Graham crackers<3></3>

I decided that the official food of my blog graham crackers.
Why?
Brookelyn always gave me a Graham cracker in history. History was also the period that I got most of my entry was issued. So, this really only makes since ...
Plus, it's really tasty grahamcrackers: 3
And you can participate in the s'mores: D
YAY!
It starts a 5 week training to lose weight fast c:
I found that at the age of 40 ish should be tested for a very difficult disease.
Constantly afraid friend now for me. I'm still not even 20. I have some time. I suppose it just like the idea.
However, the only way to get it if you don't I would myself. This disease is called metabolic syndrome. And of course enough symptoms. If you can get a lot of weight and you have diabetes, you're pretty much risk.
And I think that makes it a good reason to stay fit and vegetarian!<>
What do you think?: 3 I really enjoy playing nerdy and PocketFrogs until like 3 am is just as I angry birds. But it is much more fun, and you really can't beat. Plus it is not violent and not swine or exploding birds injured in the process. : D

Connection: Single birthday: birthday: March 9 brothers: color (13) of the eye: Katie Hazel Height: 5 ' 4 "favorite animals: Girrafes, ostriches. Favorite eye color: Blue/Green/Brown (pronunciation: mother: My Favorites

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Weddings = magnets drama

My cousin (or something), Daniel, married the beautiful Kelsey on June 17,2011. The marriage was very nice. A downside.
Papa shower kind of made it all about him. The formula always talk and always found a way to include himself in the process. He had written a song for Kelsey and, Yes, it was fun but had such a big ego that kind of lost appeal.
Most of the children playing with these balls really strange gelatin type. It was strange and liquid. (Ignore the last two sentences)
The garden that the marriage took place in was beautiful. There was also a cute cat walk around randomly. So, certify brownie points. : 3 were also nice canolis ... (I'm a fattyyyyy)
~~~
Anyway, I would like to tell you all something. I FREAKING CHIMEIAS. I took a 73<>
Oh my goodness, I was delighted to get!!
I hope you're proud of me.
~~~
I'm leaving for Joplin quickly, but you lose two month with my boyfriend<3… i'm="" leaving="" the="" 27th="" and="" our="" monthaversary="" is="" the="">
I was pinky swear that are we going to do something horrible in the second I got back. Any ideas?
~~~
On the friend, allow me to borrow an from the books by Dean Koontz ... It is very good, writes in a very interesting way: 3 (not as good as Bram Stoker … but it's good) I suppose I would recommend (:

I love you guys, hope you can keep reading.<3>

Connection: Single birthday: birthday: March 9 brothers: color (13) of the eye: Katie Hazel Height: 5 ' 4 "favorite animals: Girrafes, ostriches. Favorite eye color: Blue/Green/Brown (pronunciation: mother: My Favorites

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Damaging Relationships - 3 Signs the Relationship Should Be Over

Relationships are challenging even when both parties are healthy and well balanced. A successful relationship in this case can be achieved through effort and commitment on the part of both parties. There are relationships, however, where no amount of effort on your part will prevent the damaging effects of staying with your partner. There are toxic scenarios where the best thing truly is to end the relationship. Here are 3 signs that your relationship should end:

1. There is abuse in the relationship. If you are being physically abused, please contact a domestic violence shelter or a counselor who specializes in that issue to get advice. Physical abuse typically escalates, and the most dangerous time is generally at the time of leaving the relationship. You will need guidance on the safest plan for exiting your particular situation successfully. If you are being put down, made to feel inferior, incompetent, or crazy, there is a good chance you are being emotionally or psychologically abused. In this case, the effects may not be as outwardly noticeable, but they are extremely damaging. Loss of self worth and depression frequently results.

2. There is untreated, active addiction in your partner. Your partner, if actively using drugs and/or alcohol, is not fully present in the relationship. The substance will always win out over you, and you are likely to end up in a cycle of crisis management with your partner that may leave little mental energy for you to focus on your own life, dreams, and ambitions. You may be impacted by legal and financial trouble if your partner ends up prosecuted or sued for behavior while intoxicated (like a DUI). You may even be in physical danger if, for example, you get in a car with your partner who has been using, and you have an accident.

3. Your partner commits serial infidelity. It is possible for a relationship to become stronger after an affair, if both parties are willing to work hard, open lines of communication, and be accountable to one another. However, if there is a pattern of unfaithfulness, there is no opportunity for trust to be rebuilt, and there is no foundation for a relationship. In addition, you place your health at risk by staying in a non-monogamous relationship.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Controlling Relationship - It is Important to Realize This is an Abusive Relationship

A controlling relationship can have a huge impact on your life. It can limit you in so many ways and you end up feeling stressed, unhappy, and depressed.

It is important to emphasize this type of relationship comes into the category of an abusive relationship. This needs to be stated as there are many people who would not realize this.

When you know this, it is vital to examine the primary components of an abusive relationship and see how this relates to a controlling relationship.

Firstly, it means the controlling behavior is a way of dominating and holding power over the other person in the relationship.

It is usually the man who acts in such a way as this way of being tends to flow on from a belief that men are in charge in relationships and leads to a controlling relationship.

Taking on the aspect of being in charge follows from the commonly held belief, that men have a superior status or position and is seen as a way of supporting a controlling relationship.

Many men take on these beliefs because, not surprisingly, we are instructed to think this way, and encouraged to develop personalities where we dominate, leading to controlling in relationships.

It is even suggested this dominating and controlling behavior, that a lot of men display in relationships, is explained in such ways that it is due to their disposition, character, personality, makeup etc.

The only conclusion you could draw from such explanations about a controlling person in a relationship, is, that this is to be expected, and has to be accepted, and allowances need to be made.

There you are!! If you are experiencing signs of a controlling relationship, I'm sure that makes you feel a whole lot better and you now know how you can lead your life!!

Only kidding!! However, one does hear such things as women have to recognize how different men are from them, and the way to deal with some issues in relationships, is to make allowances for the controlling in relationships.

Before proceeding I need to say that these days we often hear such things as women in relationships can be as controlling and dominating as men in relationships.

My response to that is - poppycock! That is nonsense! I will acknowledge there are exceptions, but there is no comparison.

Throughout the world every day, women are killed, raped and live in fear. The culprits are the men who are their husbands/partners/boyfriends, who have been dominating and controlling them in their relationships.

Statistics tell us that 1 in 3 women throughout the world is subjected to abuse in their relationship. This is a huge problem and very little is being done about it.

I believe if we can find solutions to this dominating and controlling behavior in relationships, we can change the world and I want to be part of that process.

In fact, I personally think there is a solution to a controlling relationship. The issue is, for this to happen, men have to be open to the process, a lot of men are not.

Unfortunately, as it stands, with this dominating and controlling behavior in relationships that is widespread throughout the world, it is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved.

The solution that is available is a win/win for everyone. One of the things that gets in the way is the view that is very common and that is everything is a win/lose. That is if you're not winning you're losing.

In other words if men are caught up in dominating and controlling in relationships, they can think that if they are not doing that, then they are going to be dominated and controlled. It is like everything is a competition, and there are only winners and losers.

Are you ready for the solution - drum roll please! The thing about this is that it can seem anticlimactic, as it is not such a big deal, but the consequences are gigantic.

The solution to this whole thing about dominating, controlling and holding power over in
relationships, is to accept that as men and women we are of equal status!

There you have it! Doesn't seem such a big deal does it? Seems so simple. Yet I'm sure when this is in place throughout the world the changes will be phenomenal and there will no longer be any need for dominating and controlling in relationships.

Leo Ryan has been a relationship counselor for more than twenty years.He discovered inequality is a major problem and his focus is How To Have Equality in a Relationship. Go to his website: http://www.TheEqualRelationshipGuy.com and get a Free report about how to solve a common example of inequality in a relationship.

Time To Leave Your Toxic Relationship - Abusive Boyfriend

If you have been with your long time boyfriend who is abusive towards you, then it is time to leave your toxic relationship and stop putting yourself through undeserved torture. You are human, and you have feelings and self-worth. Being with some who is abusive towards you will only kill your self-esteem. You can only put up with the behavior for a certain limit but if it takes place constantly, you are only letting the abuse to break you down bit by bit without you realizing it. A relationship is suppose to be healthy, happy and bring out the best in you.

Time will not change him

One thing you cannot do is to change your boyfriend. Nobody can change anybody and if you try, it will only result to a fight or just a temporary result. However, you can change your reaction towards your boyfriend's abusive attitude towards you. Instead of giving in and letting him walk all over you until he is contented, you can change your attitude and stop him from having control when he starts to abuse you.

Give him a chance

You may think it is brutal to walk out on him just because he yells at you or just hit you. That is still unacceptable and you should find a time to talk to him when he is in a good mood. Talk through about what you can and cannot tolerate and why is he hurting you. If he didn't realize his actions, he will take note of what you say and try to control his behavior. If he threatens you, give you excuses like it was just a small deal and continue to behave like that, then you should remind yourself that he's got his chance and he blew it. You have every right to walk out on him.

Be firm

Maybe you are his object of gaining his confidence. If you have given him another chance but he blew it and is begging you to go back to him, don't soften your heart. In fact, to avoid such a dilemma, you should cut off all contacts from him and don't allow you to pester you and make you unsure of your decision.

A relationship is a two way thing. Besides trust and honesty, respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. It is common for people to lose self confidence, developed self-hatred and have distorted view of their self-worth if they had been affected by an abusive relationship. If your boyfriend is taking you for granted and is hurting you, then it is time to leave your abusive relationship.

Lea Anne helps her girlfriends by playing the role of Aunt Agony to help them by giving out her insights on relationship problems.For more of her write ups on dating and relationship advice, check out Healing From Your Break Up and the list of best guides.

5 Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship

You'd think it would be simple enough to know if you are in an abusive relationship. Everyone has a clear idea of what domestic violence looks like. Most of the time, they would be right in their assessment - except, perhaps, when assessing relationships that are exclusively mentally, and emotionally, abusive.

Most of the time you would be right in your assessment or whether or not a relationship is abusive except...

When it comes to your own.

There is a widespread, dangerous, tendency to underestimate the importance of mental and emotional abuse. Because a degree of verbal abusiveness is commonplace in our society, it is interpreted as "normal".

In reality, being common doesn't make something normal, or acceptable. Being common doesn't make it any less deplorable. But, on the interpersonal level, we all tend to minimize the importance of bullying, hurtful, or destructive words and behavior.

How does that pan out in intimate abusive relationships?

It means the abused party in the relationship takes the longest time to realize the true nature of their relationship.

Nobody ever wants to believe that "it" has happened to them. The first law of abusive relationships is this: "abusive relationships happen to other people, less fortunate than me, a long, long way from here."

Sign 1

That brings us to the first sign. You spend a fair amount of your time justifying your partner's behaviour to other people, and telling yourself that things really aren't all that bad. Perhaps it's not that bad because at least he doesn't hit you; or, perhaps, he only hits you when he's drunk, or really angry; or, maybe, he only treats you like dirt every once in a while.

And that makes it almost okay... doesn't it?

And almost okay is almost good enough...

Or, at least, that's what you try to tell yourself.

That line of argument is correctly called "minimizing". It requires you to ignore, deny, or underplay the seriousness of your partner's ill treatment. At the same time, you exaggerate his charms, his qualities, and the love you share - allegedly.

(As a general principle, when someone treats you like their worst enemy, it suggests that whatever love there was has become pretty threadbare.)

Sign 2

You feel as if you are walking on eggshells a lot of the time.

Your partner's mood can change, in the blink of an eye. When it does, things get ugly, emotionally and/or physically. Of course, when that happens, it's all your fault. You provoked your abusive partner by overstepping the mark. You know that because he told you so.

In fact, he tells you that every time he explodes. That's why you're walking on eggshells. Somehow, you never manage to get it right for terribly long. If only you could, you would earn his love and appreciation - allegedly.

Sign 3

You've put your own life on hold.

In an abusive relationship, you spend your life trying to please your partner - or, at least, trying not to displease him. The net result is that his feelings, wishes, and responses become much more important than your own.

This is the deal: your abusive partner expects you to fit your life around his. If that means you don't have much of a life, then so be it. As a woman, your most important role is to service your partner. That's his belief, and you tend to agree with it. All you would like is a little acknowledgement, and the occasional sign of affection.

You expect to sacrifice yourself for your children. You see that as normal. It becomes difficult when you have to juggle his needs and the children's.

He has to feel that he is the priority, at all times - which leaves you with no time, or energy, to look after yourself.

Sign 4

You really don't believe you could ever manage without him.

In an abusive relationship, your partner tells you how inadequate you are, over and over again - that's what makes you so incredibly lucky to have him.

That's what he tells you; and that's what you come to believe.

So, you end up disliking yourself as much as he dislikes you. And you end up believing you are as inadequate as he says you are. Which means you end up relying on your abusive relationship for your very survival.

That's why you feel stuck, with no room for manoeuvre, between a rock and a hard place.

Sign 5

You've become a shadow of the woman you once were.

You don't laugh any more. You don't have friends you let close to you - because you wouldn't want them to know what really goes on. Besides, you have probably forgotten how to let someone get close to you.

You're anxious the whole time. Perhaps you abuse food, or alcohol, or feel depressed most of the time. Certainly, you feel drained and empty.

The worst thing is you've stopped dreaming. You've stopped envisioning a future in which your dreams, hopes, and ambitions will ever come true.

You've stopped hoping for pretty much everything - apart from him turning back into the man you fell in love with.

Your life has become an emotional desert. But still you might be asking yourself: "Is this emotional abuse?"

If you recognise the signs, you're in an abusive relationship

If you recognise the 5 signs, rest assured not only are you in an abusive relationship, but it's taken a severe toll on your emotional health. Your abusive relationship has left you feeling weak, worthless, and unlovable. That's exactly what an abusive relationship is designed to do. An abusive relationship exists to satisfy the craving for power and control of the abusive partner. That's bad news, certainly, but it's not hopeless.

Let the 5 signs of an abusive relationship, finally, sound the alarm for you. However bad it's been, and however long it's gone on, you're not too late to get out, get over it, and create a joyful life for yourself.

If you've been stuck in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship, leading Emotional Abuse Recovery Expert, Dr Annie Kaszina, can help.

Annie has given many hundreds of women, worldwide, the courage to make changes in their life, believe in their own value, trust their own judgements, and create healthy relationships for themselves. Find out more and sign up for your free 7 day e-course: "7 Things You Need To Know To Truly Heal" at: http://www.RecoverFromEmotionalAbuse.com

Emotional abuse and your faith

Faith-the light of God surrounds me

As a woman of faith, and seeing so many conditions search engine for my blog, looking for answers about how faith and abuse of potentially fit together, you don't need to do a paltry attempt to respond to this point. I was in the 1960s, and by then the society religious dogma taught that a woman has to obey her husband. Even in our marriage vows. I have my Bible, digging around and I scripts that us to tell each other, we want to love one another, to have faith like a grain of mustard seed can find. I had faith. I had a lot of faith. I prayed every day for many years that God would change my husband was married, as a reason to stop the emotional and verbal abuse. This only exacerbated in recent years. Is God not listening? I think it was, and I think he's a kind of divine design, but when you have finished told how useless, fat, ugly and how nobody gives a rat's ass about you, you start to believe it. I've heard words like, "you're going to want to do with two children in tow?" or "do you think someone really so stupid if you want to go?", I mean, I had qualified for the acceptance of women teaching College and decided to give because he convinced me to go and an old maid for the rest of my days. I knew I had smart at some point, but this apparently had disappeared, at least according to what I was told. So, I began to hate myself ... at the point of suicide. Nothing can stop my lasting pain.

Well, put me on a place of disobedience of the other script. You can see, right there in bright red letters that I am love others as I love myself. The fact that I had with me self hatred in the category of sin, as the Church declares it. How can we possibly others if we don't have a certain degree of respect for ourselves?

Emotional and verbal abuse is removed from the dignity of this from our side. Eventually leads us to a point of desperation and without hope there is no trust. So I did what any self-respecting Christian woman do in my shoes — began to pray that God will touch dead. Okay, I've long since repented to such an attitude.

You see, with all the prayers that I prayed, emotional and verbal abuse escalated to physical violence. Pastor preached a sermon about how physical abuse committed by the husband-wife breaks the Covenant of marriage. So, basically, now I understand that adultery is not the only Biblically sound for termination of a relationship. It would encourage divorce. I strongly temporarily relieve strongest Christian koinotarches the risks associated with counseling together the two parties. The woman your revictimizing. It is not stable enough to handle and have no idea what it would get in return. Believe me, there. I learned to keep my mouth shut and constantly threatened with my life as much as you dare open my mouth to speak of what happens behind closed doors.

What do we do with our faith in the Centre of abuse? We hang on to this with all our forces. We believe that God is in control, and in the background for us properly. Find good sound advice (in faith or secular) that fully the complexity of violence and abuse understands. Find a lawyer who has traveled this routes at night and his own way in the light of the renewed hope and restoration of confidence. Develop a security plan and a security code word or phrase with a friend or relative coordinate. More importantly, we understand that the abuse will continue for the rest of our lives is our only option. And just maybe, we will continue to visit this blog and read more posts about the abuse, intelligence and the implementation of our own set of circumstances.

Carolyn is an advocate for domestic violence and sexual abuse awareness, also focused on sexual abuse of children. This is a direction and Empowerment coach, working with victims and survivors of molestation, sexual assault, domestic violence or spousal abuse and training to organizations that try to help the victims. Listen to the interview with Carolyn with Cynthia Brennen, help, hope and healing. "visit everyday health, emotional well-being, website or blog at orangeblossomwishes.com.

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Battering and Abusive Relationships - 5 Insights For Breaking the Cycle of Domestic Abuse

When you're not serving up what your abusive partner desires, what happens? The tension grows until he/she smacks you-emotionally, verbally or physically-as though to shake you awake and release the conflict within him/her. Sound familiar?

If you're living in an abusive relationship with your intimate partner, your child, or some other family member or friend, you know these dynamics like the back of your hand.

Also note that having words for them is another thing. Read on to clarify these points of conflict in your abusive relationship so you may better cope with your own personal experience.

1) The assault is not about you. Rather, it is the other person's maneuver to bring about comfort within themselves. In that moment, the battering person is seeking to resolve their own felt loss of control wherein they are not getting what they long to obtain.

2) The battering is truly a means to an end and not the end in itself. You may notice as the battering is delivered, it can be released without any relationship to the context from which the conflict emerged.

3) The batterer shows a marked release of inward tension following the assault. And you are left wondering why the heck this person is having the appearance of well-being... all in the face of your demise.

4)You feel violated and confused. You experience the hurt...the ouch... yet it's complicated. Unlike stubbing your toe, wherein you know the connection between the blow and its impact, this hurt confuses you. You don't know if you're being punished, poorly treated or if something in you contributed to the delivered assault.

5) BOTTOM LINE: Beware not to assume responsibility for the battering. If you do, you are enabling the abuse dynamic. Why? Because it then becomes your "Job" to alter the state of affairs preceding the assault. And we know that state of affairs exists within the batterer.

For more information about healing from and signs of abusive relationships, browse our resources at http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/ebooks.php, and get Free Instant Access to your survivor success eInsights.

Dr Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010, Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Abusive Relationship Healing - 5 Tips For Lifting Depression After Your Abusive Relationship

It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it's no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser.

What is it that makes it possible for these people to heal their depression? The following actions to avoid, and steps to take, are essential to the resolution of depression for domestic abuse survivors.

1) Stop Negative self-talk

Even though you might be accustomed to hearing how you can't, you won't, you don't, you aren't, there is no need for you to pick up where s/he left off. Doing so only sustains the battering. Only difference is it's from the inside out.

2) Un-shoulder responsibility for battering

Un-shoulder any remnants of your shouldering responsibility for the abuse. Battering is fully owned, operated and controlled by the perpetrator and no one else. Your willingness to shoulder the responsibility for the abuse is part of what keeps the abuse dynamic going. Let it go! It's not yours.

3) Avoid self-deprivation

Self-deprivation may have been the norm in your former kingdom and that's where it must remain. One may be accustom to being consumed by, and preoccupied with, taking care of the needs of the "other" (a demanding perpetrator), rather than recognizing and caring for oneself. This keeps you in the "I am abused position." Instead, it is time to know, honor and nourish yourself in every way, shape and form that is physically possible for you.

4) Cultivate Self-compassion

When the blow hurts and the pain aches, embrace it. Running from it prevents it from resolving itself. Exercise self-compassion. Be with yourself just as you would be with a small child who is wounded in a playground.

5) Find and rekindle that which you love...that comes from within

"That comes from within" is the key to this one. Now this may be the hard one because so much time has been spent on not recognizing anything is within. It is of utmost importance that you find that which you love...that comes from within, and make this your primary focus. As you focus on it, it will expand. You know what you focus on expands. That which we bring energy to brings more of it onto us.

Bonus Tip: Focus on what you have; not what you don't have. You've been inundated with the message that you aren't enough...you're amiss in this, that and the other. Over time you develop the habit of seeing yourself as the half-empty cup. Shift your perspective and see yourself as the half-full cup. With this your cup will fill with more of what is right with you.

If you do all of these things, your depression will lift.

And under that you will discover the goodness that you are, the happiness you can be and your love of life again. For more domestic violence healing insights, claim your free Survivor Success Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people identify, end and heal abusive relationships.

© 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D. PreventAbusiveRelationships.com

Trapped in a Toxic Relationship? - 4 Signs it Might Be Time to Let Go

Relationships require effort, commitment, and love to be successful. With two emotionally balanced individuals who are motivated, a happy, fulfilling relationship is well within reach. However, there are instances where the relationship has an unbalanced and damaging dynamic in place that causes harm to one or both partners. It might feel as if no amount of effort improves things. Certain actions and behaviors on the part of one or both partners can render a relationship a destructive and damaging thing. Here are 4 signs it might be time to let go of the relationship:

1. Abuse. Any kind of abuse is damaging, whether it be physical or emotional. Physical abuse, of course, is extremely dangerous, and if you are in this situation please contact a domestic violence shelter and get professional help to determine the best plan of action for you. If you are being emotionally abused, be aware that the scars may not be visible, the psychological damage is significant. Being constantly told you are inferior, incompetent, or crazy lowers self esteem and can even lead to depression.

2. Infidelity on a serial or ongoing basis. An affair can end up resulting in a stronger marriage if both partners recommit, and much better communication and accountability is put into place. But repeated and serial infidelity takes on almost a compulsive nature and is a different scenario. There is no foundation for a relationship without trust, and you may actually be risking your physical health staying in a non-monogamous relationship.

3. Personality disorders are present. This "hard wiring" of the personality can cause may problems in a relationship. Disorders such as narcissism and sociopathy/psychopathy leave the individual unable to sustain emotional depth and connection with another, prevents lasting change, and contributes to harmful and destructive behaviors.

4. Addiction is present and your partner is unwilling to accept or seek any help for the problem. An addict who is actively using is going to be most preoccupied with getting the next fix and will not be able to prioritize the relationship. The consequences of the addict's behavior may negatively impact you as well, in legal of financial matters (DUI's, accidents, etc). it may be very tempting for you to lose yourself in the relationship, and constantly be on crisis management duty.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

How to Stop Abuse From Your Partner

Are there reliable tricks to find if the whole rock on which your relationship was built is unstable and may cause a sudden crumble? It is not easy to tell that. Most of the times anyway, people realize the underlying faults only when the relationship has already taken a hit. Abuse is rampant and physical torture is a red flag.

The first time somebody is abused in a relationship, it is common to find that being forgiven, even without the issue of abuse being addressed. Many times there will be other side shows that lead to a compromise. However, it is recommended that you flee early.

When you are in a toxic relationship and still feel that you want to continue in it, you should think about all the possibilities. You need to know what you are getting into. A one sided relationship is not healthy at all. In many cases, one is just braving it all so that they enjoy some benefit.

Choosing to remain in an abusive relationship is a warrant to destruction. No sane person can be okay staying in a self serving relationship like that. It is a display of weakness instead of strength.

If you can master the strength to walk out of a partnership of this degree, you are oozing with hunger to redeem yourself. It is showing that it is high time you got out of one sided ones that do not bear much fruit. No human being deserves to be treated like that by someone they love.

At this level, you cannot still be trying to reason with an abusive partner. They have had three strikes. Everything else you have to say is just about nothing to a person like that.

Do not suck up to his friends. You can cut those ties and not feel anything. This shows complete washing of hands.

For those who you felt were really genuine people, you can just explain to them that it is nothing they did wrong to deserve that. Let them know that you are only concerned about safety.

100k plus jobs including pharmacy technical are reviewed in my website.

What's an Unhealthy Relationship? Part 1

While many people desire a meaningful romantic relationship in their lives, not all such relationships are created equal. A healthy relationship is mutually loving, respectful, and fulfilling for both partners. When both partners are emotionally well balanced and committed to each other, with good communication a happy relationship can be achieved. However, sometimes individuals bring personal issues into the relationship that can prove destructive to the other partner and the relationship. When damaging behaviors in a relationship interfere with the emotional, spiritual, or physical well being of either partner, the relationship becomes unhealthy and toxic.

Most people recognize that physical abuse, rampant drug or alcohol abuse, or affairs can cause significant damage and harm the traumatized partner in such a relationship. However, there are more subtle forms of emotional abuse (which can escalate to physical abuse). If you are feeling inferior, incapable, worthless, or crazy with your partner, this merits a closer examination into the true relationship dynamic. Sometimes emotional abuse is characterized by name calling, but it can also occur with repeated "suggestions" about how to do all manner of regular daily tasks "right."

One common aspect of emotional abuse is that it is designed to control the other party. You might be discouraged or prohibited from seeing certain people, dissuaded from pursuing new job or employment opportunities, coerced into sex (or denied affection), or "required" to give an account of your daily activities. In all cases, your partner is motivated by a desire to control your behavior and keep you dependent in the relationship.

By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?

For a free copy of my ebook, "Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html

Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and "difficult" divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.

Male Privilege and the Excuse for Battering in Intimate Relationships

People speak of male privilege as though it is the cause and curse of abusive relationships. It is the underlying social cultural justification for his entitlement...his "one up man-ship"...and the actions that support his getting his way, including his battering behavior.

I think it is just one of the ways abusers control the female intimate partners they abuse. It is a means to leverage power and control in an intimate relationship.

For example, when a batterer justifies his making unilateral decisions that affect both parties in the relationship because of his "male privilege," he is merely using this control tactic as means to an end. It is one of his ways of establishing and maintaining an unequal distribution of power and control within the relationship.

Male Privilege and Domestic Violence

If you are in an abusive relationship, you are most likely aware of this common strategy employed to keep you "in your place." However, are you aware that your embracing the cultural bias of male privilege is your part in your owning that submissive status?

It is also possible that you can recognize socialized "male privilege" and not let it tip the power and control scale in your intimate relationship. Here how...

Shattering the Expectation of Gender Biased Control

Let's say that you, too, are of the social persuasion that men are elevated relative to women. You can recognize this bias within yourself and not let it become your justification for your victimization?

As you cultivate the ability to do this, you set in motion a relationship expectation that gender does not support and sustain the distribution of power and control within your relationship.

For more information about ending abuse against women, browse our resources at http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php, and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

How Abusive Action Can Destroy Relationship

Abusive relationship is the most destructive form of a relationship. It is not even a relationship, it is just wrong actions and behavior repeatedly done to a person or to a group of people. The action can be done in physical or in verbal and they are both deadly.

Usually a person uses physical abuse as the way to make them feel in control over their partner. They thought by power they can win their control and respect from their partner but eventually it just bring disrespect and hatred from their partner. They use pain as their weapon to win against their partner.

Verbal abusive means using harsh and negative words to another person. Yelling, shouting and sometimes bullying is the most common practice of verbal abusive. They mock the person and keep on taunting them with threats, taunts and so on. They sometimes can hurt people worse than physical abuse because they hurt the person feeling and it can distract their confidence and disturb their self-esteem.

Dealing with that kind of person need extra patience and understanding. You have to prepare your self well if you face these type of people. You have to address the problem right because it is not the person that you do not like but it is their behavior that you do not like. You care about him or her and that is why you want them to change because you know that they need to change if they want to be a better person.

Jaxky Lim wants to share his knowledge about home and kitchen appliances. Based on real life experiences, his Black and Decker blender parts site is created to share those resources so men and women all around the world can benefit from it.

Domestic Violence and Self-Esteem - Conditioned Disassociation in Abusive Relationships

Abused intimate partners do come in all shapes and sizes, and most definitely there are some themes characterizing them. Some people will tell you low self-esteem is one of these characteristics. But what came first: the chicken or the egg?

I would venture to say it could go either way. I see an inordinate number of highly functioning, high-end professionals, well educated and with a six-figure income who are abused by their intimate partners.

What I notice is these women and men evidence "conditioned disassociation." This conditioning is how he/she grows to disregard him/herself.

Over time, the abused partner grows to see him/herself as they are told they are seen by their intimate partners. And much approval is received for this "internalized personal perception."

But when apart from the abusive partner, these individuals may drop the internalized personal perception and become who they really are. They are authentic, they are vital, they are themselves at least until they return to their abusive partners.

So what came first the chicken or the egg? Looking closer, as we have, opens the door for significant insight on how to shed the internalized personal perception of the abusive partner. Doing so gives new life to those once abused.

If you find yourself becoming what your former partner expected, and in many cases desired, recognize the operative conditioning in play. I've heard people say they became depressed following an encounter with an abuser they recently left.

It's noted that the depressed feeling is the "face" put on in the presence of that person as though reflexively becoming as expected by the former partner. And with that down-depressed radiance set in the genuine feeling of the blues.

Reach back for yourself above and beyond the expectation and desire of the abusive ex-partner. You'll be pleasantly surprised and happy you did.

If you want deeper understanding of what maintains and what prevents abusive relationships, see the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen®
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals, families and healthcare professionals recognize and end domestic abuse.

© 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.
PreventAbusiveRelationships.com
EndDomesticAbuse.org

Because I'm not gone on a date soon

This can is funny but also very sad and true; the eight stages of dating ...

http://www.noob.us/pictures/8-Phases-of-dating/

And then there's this concerning free sites for appointment.

http://www.noob.us/pictures/trolling-Women-on-a-dating-site/

And Maura m. Kelly, wife of James (Jim) g. Kelly, Atlanta, Georgia, and Holmes Beach, Florida, writes a number of wonderful articles on rendez-vous blog for Marie Claire:

http://www.marieclaire.com/Sex-Love/dating-blog/

And then there's all of those men you date, sociopathic as Tom Miller, a married man who claimed was not ...

And I had friends like George Keisling. George lied to his new girlfriend, Missy Madeline Impagliatelli, when he first met for many things. When she and I started talking, we had our two huge said some lie! (How someone thinks that a relationship can be demonstrated when it starts with lies and deceit is a mystery to me, but it is their problem.)  The lies were so large and so outrageous that it had decided to terminate my friendship with George. Missy decided that George was related material, even if they had known him now, six years of what it was, in my opinion, he is not in a position to really care for someone. Yes, I'm sure the relationship will expire, but obviously the standards are lower than mine, so maybe that will last. Seems to be "bad boys" who wanted to play with explosives. George was convicted for possession of explosives and one of the ex-Missy houses planted dynamite at home:

http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20060526/News/605260411?p=2&TC=PG

Men, as they have done to prevent dating sites and operation effort to meet new men. Missy and George met via an online dating site and he met Tom Miller site through an online appointment. Almost all men who had met through online dating sites was a liar, you will not use another ever again.

But still not give hope that we finally someone very special, someone who really aytopragmatwsis and is much, much better than all the dirtbags in, sociopathic, mentally ill patients meet, you've known in the past.

It is the first I would like to take this post.

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Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - Be Very Quiet

You don't get the full gist of it in the beginning of the relationship. And as far as your significant other is concerned you are not supposed to. If you did than the chances of you still being in the relationship would drop considerably.

So they went about sweeping you off of your feet and did their best to hide their true nature. It worked because you fell in love with them and decided to make a go of things.

But you cannot shake the thought that everything is not what it appears and that includes your significant other. At times you can feel the tension but you are hard pressed to explain why it hangs in the air.

Are you in an abusive relationship but just don't know it yet? There are signs that may be pointing in that direction.

1. Their Rage

We all get angry but when you significant other loses it they really lose it. There are periods during their ranting and raving where they seem totally out of control. Besides what they wind up getting angry about is so trivial in nature that you have a hard time comprehending why something like that would them off.

2. Post Rage

Your significant other has cooled off. Everything appears to be back to normal but you can tell from their body language they are still peeved. Hours or even days later they still have not gotten over it. You make an effort to talk about it but that just sets them off again. There also does not seem to be any self reflection or remorse. In their opinion, they are right and anybody who cannot see that is blind or just plain ignorant. As time goes on their feelings toward whatever set them off start to harden even more.

3. Waiting For the Storm Again

How does their rage make you feel? Do you brush it off as one of those things that you are prepared to handle if it happens again or do you feel yourself whether intentional or not walking on egg shells? If it makes you afraid to the point that you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself openly then there is a problem out there which could get a lot worse.

For more information on abusive relationships please visit The Relationship Tip. Article written by Daryl Campbell.

How to Recognize an Abusive Woman

Has anyone else noticed how over the last decade or so there has been an emergence of abusive women in relationships, many times this abuse goes unreported and is hardly ever talked about by the men who suffer from an abusive woman. This article is designed to help you recognize the signs of an abusive woman so that you can remove yourself from the relationship and save yourself heartache, legal troubles and all of the other negative aspects of being in a relationship with an abusive woman.

One of the first signs of an abusive woman is if she is a bully. Oftentimes the bullying woman will be at her worst in private and seemed to be great and public. If you are in a relationship with a woman that explodes if she doesn't get her way or is unable to control you chances are you are in an abusive relationship. The woman that believes uses emotional threats, intimidation and verbal assaults to get what she wants. Remember, a woman does not need to be physically abusive toward you in order to be considered abusive. Bullying is a common sign of somebody with a narcissistic personality as it makes them feel powerful to make you feel bad. If you are in this type of relationship it's a no-win situation and you should look at getting out.

Another powerful sign that you are in an abusive relationship is if the woman consistently has unreasonable expectations. Let's be clear here, I'm not talking about a woman that is asking you to get a job or take out the trash. If you are in a relationship with a woman who truly has unreasonable expectations you will know it right off the bat. No matter how hard you try to make her happy, it's never enough. This unreasonable abusive woman expects you to drop what you are doing no matter how much of an inconvenience is to you and constantly is placing demands on you that you could never achieve or fulfill. The unreasonable abusive woman is constantly saying things like "you don't spend enough time with me," "you never listen to me," "you're not romantic enough," the list goes on and on no one will ever be enough for this type of abusive woman.

Denial or downplaying is also a common trait of an abusive woman. This is when the woman you are in a relationship with denies what has happened once you try and bring it up with her after the fact. This is possibly one of the most personally damaging things you can allow yourself to be exposed to as you eventually end up thinking that you are the one that is crazy and not her. You will find yourself questioning if things were really as bad as you remember them as she is always saying things like "I never said that", "I didn't do that", "that's not how it happened". If you are in a relationship where both parties can't reasonably sit down after a spirit in argument and apologize when they were out of line this is a good sign that you are in a relationship with an abusive woman.

Another thing to watch out for is getting into a relationship with a woman that is addicted to conflict. These types of women can be some of the most attractive in the first ages of dating and the hardest to discover as abusive women. When you meet them they are in the midst of some horrible situation where they themselves are the victim and you quickly become their hero saving them from this horrible situation. As time goes by you begin to learn that you are in a relationship with a woman that is addicted to chaos and conflict and brings drama into every aspect of her life. You quickly go from being her knight in shining armor to the cause of all her problems and woes in life.

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What You Can Do to Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship

What can you do if someone you know is in an abusive relationship?

The first thing to realize is that the best option for anyone is to leave an abusive relationship. Leaving is the only real solution to this problem. Any other solution is not very good. Even if the abuser somehow has a radical awakening and becomes nice, the hurt the person went through will stay with them forever.

The best help is to strongly encourage them to leave and support them.

So the way to help someone is to tell them you think they should leave their abuser. You tell them you care about them and will help in whatever way you can. Be honest with how much you can help. Maybe they could stay with you for a few days. Maybe you could give them some money to tide them over. Maybe you can come to their house and remove them from the abuser.

The least you can do is to point them towards articles like this and books that explain how harmful it is to be abused. Every person deserves to live a good life free from abuse and information from people like me who were abused, who lived to talk about it and are so much better for leaving help.

You can tell the person that their life will be better after leaving. That is the truth.

I was married to a verbally abusive woman who I eventually had to leave. The way I was able to get strong enough to leave was to continuously read about verbal and mental abuse and how it was so harmful to a person. I read articles like this on the internet and books at the bookstore and the library.

When a person is being verbally abused they are just trying to survive. Thinking about all the possibilities in life does not hold very much meaning because the day-to-day pain of being verbally abused causes depression and a sense of dread and anxiety. Life is just not that good.

You can forward them the links to these types of articles. Please be careful with this. If the abuser sees this they will make the abused persons life more miserable. You really have to be careful. An abusive person is not a normal, nice person. They have issues and you do not know what they are capable of.

About the Author:

Hans Hallanger is The Organized Man. Check out the link http://www.organized-way.com/leave-your-wife.html to learn more about the eBook "How to Leave Your Wife."

5 Ways to Tell If the Man You Are Dating Will Abuse You Emotionally

There are hundreds if not thousands of ways to tell whether or not you are dating a man who will end up being abusive, emotionally. Here, I will be focusing on 5 of those ways. Mostly because they are the ones most familiar to me and those of other women I know.

I was notorious for attracting the same kind of relationship, one after another, where I would end up feeling like I had to sacrifice a part of me to receive love from my partner. I was either too opinionated, not Christian enough, too real, too me, not hip, unable or unwilling to comply solely to their way of being, or in their eyes, simply not good enough.

Before I would come to my senses, every relationship would mirror the ones before, until finally I started to see the bigger picture. In essence, the pieces to the puzzle were being put into place by each relationship where I chose a path to learning and growth.

Obviously a lot easier said than done but it remains a fact from my own personal experience that until a wound is healed, it is not pain free. The physical wounds of sexual and physical abuse may heal but the emotional and psychological ones remain because the body will have its way of remembering the pain as if it was still happening.

And because the universe works in a glorious way to manifest our deepest and most often unconscious desires, we unknowingly attract through our relationships, life partners, friends, companions, husbands, and wives, that which speaks the loudest.

For me, it was a longing to be truly loved and adored by my mother and father, an experience that must have passed me by as a youth because those feelings were then transferred onto others in my personal relationships and partners. And as a result, I attracted partners and people in my life who were unable to step up to the plate when it came to real intimacy, which is what I sought on a subconscious level due to my emotional immaturity (pain).

So how is it that I can now recognize an emotionally healthy man from one who isn't? Here are the five ways:


Be aware of my own emotions (the healthy and the not so healthy ones) Adhere to the warning signs ( you know them - stop signs, red lights, this is the universe's way of saying do not come this way, so heed those signs) Maintenance cleaning (becoming emotionally healthy is a lifestyle, not an event) Emotionally investigate ( it's important not only to know where you are coming from but also where he has been, his wounds, and if he's been cleaning them out in a healthy way) Doing nothing

By doing nothing you are doing something to feed the wound that won't heal. We all have ways in which we can contribute to the evolution of our own emotional, mental, and spiritual self. No human being is perfect and no one man will be able to be your, everything. However, that is not to say that you should expect to be treated in an abusive fashion be it psychological, emotional, physical, or spiritual.

For me this life has been a stage for learning, living, and loving. And I'm finally happy to say that I can now see in myself what it is I long to find in another.

Just because you've been attracting abusive men doesn't mean they are all that way. Start your New Year off differently, learn what other women know about getting a man who is stable and compassionate.

[http://www.NoTime4Pain.com]

Felecia Townsend is a relationship enthusiast and personal coach. She has spent years learning the art of successful relationships and through her philanthropic writing is giving back to the community that has given her so much.

Urgent help needed! This man must marry next week?

A man asks if he should continue with the marriage next week and to marry the fiancée of the abuse and control on http://www.shrink4men.com/. Dr. Tara j. Palmatier offers the advice and requests from the community of Shrink4Men for their contribution.

Here is the link:

Group requires urgent intervention: this man the abusive and controlling fiancé next week should marry?

Services:

Dr. Tara j. Palmatier offers confidential, fee-for-service, consulting/coaching services to help both men and women work through relationship problems by phone and/or Skype chat. The practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and targeted results. Visit the page for Shrink4Men services for professional examinations.

View the original article here

How to Overcome Verbal Abuse

Whether you are abused or think you may be, there are steps you can take to resolve your confusion and help you to navigate toward your personal solution.

You are not at fault; realizing that you cannot and do not control the abuse OR your abuser is priority number one. You cannot "help your abuser" or "mother" him out of abusive behavior. You cannot change him, although he may choose to change himself as a consequence of your new-found healthy behavior!

These four steps will help you clear your thinking after weeks or even years of abuse:

Becoming informed about what constitutes verbal, mental and emotional abuse and the control methods your abuser uses against you is the first step. Recognizing abusive behavior and putting a name to his control methods will help you to see your situation and your abuser in a new light.
Reaching out to friends, family outside your home, and resources in the community is paramount! You're fighting a powerful abusive enemy, and he wants to keep you fighting his game. You'll need all the help you can get. Your silence is his most powerful ally.
Discovering your abuser's abuse cycles helps you learn to trust your gut instinct again - fear is truly a gift. Abusers are not as "unpredictable" or "out of control" as they would like you to think. They often plan their attacks in advance, but blame the violence on you.
Designing a safety plan is a must whether you think you'll leave the abuser or plan to stay with him. Your safety plan will give you the peace of mind that comes with knowing you can leave when and if you must.

Over time, you've likely developed some side-effects of abuse that are inhibiting your ability to exercise personal choice and freedom. The beauty of these first four steps is that they create and support confidence and strength - two characteristics that will help you to say goodbye to abuse and/or your abuser once and for all.

Kellie Jo Holly lived with her verbally, emotionally, mentally and four-time physically abusive husband for 18 years. She separated from him in January 2009, but their relationship is not over due to their two children. She's hoping that one day her husband will admit to his use of manipulation and overcome it. Until then, she writes her story is for you in hopes that you'll recognize your abuser before you get in too deep at Verbal Abuse Journals and her accompanying blog "My Abusive Marriage". Find the help, hope, and resources you need to overcome the misery abusive relationships cause.

Use of private investigators in cases of divorce in Palm Beach

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If Florida is not a bug, and there is no penalty for adultery, because then hire a private investigator?  I get this question all the time, when he would recommend to my clients that they can hire.

The reasons are several: first, a private investigator can evaluate all the public registers of the man to see whether they are owners of real estate, car owners, shipowners, alone or with someone else.  The outgoing woman, had the whole picture of the assets, property wise, and a private investigator to find information for you.  If the husband a private partition for a mistress bought, for example, it will appear in the property records, and money in your Pocket as you a dispersion requirement family assets on the basis of this information archive.

Secondly, a private investigator can check all driving records, criminal activities and behavior of your spouse or your spouse's life.   If your spouse is "forgotten" to tell you about this DUI, got this information helpful if you children books.

Thirdly, a private investigator or forensics expert computer access to computer files, phone records, text messages, internet postings on facebook, match.com and such.  Information is always useful.   A private investigator can be a great witnesses during the process of a divorce.

If you have been stalked, your car is damaged or any other unusual behavior, a private investigator finds that too.  There are many other reasons to a private detective and/or use a computer forensic specialist.  For more information, call one of the lawyers on divorce in ROBIN ROSHKIND, p.a. in 561 835 9091 or click from the company website at www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

It is the first I would like to take this post.

View the original article here

Domestic Abuse - You Are Never At Fault

What you are about to discover is that there is never an excuse for abuse in relationships/marriage. Many women can be very confused about this because they are told so often they are to blame or at fault for the abuse they experience.

They hear the accusation regularly and are persuaded they are to blame or at fault. It is as if they become brainwashed that they are responsible for what happens to them and if only they behaved differently they would not be treated this way.

It gets to a point where women can feel as if they are walking on eggshells because they are never sure what they do that could result in some form of abuse.

This occurs because the abuse happens no matter what they do. Sometimes what can be okay is not at other times. What becomes predictable is that the abuser is unpredictable.

What this means is that women in these situations can be in a stressed state all the time because they never know what will happen next.

Because they are told they are to blame so often they can think it must be true. They are amazed because he does not behave this way with other people. He is so pleasant to them, even charming.

Women who are abused can think they must be to blame or at fault for the domestic abuse as this adds further weight to the accusations.

I remember one woman I saw as a client who was telling me how her husband treated her and their two young sons.

He was not physically violent, but he was abusive in a range of other ways and from what she was telling me it seems he was like a tyrant in the home.

She did not tell me he blamed her, however, very early on in the first session I had with her I said, "it has nothing to do with how you are."

I went on to say some other things, but she sat there as if transfixed and totally absorbed because of what I said, not needing to hear anything else.

After sitting there in silence for what felt like a long time, seemingly in a trance, she finally emerged from the daze and said, "are you saying it has nothing to do with me?"

I reassured her about this because she was not to blame, and he was responsible for what he did. She then described how she had been treated for years.

She was always told it was her fault, she was made to feel almost nothing was okay and she was to blame.

That is a number of years ago now and I remember her so clearly and I am amazed how emotional I become as I write this.

What I had said to her was all she needed to hear. She was able to make plans from there to get on with her life.

These people were middle class, seemingly comfortable financially, living in a "nice" house in the "right" suburb.

I should add I also saw her partner separately and he presented as the "perfect" gentleman. No acknowledgment at all about how he treated his partner.

Leo has been a counselor for twenty years dealing with a range of issues with clients. During that time he has dealt with relationships primarily. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on relationships to a broad cross section of people in the community, including other counselors, doctors, nurses, police, parliamentarians, church groups, to name a few. He has also been interviewed by all sectors of the media about aspects of his work. His website is http://www.domesticabusenotyourfault.com

Integration of Dr. Tara j. Palmatier radio AVFM available on Shrink4Men. com

Hello everyone,

Here is the link to the show tonight. The theme is "random" pregnancy, reproductive coercion, recruitment of children as weapons.

Integration of Dr. Tara j. Palmatier radio AVFM: "accidentally" pregnancy and reproductive coercion

Shrink4Men Coaching and consulting services:

Dr. Tara j. Palmatier offers confidential, fee-for-service, consulting/coaching services to help both men and women work through relationship problems by phone and/or Skype chat. The practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and targeted results. Visit the page for Shrink4Men services for professional examinations.

View the original article here

Healing Victimization Habits of Abusive Relationships - Whose Problem is Your "No?"

When I say, "No" to a request of yours, whose problem is it? Is it your problem or is it mine?

Your answer to this question can give you insight into whether you are in an abusive relationship. It is also the answer to whether you are still practicing habits of victimization.

When My "No" Is My Problem

For example, let's imagine that your partner makes a request and your immediate reaction is one of "uneasiness" wherein your gut is saying "no." Yet, you hesitate in putting that out there, and instead you keep it to yourself and yield to his request.

In this scenario, you have made your "no" your problem. You have attached consequences to your saying "no" to your partner's request that have negative implications for you. Essentially, you have made your "no" your issue-your problem.

But the fact is your "no" is not your problem. It's the other person's problem...unless you are dealing with someone who makes it your problem, as in the case of abusive relationships.

When My "No" Is Your Problem

Now imagine someone asking something of you wherein you experience that same uneasy feeling that tells you, "I don't want this...This is not for me...My choice is 'no'." And you simply relay that to the person making the request without becoming attached to and entangled in how they deal with your "no."

You may be mindful that your response will not be to the other person's liking, but you don't reflexively make that your problem. Instead, you trust that the other person will find it within himself/herself to cope with your reply without it having negative consequences for you.

Moreover, you trust that in clearly stating your preferences on the matter in question, you enhance the relationship. You are giving yourself permission to be genuine with that person, and you're giving them an opportunity to know you and your preferences.

Breaking Habits of Victimization

When you feel as though you need to regulate the other person's reaction to your involvement in the relationship, then you are cooperating in creating a dysfunctional interaction. You are supporting an arrangement that provides for the existence of one person in the relationship. And in doing this, you eliminate the other-yourself.

If you are in an abusive relationship or have been in an abusive relationship, you may have cultivated habits of victimization that support your being disempowered in relation to others. When you break these habits, you will discover how satisfying it is to be yourself in relation to others.

For more information about breaking the habits of victimization and healing abusive relationships, visit http://www.domesticabusetreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from spousal abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

That is to say, where is God when I'm s-scared?

Let me begin by saying that I love the Veggie Tales.  I grew up with a really strange crush for Bob the tomato. I had a problem with my food to grow vegetables, not because I don't want them but because I knew that the cucumber on my plate was a cousin of Larry. Maybe it was a weird of my child. If you want, then have you already found where obtained the title of this post.

The first episode of Veggie Tales, where the right is God when I'm S-scared, was one of my favorites growing up. This is Junior asparagus bang, after watching a movie monster, that the nightmare to him.

Of course, Bob the tomato and Larry the cucumber burst at the right time and to remind him, by means of explicit vocals, that God is bigger than the nightmare!

Awesome, right? Can remember every five years.

Then why is it so hard to believe?

One in three girls and boys, one of the six will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 18 years.

One in four women will be a victim of the abuse of her life.

There are people out there who harm others, and when we statistics are, it's so hard to believe that God really bigger than the nightmare. Therefore, it is hard to believe is there, it can hurt our people. If you see the Sparrow can fall, why not reach his hand and catch this? If you know that the hairs on our heads, why doesn't he step when an abuse boyfriend trying to pull?

These are tough questions. Wobble my faith questions.  And I have no answers to all of them.

But know this. God is bigger than the nightmare. This can be the Boogeymen is voluntary in our lives that he gives us all. But our God is even greater. One way or another, is inexplicable, still in control, and what man does evil, God can work for good. It is always comforting, because it never seems to be good enough to out-do evil. However, it's something to keep.

And I know that.  When I'm s-scared ", God in there with me. I can not say that it is not always that the feeling is presence. However, I am confident that his promises. He did not promise to stop all the bad things that happen to us, but promises comfort and strengthen us as we pass through them.

Maybe stricter life problems are not fully answered from one episode Veggie Tales.  But this is bigger than the boogeyman and there is when we are afraid.

And sometimes, you will want to be reminded of that song with vegetables.

View the original article here

Controlling Relationships - The Choice of Control in Abusive Relationships

Physical dependence, emotional dependence and financial dependence are characteristics we see in battered women. Physical control, emotional control and financial control are characteristics common to abusive relationships. 

When we think of the word dependence, in adult relationships in which both parties are physically healthy, we imply choice. When we think of the word control, we deny the reality of choice and instead claim victimization. 

But the fact is that we choose to be controlled, just as we choose our dependencies. In working with battered women, I am keenly aware that they know of the choices they make in their abusive relationships. I certainly did in mine. 

Here are some steps you can take toward your independence and self-sufficiency before and during an abusive relationship. 

1) Make it a habit to have an activity or handful of activities that you do on your own without requiring the help or assistance of anyone else. 

2) Establish and maintain a friendship with an adult outside of your intimate relationship. This can be a family member, a coworker, a parent of your children's friends or a neighbor, physician or hairdresser. 

3) Maintain your own money. Even if it is only a small amount, place some funds in an account (saving or storage) that you and only you control. 

Now you may think that it is impossible to accomplish the above because your partner does not allow you to have separate funds, your own friends, nor independent personal passions. It is the nature of the beast. 

Make it your job early on in your relationship to groom your partner to appreciate the fact that you have money of your own, friends of your own and things you enjoy doing outside of your relationship. The sooner you do this, the less likely you will fall prey to the entrapment of an abusive relationship.

For more information about domestic abuse dynamics, visit www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/identify_domestic_abuse.php and get Free Instant Access to survivor success eInsights. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention.

Why Do Women Stay In Abusive Relationships?

If you have a loved one in an abusive relationship, the worry and often guilt can be almost overwhelming. Why would they choose this person? Should I have said something earlier? Why didn't I sense what their partner was really like when I first met them? What should I be doing now?

The questions will eat you alive if you let them.

However, the important thing to focus on is what you can do now to help them get out of the situation and what you can do in the future to help them not get into a situation like that again.

As far as what you can do now, the main thing is just to let the person know that you are there to support them. Don't pressure them to make the decision you want them to. Also, don't pressure them to be in touch with you, to follow through on plans, or anything else that they may have become unreliable at doing. They are under constant pressure from their abusive partner, as well as probably other people in their life. You want them to think of you as the one person they can always turn to, no matter what. In this way, they will be much more likely to turn to you for help if and when they do make the difficult decision to leave their abusive relationship.

A sad reality is that people tend to repeat unhealthy patterns in their life. Therefore, a scary possibility is that you might again find yourself watching your friend begin a relationship with a dangerous partner.

Hopefully, though, you will find yourself better prepared to spot the danger signs having been through it before. Also hopefully, your friend might be more likely to trust you after you have helped them once before.

The important thing to remember is to value your friend and let them know you are there for them.

To find out more about why women stay in abusive relationships and how you can help, visit http://squidoo.com/abusiverelationships

Leave a Psychologically Abusive Relationship - 5 Steps to Success

A psychologically abusive, "toxic" relationship can be hard to define. However its effects can be as devastating as physical abuse. Lower self esteem, a feeling of helplessness and being trapped, and depression can result from repeated exposure to this kind of relationship. Fortunately, there are strategies to help you detach from a toxic relationship:

1. Listen to your gut instinct. If you feel badly around your partner, and worse about yourself, be aware this is not normal and should be paid attention to. A healthy relationship has conflict, but it should not leave you feeling awful about yourself on a regular basis. Verbal put downs may be blatant or subtle, public or private, but they are always damaging.

2. Listen to your trusted friends and family. These are the people who love you and know you best. If they express concern about the way you are being treated, pay attention to what they are saying. Remember, if they are people you are happy and safe around, they do not have the agenda to control your life like your toxic partner does.

3. Make advance preparations. If you are considering leaving, be sure you have a plan in place that includes making copies of all important records and documents and getting a credit card and a bank account in your own name. It is important to remove as much of your practical dependency on your partner as you can.

4. Gather professional resources around you. Enlist the services of a reputable attorney, a good counselor, a naturopath, and other support persons who can help you transition from hopelessness to empowerment. This network will help you successfully navigate the emotional and practical hurdles ahead.

5. Keep plans to yourself. Other than your trusted inner circle, keep plans to leave private from your abusive partner. He or she will only try to talk you out of leaving and employ whatever tactic necessary to prevent you from leaving. Remember, the most dangerous and difficult time in an abusive relationship is when you are leaving. If you have any fear for your safety or the safety of your loved ones, please consult with a mental health professional or women's crisis line in your area before leaving.

Relationship problems often go hand-in-hand with depression. For a free copy of my ebook, "Natural Methods To Fight Depression", click here: http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-naturalmethodstofightdepression.html

Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

Rescuing Your Ex From an Abusive Relationship

No matter how hard it may be to lose your ex to another it is even more painful when they are involved in an abusive situation and you are not sure how to rescue them. Not only are you longer the center of their life but the person they are with are just plain bad news. No one deserves to be treated carelessly.

Even if your primary goal is not to get your ex back you certainly don't want to see them involved in a demoralizing relationship. Don't just set back judging her poor choice, decide to do something about it. You need to make sure she understands she deserves better from someone, especially someone that she professes to love. Convincing her that you are only looking out for her with no alternative motives may proof a little tricky. Be sure you are not doing it for you own selfish gain. No matter the reasons, the bottom line is she needs some help.

Often people involved in these type of relationships really don't want to be rescued and see it as their due. However if the relationship appears to be one in which she could be physically in danger you need to do all within your power to make her understand this.

Sometimes people fall into a pattern of accepting abusive behavior. You may just prove to be a safe haven for her should she ever need one. Let her know you can be trusted. If in the past you had a good relationship then she will be keen to listen to you. If you were not the most stellar boyfriend do whatever you can to show her you turned over a new leaf. Once she perceives she can lean on you she will be ready to heed your advice. Show her through your actions that she deserves kind treatment. Abusive people depend on belittling others and she may have come to believe she deserves unfair treatment. Remember her self esteem has suffered because of being mistreated.

Even if you have no romantic concerns for her, just for old time's sake she deserves better treatment. Showing her that she needs rescuing with no strings attached will help put her mind at ease. If you do still have feelings for her keep those in confidence as you may only make things worse for her. Often the abusive person will become very possessive and may hurt her even further. Their jealous streaks run long and deep. It they sense a lack of control they may spiral into more dangerous behavior patterns.

Above all else value her safety first. She is in trouble and needs your help. Don't turn away from her. Sure things could get ugly but you need to step up to the plate.

Not only is there a chance you may get her back, you may even save her life.

Joel is an expert author whose been publishing online for several years. To learn more about pellet stoves visit his latest website at pellet stove fuel,which provides articles on all aspects of wood pellet stoves along with creditable references to help you assess and determine the best wood burning pellet stoves.

About the importance of revocable consent

You may have noticed I was absent for some time. Most likely, nobody is really interested, because I believe that the only people who read this are children who know IRL. But anyway, I would like to return to blogging and I feel like a striking gap in my positions must be interpreted. I also believe that it is important to discuss, and if you don't very much care for this conversation.

This is probably where we should have a TRIGGER warning for rape.

I think that no one will be surprised that were interpersonal drama that ate in my life and I loved this blog. This is for me a lot. I'm pretty used to this by now, but it tries to emerge from the cycle is mind-numbingly difficult. I understand the procedure now? how my own emotional contribute to this. I am very desperate for love and confirmation, make people easier and more tightly than is healthy. I am also very socially inefficient, which means that I have a tendency to accidentally hell relations, and that I know of recognizing when partnerships with the South will begin. I don't have a very good model for what a healthy, healthy relationship.

Even unconsciously, it helped me to see what happens and happens. I'm still trying the bit.

In this case, however, I stumbled into a new kind of badness: sexual coercion.

A person who participated in sexual, who remain unnamed, had firmly places more pressure for me to get off. It is interesting, and grim, clearly had no idea. Many of my friends have noticed that, looking for dialogue as spectators, but it took me some time to note, and it never did. Even when I tried to tell him this, couldn't he just accept.

In my case I contribute to the force. My my uncertainty, emotional dependency, passivity and a whole slew of problems that I got all tangled up in each other, have kept me from the claim itself, say the top that I didn't want to have sex with her anymore. Indeed, even if you couldn't get myself to say so explicitly, but this was not my attachment disorders and for all these reasons, I would probably not have succumbed all. one. the time.

The biggest things went, the less I could say no, or much of anything to say. Certainly could not such. I wound up tying passive aggressive without even this. He did, however, and instead of asking what was going on, he performed like everything was normal. It is not possible to hold that against him, because that is exactly what I do under stress. But I'm a little worried about the fact that he believed that it would mean and terrible to him, but was still quite willing to get drunk her blowjobs by me.

This is another thing. Nearly every time we fucked, I was drunk. It was not. That should be a red flag for me, but I haven't noticed until much later.

It got to where I was so nervous about the fact was that around, you get drunk almost every year. Then, leading to more sex, which leads to more nervousness.

Apparently also, I found very annoying when drunk. But not annoying enough that he didn't want to fuck me.

So, this was months of mainly dubcon. In my opinion, both of us errors. While this was that I was abusing me, avoids what allows abuse by actively know him of something that they can do to stop the abuse.

It is not very healthy, too.

Finally, things came to the actual rape. I will now turn to the section on revocable consent.

Behold, our culture has some serious problems with how we deal with rape. Ypopsei those in particular, how do you keep everything else. When we think we will have a big strong man robbing a woman of the street, holding a gun to her head and forcing himself on her, while she screams and House raping. We can even frat boy slipped a sleezy roofie in coed a drink at a party. However, there are many, many things we do not believe it.

That night, he was drunk. Very drunk. I've been drunker than it should have, I got some Klonopin, and drank more. And then everyone went to sleep.

I was drunk enough that I things started. Proposal for an activity that we had not yet dealt with. However, that we are talking about things first, because I had tried to talk about some important things for a long time. He spoke to me. Then he told me that he had to wear a condom. He spoke to me. Then I tried to undo the last moment. And that he ignored.

And while he did, just put it there. I didn't say or do anything until I asked if felt good and autopilot. I had to tell him that he wanted to hear. Not able to overthrow him.

I said yes.

This is the part that I find most repellent.

This and the fact that when I tried to say it later, he saw that as rape. We reached agreement on all aspects of how it happened, not only about the findings. I find that worrying. And then he said I was wrong, and a monster.

I fear that supposedly enlightened and modern society, most people assume permission somewhat irreversible. Even before the night, I think that the coercion was because I saw a previous consensus to leave it open. If you suck the Cock agree, because I don't want to do it again? When I?

Even if he doesn't keep, it was rape. Even if you don't fight back, it was rape. Although things started, it was rape. Although I said that I felt good, it was rape. Even if they had felt good, even rape.

It is important to talk about it. It is important for the story to be there, for anyone who has experienced this, to know that they are not alone. It could be argued that is in danger, to know what can happen, and we know them. And for anyone who might have committed rape, that is all, be aware that this is not good. If you do this, rape is.

You've seen those information movies that saying "rape is the question of man"? It is a mistake. Rape is everyone's problem. Anyone can be raped, and who can commit rape. And the only way to fight this is to inform, to talk about and debunk myths.

~ from onetiddlyridley on June 24, 2011. Posted in rant, sexuality
Tags: abuse, abusive relationships, communication, codependency, authorisation, date rape, love addiction, rape culture, revocable consent, sex addiction, sex and love, drug addiction, sexual coercion, vicious circle, victim blaming

View the original article here

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

An inventory, which has been administered to approximately 100 women known to have been abused by their partners, has yielded a consistent response, such as "I didn't know I was being abused until I took the test. I thought my relationship was normal but just had some problems."

Very many women are suffering quietly in an outrageous relationship because they do not even realize that they are being abused. They have become so compliant through abuse beginning in childhood that cannot detect abnormal treatment.

For this reason, Dr. Heyward Ewart has listed 34 questions for women to ask themselves to determine if their relationship is abusive. Ewart, an experienced clinician, offers these questions to help women realize their potential plight:

1. Are you afraid of your partner?

2. Do you feel as though you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep your partner from getting grouchy?

3. Has your partner ever hit, slapped, or pushed you?

4. Do your feel you deserve to be punished?

5. Do you ever have the feeling you've done something wrong but you don't know what it is?

6. Have you lost respect or love for your partner?

7. Are you ever afraid your partner will hurt the children?

8. Have you ever daydreamed of killing or disabling your partner?

9. Is your partner good to you some or most of the time but suddenly gets scary?

10. Are the children afraid of your partner?

11. Does your partner ever tell you you're crazy?

12. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you?

13. Do you ever fear you may be seriously hurt by your partner?

14. Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide?

15. Has anybody warned you to get out of the relationship?

16. Were you abused or neglected as a child?

17. Has your partner forced you to do things you don't want to do?

18. If you say "no" to your partner, is there danger?

19. Have you lost any friends due to your partner?

20. Does your partner have to approve where you go and when?

21. Have you lost a job because of your partner?

22. Does your partner stop you from doing things you want to do?

23. Does your partner doubt your word; that is, not believe you?

24. Do you feel emotionally numb?

25. Are you afraid to tell anyone what's really going on?

26. Have you ever wanted to call the police or someone else for protection?

27. Do you ever feel hopeless about your situation?

28. Have you ever thought about running away?

29. Does your partner change when using alcohol or drugs?

30. Are you forced into sex when you're not willing?

31. Do you feel like your partner's personal possession?

32. Have you ever been in a violent or controlling relationship before?

33. Was there bad fighting in the family you grew up in?

34. Are you a grown child of an alcoholic or drug abuser?

Dr. Heyward Ewart is the author of "AM I BAD? Recovering from Abuse", set for September release by Loving Healing press. This and other tests, along with the ebook version, are offered at [http://www.child-to-adult-victim.com]

Understanding Your Troubled Relationship - 2 Ways You Can Save It

If you are in a relationship where you feel confused and lost, you probably need to learn ways of understanding your troubled relationship so that you can decide to save it or abandon it. Sometimes when we are too caught up in the events of our lives and relationship, we tend to lose sight on what is important to us and what are bad for us. So here I will help you understand your troubled relationship and explore if there is a way to save it.

#1: You are in an abusive relationship

I am not being biased here but usually when people are in an abusive, physical or emotional, relationship my advice to them is to get out of it if they have not or abandon it if they are already out. Because if your partner is abusive, it is very difficult for him or her to change in the short term. These abusive behaviours are imprinted in them every since childhood so for them to change for the better, the both of you will need a huge amount of time, effort and perseverance to make things work out.

However, if your choice is to stay with the man or woman of your dreams. It isn't impossible for things to work out well. And like I said, you need to have plenty of patience, tolerance and perseverance during this process because it is likely that you may still get abused during this period of time.

How you can save it is to let your partner know that if this relationship is ever going to work out, he or she has to promise that he or she will change. (In words and in actions) Let your partner know that changing and taking away their abusive self is the only way you will make peace with the past and carry on living happily together. With that said, do not simply rush back into the relationship. Take things a day at a time and let your partner show you that he or she is really repentant about his or her ways before getting back together with your ex. This could take months or years for you to feel their sincerity but since they are the ones who hurt you, it is their duty to constantly assure you (in words and in action) that they have changed for the better.

When you feel ready to accept them again, it is time to accept them. However, I must let you know that there is a possibility of their abusive nature to suffer a relapse and you have to be prepared for it.

#2: Your partner is not that into you

If your partner is not that into you, it is a rather tricky situation to handle. Because you cannot control how your partner feels and to get back that special feeling with him or her will be difficult. The symptoms when your partner is not that into you is when your partner is always busy with 'work' but is still able to make time for his or her friends. Or when your partner is always tired and puts in less effort when talking to you or when the both of you are having sex.

What you can do to save the relationship is to be the one that is just continue being yourself and appreciating every moment you have with the person. Because as I've mentioned earlier, you cannot control his or her feelings and the best you can do is to appreciate any little sweetness in the relationship.

With that said, it is not the end of your relationship! Even if your partner decides to or is thinking about a breakup with you there are additional ways you can save it.

Did you know there are proven techniques for stopping a break up?

Don't make the mistake of relying solely on what you already know to guide you. If you love your partner, do your best to make your partner stay. Start by watching an informative video - that tells you the exact things you need to say and do to win your love back - by CLICKING HERE NOW: http://winningloveback.info