Time To Leave Your Toxic Relationship - Abusive Boyfriend

If you have been with your long time boyfriend who is abusive towards you, then it is time to leave your toxic relationship and stop putting yourself through undeserved torture. You are human, and you have feelings and self-worth. Being with some who is abusive towards you will only kill your self-esteem. You can only put up with the behavior for a certain limit but if it takes place constantly, you are only letting the abuse to break you down bit by bit without you realizing it. A relationship is suppose to be healthy, happy and bring out the best in you.

Time will not change him

One thing you cannot do is to change your boyfriend. Nobody can change anybody and if you try, it will only result to a fight or just a temporary result. However, you can change your reaction towards your boyfriend's abusive attitude towards you. Instead of giving in and letting him walk all over you until he is contented, you can change your attitude and stop him from having control when he starts to abuse you.

Give him a chance

You may think it is brutal to walk out on him just because he yells at you or just hit you. That is still unacceptable and you should find a time to talk to him when he is in a good mood. Talk through about what you can and cannot tolerate and why is he hurting you. If he didn't realize his actions, he will take note of what you say and try to control his behavior. If he threatens you, give you excuses like it was just a small deal and continue to behave like that, then you should remind yourself that he's got his chance and he blew it. You have every right to walk out on him.

Be firm

Maybe you are his object of gaining his confidence. If you have given him another chance but he blew it and is begging you to go back to him, don't soften your heart. In fact, to avoid such a dilemma, you should cut off all contacts from him and don't allow you to pester you and make you unsure of your decision.

A relationship is a two way thing. Besides trust and honesty, respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. It is common for people to lose self confidence, developed self-hatred and have distorted view of their self-worth if they had been affected by an abusive relationship. If your boyfriend is taking you for granted and is hurting you, then it is time to leave your abusive relationship.

Lea Anne helps her girlfriends by playing the role of Aunt Agony to help them by giving out her insights on relationship problems.For more of her write ups on dating and relationship advice, check out Healing From Your Break Up and the list of best guides.

Warning Signs of Your Abusive Boyfriend - Are You a Victim?

"Gosh...!! Look at him, how charming and considerate he is! He is the only one that I have ever desired." This is what we usually think when we come across someone who is charismatic and thoughtful. And we end up falling head over heels in love with him knowing very little of the demon that he has inside him.

We would overlook his jealousy and possessiveness thinking to be his way of expressing, how much he wants me and loves me, feeling on top of the world, until the day all hell breaks lose and we get to see the other side of him. We come in touch with someone, whom we have never known, a complete contrast of the person we had deeply fallen in love with. And standing right, there we see our world, which we have weaved with utmost love and care falling apart.

Thus, we begin to doubt about our safety and security in the company of that person, in whose embrace, we once found warmth and comfort. So, before taking the extreme step, knowing the person and his character traits is important, so that we don't end up spending our lives with an abuser in an abusive relationship.

Here are a set of questions which would help you to identify the personality and character of your boyfriend, whether he is likely to become an abuser or not :

1) Does your boyfriend often get jealous of you, your friends, your career and your success? Does he get jealous whenever you talk to your male friends? Does your boyfriend often accuse you of having an affair with others?

2) Does he try to dominate you to the extent of controlling on deciding what you wear and how your hair style should be? Does he treat you as if you are inferior to him? Does he force you to consider him to be the top priority of your life and obey him?

3) Has he ever abused you verbally in front of his friends and family? Does he go to the extent of hitting you for no fault of yours? Does he often threaten you with death?

4) Has your boyfriend ever committed violent crimes against others which may prove fatal? Has he ever thrown or strike or hit objects at you? Is he violent towards children and animals?

5) Does he isolate you from your friends and families? Does he always blame you for his faults and bad luck? Does he always make you feel that you are at fault? he might try to make you feel guilty for no fault of yours.

6) Is he addicted to drugs or alcohols? Sometimes a person becomes violent when he is under the influence of drugs and began to hurt others.

7) An abusive person often has a dual character. He might pretend to be very soothing and understanding than he really is in front of others.

8) His mood fluctuates every now and then. And he gets angry very fast and is generally very aggressive.

9) At one moment he will make you feel on top of the world and in the next minute he would demoralize you and throw you in a trash can.

10) He may forcibly let you do something which you do not want to do. For example he might use his physical strength to prevent you from leaving the room or may even force you to have sexual intercourse.

If you see these traits in your boyfriend's behavior then most likely your relationship is heading towards an abusive relationship. And you need to seek help and guidance from Professional counselor. You need to pay attention to the warning signs however whether you want to continue staying in the relationship or end it abruptly is going to be your own decision.

Now, after going through all the warning signs that your boyfriend is abusing you, what you need is the guidance on how to tackle with such a situation. So, here are the tips on, how to end an abusive relationship.

For more on relationship problems and their improvement, visit my website www.top54u.com

What to say about a teenager who has an abusive boyfriend

By Barbara Rose, Ph. d.

When I was eighteen years old had an abusive boyfriend, and I was sad. My mother would sit down and tell me how bad I allow myself to be addressed. When I remember hearing words and know deep in my heart that correct about what 100 percent was telling me. I felt that I was filled, and low self-esteem. I felt ashamed to admit that it was right. I want to display. I didn't want to look like a failure, and I wanted to be sure not to admit that it was right. Although everything she said hit home, and knew this was what I really support, understanding, and could someone guide me a way in love so break this abuse boyfriend.

Must be a real friend, not a daily reading.

Of course my mom pointing out the obvious and making this the best way knew how. All parents do better to know how. Now, this book is in your hands can get from a different perspective, so that you can draw positive insight that you will help with your teen. It is the only thing that with the link to your teen can help, asset-backed by your decision to learn what you can do to make you a better position to care for your teen to drive the best place at all levels of its working life, to help.

If you see that your teen dating someone feel and know it is not in the interest of or better, here's an approach that you can try that works wonders. Try to let your teen know that you really believe in European and that the current selection may just be a mistake, in which he or she is not at the beginning of the relationship.

It is not true for all those who have ended relationships? We Usually do not see that the relationship would not be in our interest, when it started. Everyone is doing it by hand. It is so important for you to get your teen know that anyone was ever in a relationship that proven embarrassing that I really do not see listed at the beginning, and it doesn't make your teen a failure.

Try this approach as well. Try saying: "I believe in you and I know that you are very slim. I know this is a difficult time and I know it will come from this brilliant. Relationship mistakes are filled with great lessons. So even if you feel sad, you never feel like a failure because you never failed! Is OK and even positive step away from a relationship that leads to pain. I have, and I know that many other people have. The most important thing to know and keep in mind is that a relationship has never been a reflection of how good it is deep inside. You were born. Once your learning through experience, how everyone learns and in my life, learned the most painful time me so much. I know I'm going to make the best choices that lead to will feel happy again, and I fully agree with you. "

Now, I think the above point, bring honesty, unconditional love, support, honesty, humility and wisdom. I also believe that by about your teenager and positively supporting emotional place sermon about this, probably you can help make a rapid departure of a negative relationship feel sad.

Here is the alternative, and be honest with yourself what dialogue will probably sound of your mother if you're a teenager.

Alternative dialogue

"How can you allow yourself to be treated like dirt? Where is the backbone? Your acting like an absolute WIMP. He uses, garbage, and treats you like a doormat. Why don't you just break up with him? What's wrong with you? You don't have a brain in your head? I can't stand him not leave this way of seeing. You are sad. I've never seen anything like this before. An attitude that indicate a spine. "

Your choice

The examples that you think your teen actually achieved? One feels supportive? What do you think that your teen will be faster answer? You should be able to respond faster and more honest if it was you?

I think I prefer the first subparagraph. I think I prefer to deal with loving support instead of preached. Let me ask you a question, now that you have a mature adult. Your MOM never talked with one of the ways described above? What I prefer to connect with and supported or preached?

If you're anything like most people who have feelings, I prefer to speak with the softer still in love and sincere manner. Truth should be spoken at all times. But how does all of the difference in the world are spoken.

I don't want anything more than able to thrive in your relationship with your teen. I am very much a mother, and nothing is more important to me in my teens. What I did was talk and behave with the opposite way which I have spoken with and treated when they grow up. I know how it feels to wish I had a parent that could really understand that me, my friend and my anxiety while he or she showed me that he or she really believed me.

I am convinced that you do not have to grow up, you probably want the same thing. Also, I dare to say that if your teen will not feel an incredible amount of loving unconditional support of you, your relationship is expired, when will you prefer deep in your heart that prosper. I hope at least that's what you prefer.

An exclusive excerpt from bestselling book God my dear, are teenagers. Please Help! (ISBN: 0974145777 Rose Group, april 2007) © Copyright 2007, 2011 by Barbara Sherry Rose, PhD-all rights reserved.

View the original article here

You have a friend operating?

Statistics show that adolescents from 1 to 3 has experienced violence in a dating relationship. Most is a partner who try to and control over others by type of abuse.

Most victims of dating violence are young women at risk higher injury. 16. The price per capita higher intimate violence experience of 24 - almost 1 women 50 years of women. (Office of the special report of justice: intimate partner violence, May 2001) Teen often dating violence is hidden, because teenagers are inexperienced, independent of their parents. and you are pressed for peers to begin dating at a young age.

Some young men to believe are entitled, "Set" or do you think will lose "Compliance" If you attention and support your small friends.

You are in error?

It might be thought, are the cause of the problem. Perhaps think his jealousy and Abusiveness really means that he loves you so he himself cannot control.
She might think, because you have friends who are abused, it is normal or think that you can change.

It would be mistaken for these counts and the statistics prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt. If your friend is now abusive, it will get no better, it gets really bad worse Wo, until one day it or even you kills. This is serious.

Ask yourself these questions; if you answer Yes to one or more of the following questions about youth, you're dating, are in danger, that a serious problem. Several are Yes it get a new friend.

Is the use of alcohol or drugs?

He has extreme mood fluctuations? As one minute and the next angry?

This is very jealous? It gets in competition with other young look?

He has used force during an argument or intimacy?

It has to blame other people type or herausreden on its problems?

It is oral unreasonable for you? (Cry of all time, bring down, call stupid, threatens you)?

He handled his mother with callous disrespect or medium is your computer? Small old friends, saying that he misused?

He tries or you control, to say that you can see where time?

Try to take away from your family or attempt, tell you him that he knows what is best for you and your family always wrong is dependent on the mark?

Again, if the two things is true, you must cancel and someone signs are far from it as possible to get it, because those who abused or abuse are women.