A controlling relationship can have a huge impact on your life. It can limit you in so many ways and you end up feeling stressed, unhappy, and depressed.
It is important to emphasize this type of relationship comes into the category of an abusive relationship. This needs to be stated as there are many people who would not realize this.
When you know this, it is vital to examine the primary components of an abusive relationship and see how this relates to a controlling relationship.
Firstly, it means the controlling behavior is a way of dominating and holding power over the other person in the relationship.
It is usually the man who acts in such a way as this way of being tends to flow on from a belief that men are in charge in relationships and leads to a controlling relationship.
Taking on the aspect of being in charge follows from the commonly held belief, that men have a superior status or position and is seen as a way of supporting a controlling relationship.
Many men take on these beliefs because, not surprisingly, we are instructed to think this way, and encouraged to develop personalities where we dominate, leading to controlling in relationships.
It is even suggested this dominating and controlling behavior, that a lot of men display in relationships, is explained in such ways that it is due to their disposition, character, personality, makeup etc.
The only conclusion you could draw from such explanations about a controlling person in a relationship, is, that this is to be expected, and has to be accepted, and allowances need to be made.
There you are!! If you are experiencing signs of a controlling relationship, I'm sure that makes you feel a whole lot better and you now know how you can lead your life!!
Only kidding!! However, one does hear such things as women have to recognize how different men are from them, and the way to deal with some issues in relationships, is to make allowances for the controlling in relationships.
Before proceeding I need to say that these days we often hear such things as women in relationships can be as controlling and dominating as men in relationships.
My response to that is - poppycock! That is nonsense! I will acknowledge there are exceptions, but there is no comparison.
Throughout the world every day, women are killed, raped and live in fear. The culprits are the men who are their husbands/partners/boyfriends, who have been dominating and controlling them in their relationships.
Statistics tell us that 1 in 3 women throughout the world is subjected to abuse in their relationship. This is a huge problem and very little is being done about it.
I believe if we can find solutions to this dominating and controlling behavior in relationships, we can change the world and I want to be part of that process.
In fact, I personally think there is a solution to a controlling relationship. The issue is, for this to happen, men have to be open to the process, a lot of men are not.
Unfortunately, as it stands, with this dominating and controlling behavior in relationships that is widespread throughout the world, it is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved.
The solution that is available is a win/win for everyone. One of the things that gets in the way is the view that is very common and that is everything is a win/lose. That is if you're not winning you're losing.
In other words if men are caught up in dominating and controlling in relationships, they can think that if they are not doing that, then they are going to be dominated and controlled. It is like everything is a competition, and there are only winners and losers.
Are you ready for the solution - drum roll please! The thing about this is that it can seem anticlimactic, as it is not such a big deal, but the consequences are gigantic.
The solution to this whole thing about dominating, controlling and holding power over in
relationships, is to accept that as men and women we are of equal status!
There you have it! Doesn't seem such a big deal does it? Seems so simple. Yet I'm sure when this is in place throughout the world the changes will be phenomenal and there will no longer be any need for dominating and controlling in relationships.
Leo Ryan has been a relationship counselor for more than twenty years.He discovered inequality is a major problem and his focus is How To Have Equality in a Relationship. Go to his website: http://www.TheEqualRelationshipGuy.com and get a Free report about how to solve a common example of inequality in a relationship.
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