Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship? What are some signs of emotional abuse? Look for these suspicious behaviors which may be symptoms of a dysfunctional relationship, perhaps destined to become abusive.

Your partner ridicules you when you express yourself.
Your partner isolates you from friends and family.
Your partner limits your access to work, hobbies or money.
Your partner criticizes you, humiliates you and undermines your self worth.
Your partner has destroyed or threatened your property.
Your partner seems hot and cold in personality; very close then very distant.
Your partner steals from you or runs up a lot of debt.
Your partner makes you feel trapped in the relationships and afraid.
You feel as if you can't discuss anything with your partner.

There are also codependency symptoms to look for including:

Partner tends to be over-giving.
Partner must be in control at all times.
Partner finds needy people to care for.
Partner has an overactive sense of responsibility.
Partner feels victimized by the selfishness of others.
Partner tries to be all things to all people and has a problem setting boundaries.
Partner feels restless or bored when not involved in a crisis.
Partner looks for drama and chaos in life and then complains about it.
Partner gets angry when someone refuses help or ignores advice.
Partner is easy offended.
Partner tends to become self-righteous and a perfectionist.

It may be fairly obvious now that you are involved in either a codependent relationship, which may be fairly tolerable, or an abusive relationship, which is nearly impossible to live with. Your first reaction may be one of fear and anguish.

"But I love her!"

"But I can't live without him!"

These are common responses from partners accustomed to living with an abusive mate. These are not healthy responses, however. You have to treat abusive behavior like a mental illness, because it frequently is motivated by a partner's personality disorder. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean they are entitled to hurt you physically or jerk you around emotionally. You must work on your own self-esteem and improve your self-image before you can break this vicious cycle of behavior. Why? Because people with low self-esteem tend to tolerate abuse. They may subconsciously feel that they do not deserve a stable relationship. So they seek out doomed relationships in order to confirm their suspicions: that they're just going to screw up again.

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