Relationships all start beautifully - two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children. Especially for women, they always think that being with the one who sweeps her off her feet or who makes her heart flutter is always The One. However, this is not always true for all. Yes, some have succeeded, and yet there are still those many couples who do not succeed in keeping the love alive. Most often, after the "honeymoon" stage in a relationship, some people change - for the worse.
Sometimes, you might be inclined to say that these relationship abuses happen only in women who lack the necessary education. Truth is, even highly educated and well-accomplished women undergo the same thing as well.
Men who abuse women in whatever way are often thought of as sexist - probably thinking that males are better than females. A study conducted by experts show that most men who abuse women were themselves abused in their younger years. Thus, there is always the question about trust. These men may have confidence in their partners, but when they believe that their trust has been violated, in their mind, they think they have no other option but to resort to violence and abuse (whether physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual).
Since it is strongly believed that childhood experiences may have played a role in turning these men into abusers, it is possible that in their younger years, they have seen that in order to make women follow their whims, women should be subjected to physical pain. In some cases, abuse is also a reaction or a form of rebellion against females especially when the male had a negative experience with his mother. Unconsciously, he rebels against his mother through his partner especially when he sees some similarities between the mother and his partner's attitudes.
What are the signs that would tell you your partner is an abuser?
Some men initially show charm and care that women's hearts melt and inevitably, fall into the trap. Following are some indications that would tell you your man could be an abuser.
- He tells you sob stories about how a previous relationship ended and how his girlfriend broke his trust. Watch out if he has had several failed relationships.
- He is overly jealous and possessive of you that even the time you spend with your family and friends become an issue for him.
- He has a pompous attitude towards you - thinking that you are incapable of making your own decisions. This is due to his desire to control you and your actions and to make you feel dependent on him.
- He has a haughty outlook about women and believes that women are brainless.
- He has mood swings such that one time he is so sweet towards you, and abusive the next minute.
- He has unrealistic expectations of you and when he thinks you have "failed", he becomes very disillusioned about you for not meeting his expectations.
- He thinks that there is nothing wrong with the way he is treating you.
Bear in mind that men who are abusive by nature hardly ever change how they view things. You can try to slowly introduce him to the concept of him undergoing therapy, but get ready as well with the tirades that will be coming from him. If you see it's not going to change ever, then consider taking charge of your life and move on.
Amy Marie Chan also writes articles on baby boys shoes. See her most recent write-up about squeak shoes here.
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