There are hundreds if not thousands of ways to tell whether or not you are dating a man who will end up being abusive, emotionally. Here, I will be focusing on 5 of those ways. Mostly because they are the ones most familiar to me and those of other women I know.
I was notorious for attracting the same kind of relationship, one after another, where I would end up feeling like I had to sacrifice a part of me to receive love from my partner. I was either too opinionated, not Christian enough, too real, too me, not hip, unable or unwilling to comply solely to their way of being, or in their eyes, simply not good enough.
Before I would come to my senses, every relationship would mirror the ones before, until finally I started to see the bigger picture. In essence, the pieces to the puzzle were being put into place by each relationship where I chose a path to learning and growth.
Obviously a lot easier said than done but it remains a fact from my own personal experience that until a wound is healed, it is not pain free. The physical wounds of sexual and physical abuse may heal but the emotional and psychological ones remain because the body will have its way of remembering the pain as if it was still happening.
And because the universe works in a glorious way to manifest our deepest and most often unconscious desires, we unknowingly attract through our relationships, life partners, friends, companions, husbands, and wives, that which speaks the loudest.
For me, it was a longing to be truly loved and adored by my mother and father, an experience that must have passed me by as a youth because those feelings were then transferred onto others in my personal relationships and partners. And as a result, I attracted partners and people in my life who were unable to step up to the plate when it came to real intimacy, which is what I sought on a subconscious level due to my emotional immaturity (pain).
So how is it that I can now recognize an emotionally healthy man from one who isn't? Here are the five ways:
Be aware of my own emotions (the healthy and the not so healthy ones) Adhere to the warning signs ( you know them - stop signs, red lights, this is the universe's way of saying do not come this way, so heed those signs) Maintenance cleaning (becoming emotionally healthy is a lifestyle, not an event) Emotionally investigate ( it's important not only to know where you are coming from but also where he has been, his wounds, and if he's been cleaning them out in a healthy way) Doing nothing
By doing nothing you are doing something to feed the wound that won't heal. We all have ways in which we can contribute to the evolution of our own emotional, mental, and spiritual self. No human being is perfect and no one man will be able to be your, everything. However, that is not to say that you should expect to be treated in an abusive fashion be it psychological, emotional, physical, or spiritual.
For me this life has been a stage for learning, living, and loving. And I'm finally happy to say that I can now see in myself what it is I long to find in another.
Just because you've been attracting abusive men doesn't mean they are all that way. Start your New Year off differently, learn what other women know about getting a man who is stable and compassionate.
[http://www.NoTime4Pain.com]
Felecia Townsend is a relationship enthusiast and personal coach. She has spent years learning the art of successful relationships and through her philanthropic writing is giving back to the community that has given her so much.
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