What You Can Do to Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship

What can you do if someone you know is in an abusive relationship?

The first thing to realize is that the best option for anyone is to leave an abusive relationship. Leaving is the only real solution to this problem. Any other solution is not very good. Even if the abuser somehow has a radical awakening and becomes nice, the hurt the person went through will stay with them forever.

The best help is to strongly encourage them to leave and support them.

So the way to help someone is to tell them you think they should leave their abuser. You tell them you care about them and will help in whatever way you can. Be honest with how much you can help. Maybe they could stay with you for a few days. Maybe you could give them some money to tide them over. Maybe you can come to their house and remove them from the abuser.

The least you can do is to point them towards articles like this and books that explain how harmful it is to be abused. Every person deserves to live a good life free from abuse and information from people like me who were abused, who lived to talk about it and are so much better for leaving help.

You can tell the person that their life will be better after leaving. That is the truth.

I was married to a verbally abusive woman who I eventually had to leave. The way I was able to get strong enough to leave was to continuously read about verbal and mental abuse and how it was so harmful to a person. I read articles like this on the internet and books at the bookstore and the library.

When a person is being verbally abused they are just trying to survive. Thinking about all the possibilities in life does not hold very much meaning because the day-to-day pain of being verbally abused causes depression and a sense of dread and anxiety. Life is just not that good.

You can forward them the links to these types of articles. Please be careful with this. If the abuser sees this they will make the abused persons life more miserable. You really have to be careful. An abusive person is not a normal, nice person. They have issues and you do not know what they are capable of.

About the Author:

Hans Hallanger is The Organized Man. Check out the link http://www.organized-way.com/leave-your-wife.html to learn more about the eBook "How to Leave Your Wife."

Unhealthy Relationships - How to Recognize If You Or Someone You Love is in One

The relationship seemed so nice at first. You were a happy couple. You were two friends for life. Then things slowly changed. Or you grew up in the relationship and it has always been this way. Either way you know that it is not quite a healthy relationship.

Are your other relationships disappearing?

If the only relationship you have is with just one person then something is not healthy. Perhaps your friend or partner tells you what is wrong with other people until slowly it becomes only the two of you. This results in you slowly being cut off from your friends, family and others. This way when there are problems you have no one to turn to for support.

Do you trust each other?

While a little jealousy may be harmless, constant jealousy is damaging. This results in one person attacking and accusing the other of things when they are not together. There is no trust because at some level the unhealthy emotionally abusive relationship is known, and one or both of you may fear that realization.

Are demands unrealistic?

By setting demands high they become unreachable. This allows for failure so the blame game can start. The insults, belittling and remarks of being stupid, incapable and other remarks fly. Slowly confidence and ego are destroyed allowing for greater control by the abuser.

Do you do anything to keep the peace?

If a conflict terrifies you, then your relationship is far from healthy. While many people dislike conflict, if it means hours of fighting the something is not right. A healthy relationship means sharing and compromise. This is a person who wants ultimate control.

Are you allowed to be an individual?

Just because you are in a relationship with someone it does not mean you should like all the same things. You may not like the same food, you may have separate hobbies. You should not have to pretend to like something or do something you do not want to keep the peace.

Are there threats, violence or force used?

Just because you have never been hit does not mean it is a healthy relationship. Abusing animals can escalate to you. Threats, acting like they are going to hit you, and forcing control over you are all signs that things will are not good. The forced control may be emotional, mental, physical, or sexual.

How do I get out of the unhealthy relationship?

Getting out of the relationship can be hard. This type of relationship is full of super highs and super lows which can become addictive and obsessive. It can also be terrifying getting away from that person. If your support structure was destroyed in the relationship you may not feel like you can turn to anyone. True family and friends will be there. Look for support groups. You deserve to be loved for who you are. You deserve a healthy relationship.

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