An abusive relationship can come in many forms. For example some people are mentally, physically and/or spiritually abused. Abuse occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Many victims don't even realize that they are in such a relationship. You know what I tell my clients--Open your eyes honey and take off the blinders. Anytime your mate makes you feel mighty low about yourself and constantly putting you down then you do not need them. The result of this is that your self-esteem is being chipped away slowly. The fact that you don't know that this is even happening, will cause you to lose sight of one-self. Not only do you lose sight of one-self but now you are finding and working harder just to please your mate anyway possible no matter what the cost maybe. What is the cost? The cost is your well-being. Why do we do this my brotha's and sista's?
Step 1 - Therefore the first thing that you must do is realize that you are in an abusive relationship. A true relationship is mutually supportive and encouraging and the fact that you can spend time talking with your mate without fear of being judged, shouted or worst physically violated. You don't attack one another personalities but can you give negative feedback with a view that your partner is basically good and that any negatives are a small part of who they are - not everything!
Step 2 -The second thing that you must do is realize that your safety comes first. Violence is never okay and if you have started excusing any violence towards you then your self esteem has really taken a toll. At this point you must get out because your life and well-being is at danger and there is no excuse in the world for violence, constant nit picking or verbal bullying. When leaving the abuser it is very important that you have a plan. When I say a plan--I mean an escape plan. Put together a plan so that you know exactly where you are going and how you are going to finance yourself.
Step 3 -The third thing that you must do is have the courage to split. Your mate may have brainwashed you making you think that you can't do anything without them and that nobody wants you--Well let me tell you something--I always tell my clients that there is somebody good for everybody. But you as the victim must realize that. You have been created and put on earth for a purpose. And it sure like heck is not to be someones personal punching bag. The thing you must know about your life is that you have choices. You have options. You have rights. It is up to you to take the action required to remove yourself, and your children if applicable, from any abusive situation. That is the only way possible to help the abuser. As long as you are there the atmosphere is unhealthy, the abuse escalates, the abuser becomes more aware of having a problem, the abuser denies responsibility for 'the problem', the abuser redirects the problem onto you. The abuser has no need to change.
Speak Sista Speak gives guidance and help people to develop positive, fulfilling relationships that fuel individuals and couples alike as well as touch on topics that deal with unhealthy relationships, relationship issues/problems. With over Ten years of experience in relationship counseling and advising, Speak Sista Speak has worked with hundreds of people on countless relationship issues.
We offer online consultations. To find out more go to [http://SpeakSistaSpeak.com/]
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