Abuse in a marriage can be incredibly destructive. Depending on what form of abuse we're discussing, it can harm the physical, mental and emotional well-being of both partners. Marriages that are abusive can be saved only if both partners are willing to change.
The Face of Abuse
When most people think of abuse, physical abuse is what comes to mind. It is hard to hide the signs of this type of abuse.
Abuse, however, come in other forms. For instance, a spouse who degrades or insults his/her partner is mentally and emotionally abusing the other. Such abuse may not leave physical scars, but the damage goes much deeper.
Who's to Blame?
When caught up in an abusive relationship, it is easy for the abused spouse to assume the blame. That may sound counter-intuitive, but is a common reaction. And the abuser is often more-than-willing to let his/her victim own the responsibility.
Abuse usually has much deeper roots than either individual may realize. Most abusers have a history of being abused themselves, often living with low self-esteem. As a result, abusing one's spouse makes them feel better about themselves. Despite this, inflicting abuse is never okay - in fact it's cowardly.
Moving Through or Moving Out
It is the rare abusive relationship that fixes itself. Something significant - if not dramatic - needs to change for the marriage to heal. Most abusive marriages end in divorce, but this is not an inevitability.
Couples who hope to save an abusive marriage MUST be willing to change - both. The abuser has got to face him/herself and address the deeper issues behind the abuse. The spouse dealing with abuse must be willing to forgive, address their own shortcomings, and absolutely refuse to be an enabler for continued abuse.
If either partner is not willing to make the effort, all the counseling in the world will not save the marriage. When one partner refuses to accept his/her own side of the problem, moving out of the relationship may be the only remaining solution.
Making the Break
When there appears to be no chance of stopping the abuse, it is in the best interest of the abused spouse to make a clean break from the marriage. Continued abuse, statistically speaking, escalates as time goes on. Walking away from your marriage can be frightening, but no one should remain in an abusive relationship.
Usually stepping through the process of ending an abusive marriage will become ugly, and in some cases dangerous. Clearly, it is better if both spouses can mutually agree to make the break. However, most abusive spouses will not want to let go of their control. The abused spouse will need to be prepared to seek protection.
Trevor has been writing on a wide range of topics for several years. Not only does this author specialize in marriage improvement, but you can also check out his latest energy efficient refrigerators review website which reviews great refrigerator options at www.energyefficientrefrigeratorsreview.com for your energy efficient food storage needs.
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