the first subparagraph. I think I prefer to deal with loving support instead of preached. Let me ask you a question, now that you have a mature adult. Your MOM never talked with one of the ways described above? What I prefer to connect with and supported or preached?

If you're anything like most people who have feelings, I prefer to speak with the softer still in love and sincere manner. Truth should be spoken at all times. But how does all of the difference in the world are spoken.

I don't want anything more than able to thrive in your relationship with your teen. I am very much a mother, and nothing is more important to me in my teens. What I did was talk and behave with the opposite way which I have spoken with and treated when they grow up. I know how it feels to wish I had a parent that could really understand that me, my friend and my anxiety while he or she showed me that he or she really believed me.

I am convinced that you do not have to grow up, you probably want the same thing. Also, I dare to say that if your teen will not feel an incredible amount of loving unconditional support of you, your relationship is expired, when will you prefer deep in your heart that prosper. I hope at least that's what you prefer.

An exclusive excerpt from bestselling book God my dear, are teenagers. Please Help! (ISBN: 0974145777 Rose Group, april 2007) © Copyright 2007, 2011 by Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD-all rights reserved.

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Facts About Abusive Relationships - Recognize the Warning Signs Before It's to Late

Abusive relationships are a very difficult situation for any person to find themselves in. The facts about abusive relationships are not as well known to people as they should be. Abusive relationships can be verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, and/or physically abusive. Victims of abuse are typically women, but men are increasingly reporting abuse. All forms of abuse occur in all ethnic or socio-economic groups.

Warning Signs

Some of the warning signs of a person who can become abusive are people who feel wronged by world, feel that everything is everyone else's fault, have a history of physical aggression, who have significant issues of anger management, have a history of drug or alcohol abuse, or feel special entitlement to preferential treatment from others.

Escalation of Abuse

Typically, the abuser begins by controlling the victim's time, relationships, and money. The abuser will complain about the time and attention that the victim's children, extended family, friends, or job receives. The abuser will complain, pout, and find ways to emotionally punish the victim. Some examples of these punishments can be hiding the victim's car keys to prevent the victim from going out with friends, or backing out at the last minute on agreeing to watch the children so that the victim cannot work. Abusers will also start to control money in the relationship and demand receipts for all purchases. The abuser will also put down the physical appearance of the victim, and tell the victim that he or she is fat or ugly. The abuser will often belittle the abilities of the victim, tell him or her that they do not measure up, or are incapable of doing everyday tasks, such as cooking or shopping.

Other abusers will become convinced that their partner is cheating on them and will insist that the victim account for every moment of time. The abuser may spy on the victim, follow the victim, or check the victim's cell phone bills. Physical abuse often begins with these emotional tactics, and then the abuser will perform small acts of physical domination, such as shoving or pushing. Oftentimes, before the victim is really aware of it, these acts escalate into major physical abuse.

Breaking Away

One of the most important facts about abusive relationships is how hard is is to leave one. The abuser will often go through cycles of abuse that are followed by remorse and apology so that the victim starts to feel that the abuser really will change. The victim beings to trust the abuser, and then something happens to trigger the abuse again. The victim also tends to blame himself or herself for making the abuser angry. Abusers also tend to be so emotionally manipulative that he or she is very good at convincing the victim that the abuser has changed. It takes a good deal of support and intervention for the victim to leave permanently. Knowing the facts about abusive relationships can make it easier to avoid them, and to leave before it is too late.

Wendy Pan is an accomplished niche website developer and author.

To learn more about abusive relationships [http://abusiverelationshipstoday.info/facts-about-abusive-relationships-recognize-the-warning-signs-before-its-to-late], please visit Abusive Relationships Today [http://abusiverelationshipstoday.info] for current articles and discussions.

Abusive Relationships - It's Not About Staying Or Going

Relationships are sustained by the environment in which they survive. An abusive relationship is not only sustained by the environment in which it survives, it in turn sustains that environment for its own ends. This sustaining of the environment is what makes an abusive relationship almost a monster of its own - it has a tightly focused agenda that is geared towards fulfilling its own need to be unhealthy and destructive.

If your relationship is full of despair, frustration, unhappiness and resentment, these characteristics may have been cultivated by the relationship itself but what makes an abusive relationship extremely unhealthy is that it feeds off of these same qualities and nothing else. The relationship now therefore has no other purpose but to keep on creating the despair, the frustration, the unhappiness and the resentment. That is the real nature of an abusive relationship.

If you are in an abusive relationship, for the above reasons, apart from the other dangers involved, you need to quickly change the course of that relationship as its very nature is so corruptive that it cannot help but be destructive to everyone involved.

The only way to fix an abusive relationship is not to try and fix it but to discard it. Understand what is being said here. It is not being suggested that the interaction between you and your spouse not be repaired. What is definitely being suggested is that if you are to continue with that interaction, the current relationship that has turned abusive for whatever reason does not have within it the capacity through which that interaction can take place in a healthy manner.

Abuse in whatever form should be taken seriously and how one proceed beyond this unfortunate situation is clearly a matter of choice based on personal values and other situations. This article does not pretend to give any advice on what choices should be made or are most appropriate. However, whatever the decision it is very important that the one critical thing that must be understood is that a relationship that has turned abusive loses its own integrity and is essentially broken by its own character - disrespect, disregard, a lack of love, and most likely selfishness.

Interpersonal relationships, particularly of the romantic kind, are extremely valuable to our growth. But while even discord can contribute to that growth, the type of growth that we look for in a relationship is one that is the result of harmony. There can hardly be any of this in an abusive relationship and for that reason, apart from the other obvious damages done to each party involved, a relationship of this nature is best discarded.

The issue in an abusive relationship is hardly whether to stay or go. The issue is to agree that the relationship has to be discarded. Going is only one way of discarding it. Even if both parties continue the interaction, that particular relationship has to go.

About The Author

Words are such an important part of our lives - we say them, we feel them, we try to live them, they motivate, they generate hurt at times, they provide joy. But most importantly, they help to make life such a blast. At http://yorlig.com/wordpower G.W. Smikle uses the written word to explore many facets of life which are so important to all of us - relationships, spirituality, our motivations and our blind sides. Visit him as he expands on some of the principles outlined in his book A Gift For You