Is Dating Abuse and Relationship Violence the Media Candy?

Have you heard the latest dating abuse story?

It does not matter the time, the month or the year, one popped into your head. Even worse is you probably thought of more than one. Recent cases of domestic abuse and dating abuse cases years old, cases that made you outraged and cases that made you cry. Relationship abuse is prevalent. While this is the case it is disturbing how much media is devoted to it.

Doesn't the media help?

The media attaches itself to domestic violence in most all its forms, mental abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse. Abuse and relationship violence cases draw in viewers and readers and the media outlet is thrilled with additional flow. Thus the case becomes important not so much to condemn the person causing the violence or to wish the victim well. The media is attached because of more business. The public is not really much better.

Why would people not want to help?

People search the media looking for the reason why the person was abused. "She made him angry." "He deserved being hit because..." "She should have just left." "Why didn't he take the children and leave?" There are multiple facets to every story. The media presents the relationship violence story in a singular fashion. Depending on the media outlet they may present the story only in a way to stir up commotion and comments and publicity.

What happens to victims?

Sometimes the domestic violence victims become further demoralized and victimized. People argue over the why did you or why didn't you, attacking the victim further. Often the victim was typically using the information available at the time to make the best decision they could. Looking back the decision may be different. Yet at the time there may have been worries about someone else getting hurt, the inability to get away, even that the abuse was some how deserved.

How can someone believe abuse is deserved?

Relationship abuse does not start off big. The problem with abuse is that it starts small, as the attacker starts breaking down a victim's morals, defenses, and self esteem. When the victim starts to get upset a gift will appear or enough apologies to keep the relationship going. It is followed by the promise it will not happen again. Yet it will. The next incident of dating abuse or relationship violence is a bit bigger than the one before.

What happens next?

If it involves a celebrity it becomes front page news. People point fingers, lawyers get involved, and the media gets more viewers. With a non-celebrity it becomes news when things get really out of hand. In either case there are songs written, music played that make the story seem almost pretty. While people who hear the songs think dating violence is okay and the cycle starts again. Where does it end?

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