Time To Leave Your Toxic Relationship - Abusive Boyfriend

If you have been with your long time boyfriend who is abusive towards you, then it is time to leave your toxic relationship and stop putting yourself through undeserved torture. You are human, and you have feelings and self-worth. Being with some who is abusive towards you will only kill your self-esteem. You can only put up with the behavior for a certain limit but if it takes place constantly, you are only letting the abuse to break you down bit by bit without you realizing it. A relationship is suppose to be healthy, happy and bring out the best in you.

Time will not change him

One thing you cannot do is to change your boyfriend. Nobody can change anybody and if you try, it will only result to a fight or just a temporary result. However, you can change your reaction towards your boyfriend's abusive attitude towards you. Instead of giving in and letting him walk all over you until he is contented, you can change your attitude and stop him from having control when he starts to abuse you.

Give him a chance

You may think it is brutal to walk out on him just because he yells at you or just hit you. That is still unacceptable and you should find a time to talk to him when he is in a good mood. Talk through about what you can and cannot tolerate and why is he hurting you. If he didn't realize his actions, he will take note of what you say and try to control his behavior. If he threatens you, give you excuses like it was just a small deal and continue to behave like that, then you should remind yourself that he's got his chance and he blew it. You have every right to walk out on him.

Be firm

Maybe you are his object of gaining his confidence. If you have given him another chance but he blew it and is begging you to go back to him, don't soften your heart. In fact, to avoid such a dilemma, you should cut off all contacts from him and don't allow you to pester you and make you unsure of your decision.

A relationship is a two way thing. Besides trust and honesty, respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. It is common for people to lose self confidence, developed self-hatred and have distorted view of their self-worth if they had been affected by an abusive relationship. If your boyfriend is taking you for granted and is hurting you, then it is time to leave your abusive relationship.

Lea Anne helps her girlfriends by playing the role of Aunt Agony to help them by giving out her insights on relationship problems.For more of her write ups on dating and relationship advice, check out Healing From Your Break Up and the list of best guides.

Leave a Psychologically Abusive Relationship - 5 Steps to Success

A psychologically abusive, "toxic" relationship can be hard to define. However its effects can be as devastating as physical abuse. Lower self esteem, a feeling of helplessness and being trapped, and depression can result from repeated exposure to this kind of relationship. Fortunately, there are strategies to help you detach from a toxic relationship:

1. Listen to your gut instinct. If you feel badly around your partner, and worse about yourself, be aware this is not normal and should be paid attention to. A healthy relationship has conflict, but it should not leave you feeling awful about yourself on a regular basis. Verbal put downs may be blatant or subtle, public or private, but they are always damaging.

2. Listen to your trusted friends and family. These are the people who love you and know you best. If they express concern about the way you are being treated, pay attention to what they are saying. Remember, if they are people you are happy and safe around, they do not have the agenda to control your life like your toxic partner does.

3. Make advance preparations. If you are considering leaving, be sure you have a plan in place that includes making copies of all important records and documents and getting a credit card and a bank account in your own name. It is important to remove as much of your practical dependency on your partner as you can.

4. Gather professional resources around you. Enlist the services of a reputable attorney, a good counselor, a naturopath, and other support persons who can help you transition from hopelessness to empowerment. This network will help you successfully navigate the emotional and practical hurdles ahead.

5. Keep plans to yourself. Other than your trusted inner circle, keep plans to leave private from your abusive partner. He or she will only try to talk you out of leaving and employ whatever tactic necessary to prevent you from leaving. Remember, the most dangerous and difficult time in an abusive relationship is when you are leaving. If you have any fear for your safety or the safety of your loved ones, please consult with a mental health professional or women's crisis line in your area before leaving.

Relationship problems often go hand-in-hand with depression. For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Abusive Relationships - Why Doesn't She Just Leave For Crying Out Loud?

Almost as common as the question why doesn't she just leave are the answers. So why do people continue to ask? I suspect it is because a victim's staying in an abusive relationship is truly perplexing looking from the outside in.

Here are 3 clear explanations for why she doesn't just leave:

1) Unrealistic hopes, dreams, roles and perceived love, etc

Believe it or not she really does love him, or at least she thinks this is love. And she loves her fantasy of what her relationship should be like. An when she's married, she believes it's her job to be the peace-maker and family glue "til death do us/her part."

2) Commitment to the belief that there are insufficient resources

In her relationship, she has been groomed to believe that life support is external to self. Her relationship atmosphere of dominance, dependency and exclusivity does not support plentiful resources.

There are economic considerations, residential realities, children's lives and the daunting prospect of being this person's enemy. She knows it's easier to be his friend than to be his enemy...which leads us to number 3.

3) Realistic fear of the consequences of her leaving the relationship

She knows that when she leaves violence will escalate upon and after her departure. You see when a victim leaves an abusive relationship, her mere physical as well as emotional separation increases the perpetrators need to control his partner.

Abuse is about fundamentally about control. Violence maybe a manifestation of domestic abuse, but let's face it: abuse is fundamentally about control.

And the perpetrator can't bear to be out of control. When the perpetrator feels he's losing his grip, violence will escalate so as to re-engage control.

If you are looking from the outside in, come to the table with this understanding and you will be in a better position to help someone in an abusive relationship if and when they are ready to leave.

For a deeper understanding of what keeps abusive relationships going and ultimately what stops them, visit http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

? 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

How to Leave My Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship can come in many forms. For example some people are mentally, physically and/or spiritually abused. Abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Many victims don't even realize that they are in such a relationship. You know what I tell my clients--Open your eyes honey and take off the blinders. Anytime your mate makes you feel mighty low about yourself and constantly putting you down then you do not need them. The result of this is that your self-esteem is being chipped away slowly. The fact that you don't know that this is even happening, will cause you to lose sight of one-self. Not only do you lose sight of one-self but now you are finding and working harder just to please your mate anyway possible no matter what the cost maybe. What is the cost? The cost is your well-being. Why do we do this my brotha's and sista's?

Step 1 - Therefore the first thing that you must do is realize that you are in an abusive relationship. A true relationship is mutually supportive and encouraging and the fact that you can spend time talking with your mate without fear of being judged, shouted or worst physically violated. You don't attack one another personalities but can you give negative feedback with a view that your partner is basically good and that any negatives are a small part of who they are - not everything!

Step 2 -The second thing that you must do is realize that your safety comes first. Violence is never okay and if you have started excusing any violence towards you then your self esteem has really taken a toll. At this point you must get out because your life and well-being is at danger and there is no excuse in the world for violence, constant nit picking or verbal bullying. When leaving the abuser it is very important that you have a plan. When I say a plan--I mean an escape plan. Put together a plan so that you know exactly where you are going and how you are going to finance yourself.

Step 3 -The third thing that you must do is have the courage to split. Your mate may have brainwashed you making you think that you can't do anything without them and that nobody wants you--Well let me tell you something--I always tell my clients that there is somebody good for everybody. But you as the victim must realize that. You have been created and put on earth for a purpose. And it sure like heck is not to be someones personal punching bag. The thing you must know about your life is that you have choices. You have options. You have rights. It is up to you to take the action required to remove yourself, and your children if applicable, from any abusive situation. That is the only way possible to help the abuser. As long as you are there the atmosphere is unhealthy, the abuse escalates, the abuser becomes more aware of having a problem, the abuser denies responsibility for 'the problem', the abuser redirects the problem onto you. The abuser has no need to change.

Speak Sista Speak gives guidance and help people to develop positive, fulfilling relationships that fuel individuals and couples alike as well as touch on topics that deal with unhealthy relationships, relationship issues/problems. With over Ten years of experience in relationship counseling and advising, Speak Sista Speak has worked with hundreds of people on countless relationship issues.

We offer online consultations. To find out more go to [http://SpeakSistaSpeak.com/]

THATS the s * @! The Government of Taiwan ME MAD. .. Wal-Mart ALL BLACK people leave ... I, for one, will take their opinion says

and they want your money.

I am voting with your dollars. It is the minutes that you save your dignity worth? we know that this application of MOM and pop stores, not to unionize workers, but it is also a racist?!

Wal-Mart at the latest, "all black people leave a notice on the archive of New Jersey

ASSOCIATED PRESS

On Wednesday 17 March 2010, 11: 36 AM

DiMOS WASHINGTON town – officials of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. auditing security tapes to provide for a common southern New Jersey store used – say "all" hum "black people" to leave.

On Sunday night announced the archive in Washington Township, New Jersey, a male voice: "like Wal-Mart customers: let the store are now all blacks".

Witnesses that the journal Courier-post that customers and employees save in a waterbath. Management later apologized.

Ashley Hardie the spokesman of the company says that the incident was "unacceptable". the retailer to prevent this in the future.

Washington Township, Gloucester County, New York police and Prosecutor's Office also investigates.

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